Red Roan Reiki, Energy Bodywork, and Animal Communication

11/05/2025

Decoding Dominance: The Truth About ‘Alpha’ Theories and Animal Behavior

The idea that you must be the “alpha” or “leader of the pack” to earn a horse’s or dog’s respect is everywhere in traditional animal training. You’ve probably heard phrases like “show him who’s boss,” “make her submit,” or “dominate to earn trust.” But where did this theory come from—and why is it so misunderstood today?

The Origins:

Dominance theory arose from early studies of captive wolf packs in the mid-20th century. Researchers observed a strict hierarchy—alphas, betas, omegas—and assumed that natural social animals, including dogs and horses, function the same way: challenging for rank, demanding compliance, and responding best to firm control. This became the foundation for training based on asserting dominance.

What Science Actually Says:

Modern science has thoroughly debunked these old views. Later research showed that wild wolves form cooperative family units, not perpetual power struggles. Horses, too, are social grazers, not hierarchical “rank-obsessed” animals. Feral horse bands are loosely organized, with leadership changing based on context—who has experience, who finds water, who’s calm in crisis. Most so-called “dominance” behaviors in horses are about communication, not control or aggression.

Consequences of the ‘Alpha’ Approach:

Applying these outdated ideas leads to real harm:

Using force, fear, or punishment to “show who’s boss” shuts down trust and damages the relationship.

Horses subjected to dominance-based methods may submit outwardly but internally become anxious or even traumatized.

Dominance theory excuses violence—yanking, hitting, running in circles—by masking it as “training.”

Real communication gets lost as animals learn to avoid conflict, not engage with us authentically.

Worst of all: Many behavior problems get worse, not better, when domination is the primary tool.

What’s the Alternative?

Ethical horsemanship, including approaches like Autonomous Horsemanship, recognizes that horses thrive when we honor their autonomy, listen to their signals, and build partnership through respect, not force. True leadership is about safety, consistency, and clear boundaries—not coercion. Horses want security and calm, not someone constantly trying to “win.”

In Practice:

Build trust with time and patience, not threats.

Invite, don’t compel. Let the horse be part of the conversation.

Let go of myths about “respect” being earned only through dominance.

Practice empathy and communication: a horse who feels safe will choose to connect, not out of fear, but because they trust you.

The Bottom Line:

Science has moved on from dominance, and so should we. When we leave “alpha” thinking behind and meet animals as partners, we create relationships rooted in mutual respect, safety, and joy. Let’s raise the standard—for our horses, for ourselves, and for a more compassionate world.

10/30/2025

🌿 From Science to Soul – Day 3: Doing Nothing Is an Action

“Doing nothing” sounds easy, doesn’t it? But in the horse world, it might be one of the hardest things we do.

At the clinic, Warwick’s idea of groundwork for connection stopped me in my tracks. He wasn’t sending the horse out to lunge, micromanaging every turn, or testing obedience with endless cues. There were no inside turns, outside turns, or drills for precision. He just… stood there.

If the horse wanted to touch him, he let it.
If it looked away, he let it.
If it stood still, he stood still.

And slowly — almost imperceptibly — those dysregulated, busy horses began to breathe. You could see them soften. The energy in their bodies shifted from tension to peace, and it all began with a human who simply stood in grounded awareness and did less.

I realised that “doing nothing” wasn’t passive. It was deeply active presence — the kind that allows another nervous system to co-regulate with yours.

In my own work, I’ve been trained to do — to teach the stop, the go, the turn, the yield. It’s the science of shaping behaviour. But Warwick reminded me that connection starts where the doing stops. Sometimes the best groundwork session is simply standing still together.

Now, when I go into the arena, I’m learning to ask myself:

“Am I doing this to connect, or to perform?”

Because when we release the need to make something happen, connection happens on its own.

Tomorrow: Day 4 – Rupture and Repair – Rebuilding Trust Without Control.

10/29/2025

10/22/2025

10/19/2025

We tried a new turnout at the barn today:) Skip obliged by bringing himself back to their “home base” while I led Persis ahead of him ❤️

10/18/2025

“I’ll Let Them…”

✨ A Reflection on Language, Power, and True Autonomy

I’ve noticed a phrase that slips easily into conversations among even the most well-intentioned horse guardians.
“I’ll let them rest.”
“I’ll let them choose whether they want to be ridden today.”
“I let my horse decide when we’re done.”

On the surface, it sounds kind—progressive, even. It acknowledges the horse’s preferences, right?

But when I sit with it… something doesn’t feel quite right.

“Let them” still centers me as the one in control.
It implies the horse’s freedom is conditional—granted or withheld based on my mood, my goals, my sense of what’s reasonable.

And here’s the hard truth:
If I’m the one letting them, they were never truly free to begin with.

This is the language of hierarchy, not partnership.
It’s the language of colonizers, of slaveholders, of systems built on control.

—
“I’ll let them rest.”
What if they were never meant to earn rest in the first place?

“I’ll let them choose.”
What if they had the right to choose all along?

—
This isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about being honest.

Horses didn’t volunteer for the systems we created. They didn’t ask to be bred for our goals, confined for our convenience, or trained for our enjoyment. And even when we try to do better—even when we soften the methods, take the pressure off, offer more choice—if we’re still the ones “letting” them, we haven’t fully stepped out of the old paradigm.

If we’re serious about Autonomous Horsemanship…
If we’re sincere about co-creating a world working toward mutual consent…
We must confront the shadows still hiding in our words.
Because language reveals beliefs—and beliefs guide behavior.

What would change if we stopped seeing ourselves as benevolent gatekeepers of our horses’ freedoms?

What if rest was a given, not a gift?

What if choice didn’t have to be earned?

What if instead of “letting” our horses do something, we simply listened, honored, and adapted?

—
These questions are not meant to shame. They’re meant to liberate.
Not just our horses, but ourselves—from outdated roles we never truly wanted to play.

Let’s move from power over to power with.

Let’s build relationships rooted in presence, respect, and reciprocity.

Let’s stop “letting”… and start listening.

Learn more at https://stormymay.com

🌿

10/16/2025

Acupressure helps to keep whole systems of the horse healthy! (humans too!)

Send a message to learn more

10/14/2025

These posts speak to me so much - are so beautiful ❤️ We can all be in awe of the beings that horses are and offer them the utmost respect ❤️

What I Choose Isn’t Nothing

When I’m not being “used,” people think I’m doing nothing.

But I’m grazing…
Watching the wind ripple through the grass…
Listening to birds call from the trees…
Feeling the sun on my back and the earth beneath my hooves.

I’m remembering how to be a horse.

Not a tool.
Not a project.
Not a means to an end.

Just a being.
Breathing.
Alive.
Whole.

That’s not nothing.

That’s everything.

🌱 When we let go of needing horses to do something, we start to see who they are.