07/16/2023
I chose a different path -
There was a time I was practicing upper level movements, and really enjoying it. I felt like a good rider, and that I could accomplish things. I had goals: I wanted medals, I wanted to be respected as a good trainer.
But there was always an inkling of tension in the horses, something that wasn’t quite right, but there was either a bandaid fix, or the horse just wasn’t up to the task. I figured I needed a more talented horse, and soon I came to realize the task couldn’t be done without deep pockets for imported horses or a sponsor. My little horses wouldn’t cut it.
I knew somewhere it wasn’t right. I knew my horses could be at least more comfortable, even if they didn’t show. They were unsound and unhappy, and the way I was riding, though it pained me to admit, was not helping.
Somewhere along the line I knew I needed help with my hoses. It was messy and uncomfortable for a good while- I went from practicing tempis and pirouettes to learning how to sit all over again, how to guide, and walking like a total beginner. I felt like I didn’t know how to ride, and had to be guided out of bad habits for years, with a dutiful teacher who wouldn’t let me resort to pushing and squeezing a horse.
The results were irrefutable- my horses became sound, beautiful, happy. But to the outside eye, nothing exciting was happening: just a bunch of walking around counting steps, learning to move my body differently, teaching a horse to move their body differently.
The work wasn’t fancy, exciting or flashy. I was at an uncomfortable crossroads- dressage clients fired me all the time because they weren’t familiar with this type of work, and it seemed painfully slow and basic to them. Like I once did, they felt they were far ahead of what I had presented.
I still plan to make my way back up the levels, but this time, it will be on the swinging backs of relaxed horses who breathe and are satisfied with their work. Horses who are not compromised and are functional and happy to the level I now know possible.
Other trainers probably thought (and think) I was crazy- they had medals, show scores, and reputations, and here I was walking around, getting necks long and backs swinging. Who was I with nothing to show for my work?
I don’t have any medals. Ive instead dedicated all my time to teaching people how to get along with hirses, to read them and to feel them, to help them move well. I’ve dedicated my time to learning, and unlearning, and mastering tiny details. I’ve dedicated my time to learning how to teach, to make sure I understand how others learn and what they need.
I may not be doing a canter pirouette too often, but I’m feeling a tight horses first deep breath, or a young horses first confident steps, or a terrified students absolute glee at their accomplishments, or watching a young trainers pride blossom.
All I have to show for my work are sound, relaxed, happy horses who finally feel at peace in their bodies, and people who learn to become capable and proud of themselves.
