06/08/2022
Don't get a dog.
You will bring home a puppy, and be up all night with her crying. Not only that, she doesn't know not to p*e in the house. Your kids will be so distracted, you won't be able to get them to do the things they need to do.
Don't get a dog.
First thing you know, you will be talking baby talk to an animal, and getting excited that they are finally not p*eing in the house. You will go to the store and buy all kinds of silly toys for the dog. You will buy a book on dog training, and never take the advice. You will worry about the food you feed them, and if their collar is too small, and if they have had all of their shots. You will start conversations with perfect strangers, that start with "I just got a puppy..."
Don't get a dog.
I am telling you, it will be hard to get stuff done when all you do is throw a ball, take them for walks, post pictures on social media. Your friends will talk about their dog, and you will think unkind thoughts about how your dog is so much better than theirs. Of course, you'll know that your dog is smarter, cuter, sweeter and better behaved, and that isn't polite.
Don't get a dog.
Consider how this will impact vacations, and your budget. You'll look for pet friendly accommodations and plan your trip around your dog. Your kids won't mind, but don't think it will be totally relaxing. Of course, you will run into other dog people and end up in conversation, and it is time consuming. Then there are the home improvements. Fences. Dog doors. Dog beds. Dog blankets. The list is endless, and the repairs and replacement plentiful. Weirdly, you'll find you don't mind.
Don't get a dog.
They will follow you around and stay under your feet. They will look at you with those puppy eyes until you give them a treat. They will lay on your furniture, and climb in your lap and generally be a nuisance. If someone they don't recognize comes around, they will bark like crazy and act like a guard dog. They will want you to pay attention to them 24/7. You cannot escape, even for a minute. They are nosy! You won't be able to open a car door or a grocery sack without them insisting on finding out what is inside.
Don't get a dog.
Because if you don't already have it, you will find religion. You will ponder Who could create such an amazing animal. You will be on your knees begging Him for healing if this dog gets sick or hurt. . You will find yourself thanking God Almighty when your dog recovers. You might find yourself including them in your prayers.
Don't get a dog.
When the dog gets older and slower, you will think they are even better. You will do anything, and purchase anything to make their life easier. You will have the vet on sp*ed dial. You will make all kinds of allowances for this dog. You will get that awful feeling when you consider life without them and tear up thinking about it.
Don't get a dog.
When the day comes that the dog lets you know that it is time to leave you, your heart will literally break. You'll cry and rant and grieve, but you'll make the best decision for them. You will tell them how much you love them and that you will see them again one day. You will hold them one last time and kiss their head and tell them that that they are a good dog. Your house will feel empty and your kids will cry and you will wonder how the time went so darn fast. You will have all those memories and your heart will break even more. It will take a long time to accept that you don't have a doggy shadow, and that the noise you just heard isn't your dog. You will wish for a way to turn back time and do it all over again.
Dont...
Listen to any of this.
Go get a dog.
