08/18/2025
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Last week I wrote about what makes a good boarding barn. This week, I want to share things from the perspective of most barn owners /trainers. What makes a good boarder? Obviously, just like in any relationship, there has to be a certain chemistry. Boarders and Barn Owners/Trainers will spend a LOT of time together, often in high stakes or stressful situations. Starting from a foundation of “we at least think we like each other” is a necessary launching point. That chemistry is why a lot of barns want to meet you, spend some time with you, and get a feel for your style before agreeing to let you board with them. Once that part is taken care of, there are other important things that can make or break the boarder/barn owner relationship. Here’s a breakdown:
1. Respect for the Facility
In an ideal world, you are boarding at a place that meets all your needs and all your horse’s needs. I know that board is expensive (I’ll write about why next week) and that most people are stretching themselves to get their horse the best care they can. That includes finding a facility that matches your needs and budget. Being respectful of that space will earn you a soft spot in the heart of your barn owner/trainer! Here’s how to do that:
Know the barn rules and follow them. Don’t convince yourself that you are the exception. The rules are in place for good reasons. Some of the rules are dictated by what our insurance requires. Some of the rules are there because we’ve had years and years of experience learning how to protect you and your horse and keep everyone safe. And some of the rules are there because we have seen things we NEVER thought we would have to enshrine into a written rule that have actually happened and now we have to have a rule about it (I could write a book about these).
Leaves spaces tidy. I know that tidy varies person to person, but in general, leaving things the way you found them (or better) makes you a treasured part of the boarding community. As a people-pleaser who wants to be nice to everyone, I really hate it when I have to remind a boarder that it’s not ok to leave the grooming or wash stall like a trash yard when they’re done. It’s an uncomfortable conversation and it’s just not fair to the barn owner or the staff at the barn to be cleaning up behind you.
Takes care of provided equipment. I know that sometimes it seems like all we do is talk about how much stuff in the horse world costs. But we can’t ever stop talking about it because it really does just COST SO MUCH. Even a simple set of cross-ties is $50. The cost of jumps would make your eyes water (thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars). The list goes on, but most boarding barns provide these types of amenities as part of your board. I love to provide the best amenities I can, and provide a fabulous experience for you and your horse. Just please be careful with the stuff you use and borrow.
2. Consideration for Staff and Management
The relationship between boarder, owner, and barn staff, is the great definer of your barn experience. These relationships can get complicated and messy quickly, and almost always, when a boarder leaves a barn, it is because there has been a breakdown in the relationship between these parties. There are so many ways to avoid this pitfall. Here are a few:
Pays board and fees on time. This shouldn’t need to be a reminder, but unfortunately for most barns, this is a continual source of frustration. Horses are expensive, not just for boarder, but for boarding barns. We have to pay the hay guy, the grain store, the electric bill, the water bill, the shavings company, the insurance company and most importantly, the staff. They expect payment on time. When boarders are late on board this means your barn owner/trainer will have to pay out of their own pocket to keep things up and running. I can’t begin to explain the stress and frustration this creates. We’re not talking about a few hundred bucks here and there. In any given month this can be tens of thousands of dollars (no joke). In addition to asking your barn owner to bankroll your horse when you don’t pay on time, you put them in the crummy situation of having to ask you for money. This is uncomfortable at best. Don’t put us in that situation!
Communicates clearly. Communication is everything in a barn. Most barns are super willing to accommodate your needs, as long as we know about them. If you are going to be getting to the barn late and want us to keep your horse in, by all means text us and let us know. If your horse has a small cut, scrape, or injury and you want us to keep an eye on it, we’d be more than happy to do that. If something happened and you were upset about it, we would like that communication too. The worst thing is when communication breaks down, or a boarder doesn’t share with a barn owner what they’re frustrated about, and resentment and bitterness builds. Communicate frequently, kindly, and with respect.
Appreciate the staff. At any barn, large or small, somebody (usually several somebodies) is making sure your horse has a clean stall, fresh bedding, and clean buckets. Somebody is paying attention to how your horse looks when they come in from turnout, treating small cuts and scrapes, taking on and off bellboots, noticing how much water your horse drank today, informing the barn owner that a horse just doesn’t seem like themselves even though they can’t put a finger on why. These folks are the most important people in your horse’s life. In fact, new research shows that staff turnover is a contributing factor in ulcer development in a horse. Simply put, you may see the staff at your barn for a little bit here and there. But your horse sees them day in and day out and he or she relies on them for everything. I should probably write a whole article on this topic (and maybe I will). But suffice it to say that there are no barns out there that can afford to pay an hourly wage or salary that is commensurate with the importance of the job their staff do. Please know that the majority of staff at the barn could be doing jobs that are far less physically grueling physically, far less dangerous, and perhaps even better paid (oh, and in heating or AC instead of in the elements all year round). Horse barn staff are not here for the money, the benefits (there are usually none) or the opportunity for promotion. They are here because they are passionate about horses and this is the calling they have followed. Please, for the love of God, treat them well. Be kind. Be appreciative. Show small gestures of care (gifts, tips, hot coffees in the winter and cold drinks in the summer all go a long way to helping staff feel valued). Don’t put them in difficult positions by asking them questions you should be asking the trainer or barn owner. And know that for a barn owner, trusted and reliable staff are worth more than anything else.
Trust is a Two-Way Street. When I talk to most horse owners and potential boarders, the thing they say they want the most in a boarding facility is the ability to trust that their horse is getting good care. I think this IS fundamentally correct. However, I would encourage you to remember that trust is a two-way street. This is not just about you trusting the barn where you have your horse stabled. It’s also about the barn owner/trainer/staff being able to trust you. What do I mean by that? If we eliminate the most egregious breaking of trust (things like stealing, spreading rumors, or hurting someone intentionally) what we’re left with is relational trust. In order to do a good job for you and your horse, I need to be able to tell you the truth. And I need to trust that you are not going to blame me, shame me, or explode at me when I tell you that truth. These truths are often really simple (your horse lost a shoe again, your horse ripped his new blanket, your horse caught his halter on the gate and broke it, your horse isn’t eating his supplements). But many barn owners and staff don’t want to tell you these things because we’ve all had experiences where we’ve been yelled at, blamed, or told we’re being negligent for your horse being a horse. Believe me when I say that we understand the frustration these things cause; it frustrates us too. But if you create a dynamic where a barn owner/trainer/staff feel like you are too volatile to hear the truth, you will miss out on a lot of information you should have, and in some cases, you will be lied to. This is not intentional; it’s protective. If you take nothing else away from this post, take this: Most barns have been conditioned to believe that they will be blamed for anything that goes wrong. But nobody and nothing is perfect. Mistakes will be made. Things will happen that will frustrate you. If your barn is telling you the truth about those things, don’t be a jerk. Be grateful that you have a relationship of trust.
3. Good Horse Stewardship
Just like you, I want the best things for your horse. Sometimes we won’t see eye-to-eye on what that is. When that happens, healthy conversation is imperative. These are the types of conversation where both sides listen, respond, and make a plan; not the kind of conversation where one side is right and the other wrong or defensive. Good horses stewardship is perhaps the trickiest things to navigate because there are SO many opinions, styles, and traditions involved. Make sure you understand where your barn stands on these things before choosing to board there. Otherwise here are some tips to help keep things cordial:
Keep your horse in good health. Don’t make the barn have to remind you that your horse needs vaccinations, the farrier, an x-ray, etc. I know you want to see your horse thriving, and I also know that sometimes these services are expensive. They are part of responsible horse ownership though and the barn should not have to beg you to get them done. I know too many barn owners (myself included) who cover the cost of things their clients don’t do for their horses. That is unfair and unacceptable.
Ensures your horse can be handled safely. This one is simple. It’s your responsibility as an owner to make sure your horse has basic manners, unless you are at a barn PAYING a trainer to put those manners on your horse. Please don’t endanger us by not ensuring your horse can do basic things like walk in and out safely, stand for the farrier, get pasted for meds, etc. If you need help with these things, ask your barn! I love it when owners ask me for help in these areas and understand that this is also a form of training (and therefore is a paid service).
Be responsible about turnout and arena use. Ok, here’s the deal. For most of us who own farms, the most expensive things we have are our arenas (especially indoors) and our fencing. Footing runs into the tens of thousands of dollars. So does fencing. Please follow your barn rules. If your barn asks that you not lunge a horse in the arena, please don’t lunge your horse in the arena. If your horse is destructive to the farm fences, please talk to the barn owner and help find ways to retrain this behavior. Offer to pay for the damages your horse has caused if they are above and beyond normal wear and tear. Most barns will have very clear rules about what behavior is allowed in the arena, and where and how you can turn your horse out. Follow those rules. If you don’t understand why it’s a rule, ask! I am always happy to explain why we need something done a certain way. I don’t make arbitrary rules (see point #1). I am simply doing the best I can to keep you, your horse, my staff, and my facility safe. Horses are destructive and we accept that as part of the job. But responsible owners can really help offset preventable damage.
4. Positive Barn Citizenship
Be a friend, but not a gossip. Ok this is one of the trickiest things to navigate as boarder. Barns and gossip and drama go together like peanut butter and jelly. Your barn owner expects some of this. However, there is a definite difference between friendly gossip (do you know how much they paid for that new horse?!!) and divisive drama (I think the new boarder is a horrible rider and honestly, her horse is lame even though she says he’s not). Your barn owner/trainer do not want to parent, babysit, or have to intervene in drama between boarders. Please, please, please don’t make us do this. It’s embarrassing for everyone and it totally brings down the vibe in the whole barn.
Respect others’ horses and tack – Don’t use stuff that isn’t yours without asking permission. The shortest answer on this list but also the source of SO MUCH DRAMA.
Remember the barn is a shared space. The night before a show doesn’t mean you get to monopolize the wash rack for 2 hours because you got there first. You don’t have private rights to the arena (unless this is an agreement made between you and the barn owner/trainer). The barn is communal space. Share. Play nicely. Remember all the rules from Kindergarten: they still apply.
Everyone takes a turn. The world of horses is such a gamble. It’s up and down all the time. This month your horse is doing great, and next month he’s lame. Uplift everyone. Remind them that they are great, and that their horse is great. When things are hard help them see it won’t last forever. Humans love to engage in the kind of sick sport of believing that if bad things happen to someone else it’s because of actions they took. This can be true, for sure. But honestly, more often than not, there’s enough bad luck to go around. So don’t get on your high horse about how something happened to someone else’s horses because of something they did…chances are, it was just a horse being a horse, and next month it’ll be your turn.
So there you have it. I am sure there are other things that make a good boarder, but these are the top items on my list. If you board horses, I’m curious what your list looks like!
