12/14/2024
Quality of life over quantity always!
The mistake of milestones.
During this time of year itâs really important for me to address something that I am seeing a lot and also hearing from people. It is the idea of wanting to wait until after the holiday season or after a particualr day to say goodbye to a beloved old animal. This doesnât just happen during the holiday season - I see it also during birthdays or vacations anything like that, but this time of year it is especially prevalent.
What people need to understand is that disease trajectories, pain, suffering, and decline donât wait or pause for holidays. Hanging on to an animal because itâs a certain time of year or stretching their life to meet a milestone isn't always a good option, and often times is more for us than it is for them. When we set a milestone such as a holiday or event passing as a marker for when we will be ready to say goodbye to an animal, it means we are looking through the lense of wanting more time, not what the quality of that time should be. Quality of life should always come before quantity of life. If you are choosing to not see the pain or struggle an animal is feeling as they deteriorate, simply because you want more time, you are not being fair to them.
Death and age don't wait, and yes that's difficult, but it's also our responsibilty when we bring these animals into our lives. Social constructs are totally foriegn to animals, but suffering an pain aren't. The hard thing to accept is that waiting until after a holiday will not make your grief or loss any harder to bear, it will not make their death any easier. No matter what it is going to be difficult and heartbreaking, but a number on a calendar should not determine that decision. Weighing function, purpose and joy together and ensuring not just a good quality of life, but a good quality of death, is not to be saved until after special occasions. A peaceful, painfree and loving goodbye is one of the greatest gifts you can give your animal, and so is the acceptance of making that decision before they have to endure any longer than they should.
Your dog doesn't have to go through one more Christmas to have had an amazing life with you, or know how loved they are. They will be with you always, whether physically, or in your heart and mind. It's okay to let them go before, and not hold on for you.