11/29/2023
As I have been dealing with long term grief syndrome and the events that have forever altered my life, my absence from social media and conversing regularly with anyone except my case manager, counseling services and this j@ck@** of a spouse, it has come to my attention recently that he has been sending crazy bu****it messages to my closest family members and friends indicating that I am not well in the head..... Please know that contrary to his statements, I am completely in my right mind and that I am healing. I am not well in the sense that I want to return the pain and suffering and destroy everything having had any role or responsibility in the arson attack that murdered my furry babies... my bestest friends and companions of 15 years that I miss so very much. I am now beside myself in anger, newly kindled as I have discovered another round of dating/hook-up/p**n/chatting/video apps and history on jackass's phone. My purse got jacked again while under the ever diligent and watchful care of that same jackass. Luckily, my wallet was on me.... but another phone replacement is necessary, much to my chagrin. So, considering the fact that he's still breathing, there has not been any murder or mayhem yet. And since I am not in the current mood to go to prison for one count of homicide, I'm biding my time until justice can be fully served as a six course meal. One jackass isn't worth that time or sentence, but when All is said and done, Insanity might be part of my plea. But that's not going to prevent my mental health at this moment as much as his crazy bu****it messages to my family and friends does. Undue stress or worry should not be your cause of pain and suffering as much as it should him....his previous adventures down crazy lane, the dating p**n game and fighting with me will likely be the death of him and the certain death of a sham of a marriage with a man incapable of being a proper husband, son in law or any part of my actual family. I will add, that my heart's desires is to just crawl into Mommy's lap and cry my eyes out and to hear it was just a bad dream. Hearing her voice brings me to tears because in reality, it's still a nightmare that just never ends with this guy. I don't want to come back to Oregon at his time, unless, it's for the holiday, but why would I want to return to Washington once there, with everything still unresolved, and really liking where I live, but still looking for housing? Revenge is a dish best served cold, but hat six course meal keeps me lingering, hoping, waiting, praying for God's justice to to come. Rescue me, Lord. But don't take me back to a state that has so many bad memories associated with it. You are all loved, missed, and in my thoughts as much as Cooper, Fauna, Whisper and Tyrant are. Take care of each other and continue to pray for me. God bless.