01/29/2020
TRAIL RIDING RULES FOR REAL HORSEWOMEN
1) We DO NOT need to show up with our hair “did”. And Wearing makeup or clean clothes is pointless.
2) Moaning, groaning and complaining about your aches,pains and personal life problems is perfectly acceptable as long as you ride anyway but shall not be repeated by anyone after the ride.
3) Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.
4) We trail ride at a slow walk. We ride to relax, to listen to nature, to slow down our minds, and connect with our horses. If you get a hair sideways and decide you want to gait, trot, or God forbid “run” on ahead without making sure it’s ok with everyone else first, you will find yourself without anyone to ride with next time.
5) Everyone will wait patiently while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment and will offer to help because next time it might be you!
6) When a horse is acting up, we will just accept that it is having a bad hair day - it is not the rider's fault.
7)Wanting to be first, last, or just stop for a second does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is necessary to teach a horse.
8 ) We will take time to discuss the important issues of the day, and information about future horse events or trails that needs passed on. We will NOT discuss anyone not present on the ride or who is cheating on who, OR any other “none of your business” NON relevant information
9) We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and that sometimes, for no reason at all, we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider, the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then laugh but not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.
10)Our horses are not fat, they are "big-boned." “Fluffy” Or “well-fed” and women who need bigger seats on their saddles are just simply “curvy” and have extra gravity to keep them in the saddle.
11)We need to keep this trail riding thing mysterious and strange-sounding. If everyone finds out how much fun it is, it would just mess up everything. (Sarcasm)
12)If we want, we can show up in English bridles and western saddles with a pink pad and lime green halter and purple shirt and yellow helmet-Who cares as long as we are safe, comfy, and riding.
