MKM Equine Synergy Services LLC

10/31/2024

Every now and then, one of my students comes to me with the wish to make faster progress or with questions about how to make faster progress. While I understand the sentiment, and I do try to give them the best advise I can give, these kinds of talks often leave me contemplating the nature of horsemanship.
I truly believe that when it comes to our horsemanship journey, we are exactly at the point we’re supposed to be at. If we feel like our progress has stalled, it’s for a good reason. And until we haven’t learned what we had to learn, we are not going to make progress.
Besides, progress might not be what we envision it to be. For us, progress could mean being able to show more fancy exercises. But maybe what we are supposed to learn right now is a totally different topic, and that’s why we feel “it’s so slow”.
When we feel the urge for progress, be it because of our personal ambitions or because we want to grow our business, we might visit lots of different clinics and do lots of different online programs. The problem with that is, that all those might have a slightly different approach and we just end up being confused. We might still not close the gaps that we have to close before we can come to a deeper understanding of something.
Going deep with one thing will develop us a lot more quickly than doing everything a little bit.
When we have a genuine wish to develop and to help others, we will be exactly where we should be, work on what we are supposed to work on, gain the isights we are supposed to gain right now, and as teachers, we’ll have the exact amount of student we should have, and our business will be exactly where it’s supposed to be.
When we loose our patience with the learning process and with our organic growth process, I do believe we will experience setbacks and frustration, because we strive to be somewhere where we are not ready to be, or where we’re not even supposed to be.
I do believe that we have to give ourselves fully to this process and have a deep trust that everything turns out the way it should. As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And when we are ready, progress will come. It might not be what we have envisioned. It will be what we needed.
I’m writing this as someone who was frustrated about the lack of progress with my horse Nazir for quite a while. Progress in my mind was piaffe and passage. Something that would impress others. Today I know that’s not what I had to learn from Nazir. At some point, I just gave up wanting to do anything with him. I just let it be. I accepted that I didn’t know enough to be able to train him. That’s when progress came, the moment I let go of the idea of making progress. And it didn’t come in the form of learning fancy dressage exercises. It came as an understanding of the horse’s nature and clarifying what kind of horse trainer I would like to be.
If we are open for what the horses have to teach us, we’ll be amazed at the insights we’ll gather and that they will come seemingly out of nowhere. Suddenly it’s there, a very clear message. Or a learning opportunity that helps us understand what we have to understand.
Heartfelt greetings from Eumundi, Australia.

10/30/2024

Insecurity is not a victimless crime

We often view insecurity as our own personal hang up - feeling sorry for ourselves and small can sometimes even become an identity, our personality that we think of as almost a moral ground to stand on: false humility can drive our lives. Sometimes we marry it and wear it proudly as a badge -
Using this smallness as protection for ourselves from growth and development, and honoring our lives.

But the reality is that insecurity is a personal issue that does affect others in many ways.

It can build walls between us and those who seek to love or connect with us. It can make us lash out when we feel perceived threat, and it can steal our gifts away from others who desperately need them. It steals away our precious life, and in our insecurity we can squander the few days we are promised, choosing uncomfortable comfort instead of facing the task of becoming our best.

We can so easily fear confidence because we confuse it with arrogance - but that could not be further from the truth. The secure person thinks of themselves significantly less than the insecure one. The secure person gathers himself and his gifts to share openly, and has thus freedom to do so because he does not worry about or pity himself. He uses his energy wisely.

It is our duty in this life to rise above the challenges we are faced with : the burdens we are given when young can either bury us, or allow us to become determined. But the more we pity ourselves and make ourselves small, the more we harm others around us, even if we fool ourselves into thinking it’s just us -
And therein lies the trap of insecurity - immense focus on ourselves, instead of the grandeur and beauty of all of life.

10/18/2024

Everyone needs to Read this.

How to train yourself without judgement

It’s no secret that being the best horse person you can be means introspection. That process can be painful, and for many people, it’s easy to get caught into the web of self deprecating thoughts, denial, sadness, defeat and all kinds of other messy stuff. It’s safe to say that most of us either live in a world where we pretend we are already what we want to be, or beat ourselves up about every personal flaw.

I’m no stranger to this discomfort, or being on either side of those extremes. Time with horses and students has given me some insight into how best to train myself, however. Since not everyone has the experience of teaching others, but all of us here have had the experience of dealing with a horse, I’m going to draw parallels for training yourself to horse training.

1- Non Judgmental Awareness
This is very hard, but very important. When I work with a horse, I quickly become aware of what habits are not helping that horse live a happy life, or are creating patterns that prevent them from progressing. At no time do I think this horse is flawed or incapable of learning. The descriptions of their state are not personality flaws; they are descriptions of their current behavior, which is subject to change given time, better handling, and resources.

So is true for your ability. You need to notice what habits aren’t serving you, but don’t mistake that for who you ARE. Maybe you talk too much, have wobbly legs, get distracted. Those are habits totally within your control- they don’t make you a bad rider or bad person- it just is an observation, and given time and effort and attention, they can change.

2- Start Where You Are
When I work with a horse, I try to find what they’re good at or what strengths they have and build from there. Slow moving horse? We might get really good at rhythmic, slow walk steps and halt transitions. Forward horse? So much good energy to put to use!
The same goes for you- what are you good at? Are you energetic, a go getter, somewhat of a busy body? That’s great, pour that energy into things that require high energy, and work to bridge the gap as you develop confidence to learning how to lower your energy and be more calm and present. Are you a calm, slow, quiet sort of a person? Great- so much work with horses benefits from this. As you develop your skills, you can learn to think quickly on your feet, go with the flow more, and learn to bring energy to where it’s needed.

3- Remember that progress is not linear, it’s circular

Working with horses with unfavorable habits or foundations has taught me this lesson over and over again. A horse may look to be getting better, shedding all their old poor habits, and seem magically transformed, only to revert back to how they used to be. All of these phases, if guided by a correct theory of work, can be temporary, and can be a good sign of progress. Experience has taught me that it’s nothing to be alarmed about. Sometimes a horse might try old things as a sort of “last hurrah” before those habits completely kick the bucket. Sometimes when stressed or the addition of new and harder situations arise, the old coping mechanisms come up.
This is simply a time for more support, a return to more basic work and lots of patience.

As you advance in your horsemanship, you may find yourself suddenly back to square one, learning tasks you thought you had already mastered.
This is nothing to worry about-
It’s a great opportunity to refine your basics, to take some good breaths and settle in to the journey. You will continually come back to basics over and over until you underand them and have completely mastered them. After all, advanced work is only the layering of good basics with a fancy little hat on top.

These are just a few things to think about when going through your own learning. Treat yourself like a horse - chances are, you’d never treat a horse the way you treat yourself. You are completely capable of learning anything you want, if you have a productive approach to it.

10/15/2024

09/23/2024

✨️Come see what the horses✨️
✨️have to teach you✨️

Sessions available to those with or without horses, beginners or experienced horsepeople. May or may not include riding, the horses choose what we need to learn.

We provide the horses and equipment for anyone interested, without their own horse.

Trailer your horse here for sessions, nothing is unachievable. We cater to horses' AND humans' confidence building. Problem solving available for horses & humans who are stuck.✨️ Free video consultations! ✨️

https://MKMEquineSynergyServices.as.me/

09/23/2024

You can truly love horses or you can love using them as a sporting tool. But you just cannot do both things together.

Picture source unknown

09/13/2024

If you’re anything like me, there will probably come a time when your awareness will feel like a curse.

You’ll think back almost longingly at the days when you maybe didn’t think twice if your horse turned away from you when you went to catch them, you disregard a little snarkiness during saddling without even considering that it may not fit them because, after all, it’s yours, it’s available and they don’t complain “too” terribly.
You’d throw on whatever bridle you please and swing a leg over in a hurry and go marching off for a few strides before getting to what actually counted, because of course, nothing up until this point was of much relevance.

And then what?
Whatever you wanted.
Your wish was their command.
You’d do your usual routine, not even aware that you have one, but your horse knows how many laps in either direction in which gait is necessary to deem it acceptable.
You’d have a great ride, basing it solely on obedience or promptness.

It was blissful ignorance.
It was “easy”.

And then, either suddenly or slowly, you became more aware.
You’d notice the hard lines on a horse’s face as they got tacked up and how their tail swishes in every transition into the right lead canter.
You’d notice how they would rather leave than stay.
You’d notice that their footfalls sounded different from one another.

And it’s maddening.
It’s harder.
Everything matters.
Is it worth it?

I’d like to think so.

It holds us more accountable, undoubtedly, but a deeper awareness allows us to see the beauty of horses on a fuller spectrum.
Achievements feel more pure, the challenges offer bigger growth.
And, inevitably, the pendulum will swing back to a neutral, less overwhelming place when we learn to stay neutral within ourselves.

So, my rabbit hole companions, I’m just here to encourage you to keep on keepin’ on.
It makes for better horsemen and horsewomen and allows the wisdom of Equus to expand universally.✨

09/05/2024

The ever-so-handsome Kharuso. He's the king of the castle around here.

09/05/2024

"Follow the horse and find Heaven in every step." -Nashon Cook

✨️Come see what the horses✨️
✨️have to teach you✨️

Sessions available to those with or without horses, beginners or experienced horsepeople. May or may not include riding, the horses choose what we need to learn.

We provide the horses and equipment for anyone interested, without their own horse.

Trailer your horse here for sessions, nothing is unachievable. We cater to horses' AND humans' confidence building. Problem solving available for horses & humans who are stuck.✨️ Free video consultations! ✨️

https://MKMEquineSynergyServices.as.me/

09/02/2024

"I am fine!"

"No, you're not."

"No... I am fine."

"I can feel that differently."

"Don't feel me."

"Why. You are literally on my body and next to me. I am always feeling you."

"Because I am holding back the flood of feelings that I have no idea what to do with. If I felt them, I might fall apart"

"Ok. I won't feel you then."

"Excuse me... can you pay attention to me? I am asking you a question nicely. Can you respond to me nicely please?"

"But we just made an agreement. That I disconnect to how you feel, just like you disconnect to how you feel."

"Yes but, don't connect to my feelings. Connect to my actions and commands."

"They are one and the same. That is impossible unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless I detach myself from you. Emotional death."

"Great. I'll have one emotional death please. None of those nasty inconvenient feelings. Let us just do actions please."

"Ok. But I am here, waiting for you."

"What are you waiting for?"

"For you to feel. So that we can communicate with feel."

08/07/2024

The tricky thing about learning not to pull is, few people who are pulling think they are.

As humans, we are hard wired to be handsy. You can think all of the nice things about your hands that you want, but fact is, you probably pull.

I didn’t think I did, until my coaches made me aware, many times, over many years, of how unaware I was of my habits.

Now I work extremely hard to not pull, and have had years of coaching to teach my brain and hands to cooperate, and to give, ride the body, and not micromanage the head of the horse.

But I still pull. I still need coaching on it. I wonder if by the end of my lifetime I will have mastered my hands, but who knows. If I can do it, it will be the masterpiece of my life.

Learning to connect with the horse and provide a feel that guides without pulling, to have awareness of our own bodies as well as the entire horse’s body, might be the hardest task we can take on.
Many of us will learn a little, call ourselves good, and describe our hands as soft, regardless of what they actually do. I know how tempting that is. It isn’t fun to realize how much we pull, but the first step to self mastery is self awareness - and that might be the most unpleasant part of the journey.

08/05/2024

Build the relationship. 🐴

07/17/2024

Ever heard that saying : "A tired horse is a good horse?"
I don't agree with it. If you want to know why, keep reading. If you're dead set on that opinion save yourself the time and frustration of how wrong I am and scroll on by.
Firstly, I am well aware that yawns don't mean fatigue in horses, but are a sign of tension release. The photo of just fit the topic too well not to use.
So why don't I feel tiring a horse is a good tool to "make them behave?".
It relies on a common misconception that energy is a bad thing.
Energy doesn't cause behavioral issues, anxiety does. If there is energy and anxiety, in other words, anxious energy, you will get some short term, extremely limited results by tiring the horse out, but if you don't address the anxiety, every time you tire them out, they get fitter to fight you.
So, wet saddle blankets may work for the horses that resign themselves to defeat ( the broken horses), but this approach is one of the reasons there are so many "problem" horses. We don't actually address the reason for a behavior, or build the horses understanding, we just try ride them through it until they're too tired to argue.
I don't know
about you, but I am the least cooperative son of a gun when I'm tired.
If energy is paired with understanding, cooperation or happiness it's a good thing.
Cooperative energy
Happy energy.
Give me that in buckets, and don't spill a drop.

06/29/2024

We've had some awesome weather for adventures! Thanks to everyone who went on a ride to Norway Ridge with us this week!

06/26/2024

"I do not want to become hardened by a world filled with sharp hands, sharp words, one that is devoid of empathy. I want to shed the calloused layers of my hide, marked up from the cruelties imposed on me by a society that fails to meet the basic freedoms of living. A society, that if calculated from a welfare perspective, is not meeting sufficient expectations.

Instead, I want to create a world where we are liberated. Where needs are met and disordered behaviours dwindle as a result of lowering stress. Where people can be their best selves, instead of trying to fight to quell the anger of the rabid wolf inside them, bitten by the resentment of a world that doesn’t serve them and then set loose to do the same to others. Thus, creating a perpetual cycle of trauma and redirection of toxic behaviours as those affected try to alleviate their frustration." - The Other Side of Horsemanship.

This quote from my book is apt.

I am often asked why I “never post the good examples” of horsemanship and… well…

To be honest, I have tried to scour the libraries of stock images I have access to looking for good photos of healthy, relaxed and happy horses in work.

It is next to impossible to find examples that do not depict horses in varying degrees of stress, many of the photos show horses in high states of stress.

It is so common that we have become desensitized to it.

It doesn’t even stop at the horse world — even as mental illness rates climb amongst humans, so many are shrugging off need for change. So many are pretending that the rate of illness and distress we see isn’t an indicator of an insidiously sick society that is in need of mass overhaul.

We are apathetic and tune it out.

How can we fix an issue people don’t want to admit exists?

It’s all around us, & for those of us who do see it for what it is, it is suffocating & at times unbearable to cope with.

The “good” examples aren’t potent enough to serve as an antidote for mass sickness. They don’t cancel it out.

The pain, discomfort & stress is too rampant to be shrugged off with good examples.

It instead needs to be acknowledged and healed. Not swept under the rug. Not forgotten at the expense of many.

Join the horse welfare movement by signing the petition here: http://linktr.ee/allianceforhorsewelfare

You can also check out my new book here: http://MilestoneEquestrian.ca/my-book