Gray Cat Counseling

10/29/2021

When you are alone in your company, how does that feel?

What aspects of your personality make you laugh? Feel content?

What aspects feel uncomfortable to sit with?

10/22/2021

One aspect of appreciating ourselves is how we appreciate others. Take some time to think about what you enjoy about the people in your life.

How do you show love to people in your life?

10/15/2021

Allow yourself to take time to connect with the things that bring you contentment. Increasing awareness of what you enjoy will help you get to know and love yourself.

How do you show love for yourself?

10/08/2021

Journaling can be a healthy way to work on improving your relationship with yourself, increasing self esteem, self confidence, and a deeper appreciation of yourself.

What are a few things I enjoy about yourself?

09/30/2021

A variation on the "Butterfly Hug" involves placing your hands on your knees and alternating tapping your fingers on the left, then the right hand. Again, make sure to focus on the sensations you experience!

09/24/2021

Another way to decrease anxiety is by rubbing your arms and allowing that feeling to focus the mind. Rub one at a time to add additional stress relief.

09/17/2021

The "Butterfly Hug" is a technique to use bilateral stimulation to decrease anxiety and improve emotional processing. Cross your hands over your chest, linking your thumbs. Gently tap your hands like a butterfly fluttering and focus on the sensations that motion creates.

09/10/2021

Often we get overwhelmed and overstimulated. One way to slow the mind down is to lay down in a dark room for a little while. This can decrease our heart rate, slow our breathing, and allow us to decompress.

08/30/2021

Listen to one another and tend to the vulnerable emotions being shared. It is easy to get sucked into the cycle of focusing on secondary emotions like anger, but the real healing happens when people feel heard and understood on that vulnerable level.

08/27/2021

There are two main components to a challenging discussion- solving the problem, and healing the emotional injury. Focus on knowing your own emotional state and be open to hearing the other person's pain. Work on reframing complaints into open curiosity about how you can collaboratively find a solution.

08/27/2021

08/23/2021

Making sure you are speaking from your perspective rather than accusing someone else is a positive way to communicate and will reduce unnecessary conflict in a conversation. Rather than saying, "You never want to go out with me," try saying "The last few times I've invited you to spend time with me, you haven't wanted to."

08/20/2021

Here is an article that discusses helpful communication tips for going into a discussion.

The ability to communicate effectively is one of the most useful skills for surviving the modern world.

08/16/2021

Here are a few things to review before having difficult conversations. These rules are healthy guidelines to follow that will help both you and the other person to be kind, open minded, and calm during a discussion. Remember- the goal is to hear one another and to solve the problem while healing any emotional wounds that have already been caused, not to create more damage.

08/13/2021

Once you've identified your primary emotions (such as rejected), you can address what is triggering this emotion. Keep in mind you can do this on your own or with an understanding person. For example, feelings of rejection can be triggered by feeling excluded, forgotten, blamed, or any number of things. Be mindful of what your usual triggers are so you can address them in the conversation. People tend to hear, "I'm feeling sad because when you left me out I felt rejected," a lot easier than they hear "I'm really angry at you because you didn't want me to join."

08/09/2021

Another great tip before having a conversation is to check your anger- anger is a secondary emotion which means there is usually a squishy emotion behind it. Examining and addressing this more vulnerable emotion will help you to stay emotionally engaged in the discussion and will help the other partner understand what you're feeling a little better.

08/06/2021

Before starting a difficult conversation, make sure you know how to best take care of yourself if you begin to feel overwhelmed and need a break from the discussion.

What are some other way you like to hit the pause button and care for yourself?

08/02/2021

It's healthy to keep these ideals in mind when going into any tough conversation, whether it's a romantic or sexual partner, a friend, or family.