09/02/2024
Buddy Sour
By Gaye Derusso
https://www.majesticrider.com/index.html
So, your horse is buddy sour. It happens to the best of them. They live with the same horse, you ride them with the same horse, they are best friends. Now they can't live without them. They are truly bonded because they do everything together and now, they feel if they separate, they won't survive, because their best buddy won't be there.
Some horses are just more prone to it because they have a needy personality. They are not independent and have always been with other horses and or ridden with other horses. Others not as much because they have been alone or ridden alone, and after not dying, they figured out they can actually survive on their own, although most prefer to have a friend.
Now some even though they have been independent and alone, meet that one special horse and they have a fatal attraction towards it. Many times, it’s a gelding and a mare. So romantic until it’s not and they start screaming nonstop when you take them apart. Either one or the other or sometimes both, start losing their minds. The one in the paddock starts running around like a nut job, charging the fence and may even threaten to jump it to get to the other horse. The one you have taken out, might also act nutty and not be able to focus and constantly screaming to the other horse, it might even try to buck or rear to get you off and get back to their friend. Ugh what to do.
Well, it’s not surprising they get buddy sour. Because as I mentioned above, they are with each other all the time and you just come out for a couple hours here and there to take care of them and ride them, but the rest of the time, it is just them. Two buddies looking to get sour. They find comfort with each other, they groom each other, they protect each other and hold each other's hooves when they get scared. Then they become inseparable.
There are many ways to try and deal with this problem, you just have to try and see what works for you. I have many horses that come in buddy sour, but I have much more time than you, since I am at the barn all day. But I can tell you, they all get better with the right program.
If you’re in a boarding stable, the easiest thing to do is separate them. Put them in stalls or paddocks pretty far away from each other. Sure, I know it’s easier to have them close, but being close is the problem. So first you must admit it’s a problem and come up with a plan and that’s to separate them if possible. They have to learn they can survive without their friend. There are other friends around, but being with that one horse is just not good for them mentally because they got so attached.
Once you separate them, they will drive everyone nuts, screaming and yelling to each other, but in time it will become less and less and then stop. You of course will probably still ride together if it’s your other horse or a friend’s horse, but just not stalling them by each other can make a huge difference. When you ride together start to make it more uncomfortable to be together. If in the arena, ride them around separately and if they pull together, then have one canter circles around the other one while it gaits, canter 3 circles one way, do a roll back and canter 3 circles the other way, repeat for 10-20 min then separate them at opposite sides and rest them away from one another. Repeat with the other horse cantering. Anything they hate to do, do it by the other horse, in time if you do it long enough and hard enough, they will realize the other horse is giving them more work and they will want to get away from it and rest.
If your horse hates balloons, put balloons on the other horse and chase the horse that hates balloons. Carry a flag, a bag, a tarp anything they do not like, of course you must be able to ride well, and the horse must be desensitized and safe to do so before you chase the other horse with them. But you get the idea, anything that would make the one horse not want to be by the other horse. Then rest them apart, but anytime they want to be together while you’re riding, you let them get together and then you show them it’s not a good idea. They have to come to the understanding themselves, that their buddy is not a good place to be by, when someone is riding it. It could take 1 time, or it can take 1000 times depending on the horses and how buddy sour they are.
If on trail, if room you can do a similar exercise, or try bending one direction then the other while gaiting or cantering, doing leg yields, shoulder in, haunches in, rollbacks anything you can think of, then separate them slightly and walk and relax, repeat every time they get close together. It will take time and endurance on your part to see it through, but again if you do it right, they will start not wanting to be so close together. When they start behaving and listening then you can start lightening up on the exercises and enjoy the ride but anytime they start getting drawn to each other, you must come up with things to do so they do not want to be by one another.
Now at home, if possible, split the pasture, so they are not together all the time, and take them apart for hours at a time. Then daily, if possible, take them away from each other for a couple of hours. It may be extremely difficult to get the horse to leave the other at home so you might need a trainer or a strong rider but take that horse out on the trail for a couple hours. When you separate the horses, you may worry that the one left may hurt itself and it just might, so it’s best to put it somewhere there is less chance. Like a stall or a round pen with high walls, somewhere too high to jump and too small to get much speed. Bring treats, grain, whatever it likes, or ride out and get off and graze for an hour, so the horse wants to leave the other horse. When you get back, do not feed grain, or treats or graze if possible. And then take the other horse out and repeat. So, in the end they will have 4 hours or more apart.
You can even ride one horse and chase the other horse in the pasture. That's right, ride in their pasture where they think you would never ride them. But chase the other horse, pretend it’s a cow and start maneuvering that horse all over. Then rest apart and repeat as many times as you can. Then switch horses and repeat. It actually can be pretty fun to do.
The more often they are separated the quicker it gets better. If you can't ride, then still separate them, and give them grain or special treats and tie them up away from each other. Turn up the radio so you can't hear them scream and let them stand tied while you do other work for a couple of hours. In time it will get better, but you have to put the work in. If they spend 24/7 together and you take one out once a month and try to ride and it screams and acts up the whole time, you can't blame the horse, you can only blame yourself. If you get mad and sell one of the horses and get another one, even the new horse can become barn sour, because of the conditions you have it living in. So always try to separate the horses daily if possible.
It’s a very hard problem to deal with and happens to so many horses. That’s why it is always a good thing to take the horses out separately. I have seen so many people ponying another horse, or bringing another horse on the trailer to events because they are buddy sour. All that does is make the buddy sour issue worse. You have to go through the bad part to get to the good part. So yes, they have to scream, throw a fit and act a fool for weeks to months to get them to become independent and not worry about that other horse, but if you don't, it will just be worse in another year and harder to fix.
I separate all my horses daily; all get worked alone and with other horses. Some of course get attached and scream and run and paw when their friends leave, but in time they are ok with it, because I don't give in and the other horse in time is happy to leave its friend because they are rewarded.
So, if you have a buddy sour horse, first you have to admit it’s a problem then come up with a plan. Even if you have to rotate horses in different stalls or pastures every couple of weeks, then that’s what you do, so they are always getting a new best buddy and getting away from the old best buddy. Start riding them separately or with different friends. Show them that being ridden together is not always a good thing.
But leaving them together if they are attached and doing nothing about it is emotional bad for them. And if that other horse dies or needs to go to the vet clinic for something, your horse that is home will be unprepared on how to deal with it. The emotional stress it will cause will be harder for that horse then learning slowly over time that its ok if that other horse leaves, because it always comes back.
