12/04/2023
Thank you God/Source/Highest Power for waking me and my loved ones up today, for I am truly grateful. I'm not gonna lie, ever since my spiritual awakening during this same time in 2021, my faith in you has been shaky and has had it's ups and downs. Nobody told me how going through this I'd be force to have to battle my demons of being insecure, of loneliness, of being neglected, of being a failure, of disrespect, for being sorry. I could've and would've handled things differently if I was the old me, so much differently. But, the feelings of change allowed me to give myself a pat on my own back. Always needing the feeling of acknowledgement for the things I do, just someone to notice something, would always led to the feeling of unappreciation. It made me a bitter individual. I started to dislike everyone, always snappy, always tight, never feeling truly loved from those around me, feeling like a total outsider. I was going through the "Dark Night of the Soul" period in this awakening, which signifies a rebirth. My rebirth. Truth is, everybody got they own thing going on and could GAF less about whatchu goin thru. But then, who am I? That's what I forgot. I forgot who da f*ck I am. I forgot I laughed death in the face like, "Ahh!, u too weak! Ahh-Hah!", without the faith. Ain't nobody gone do for you like you gonna do for you, and ain't nobody gone love you like you do. Outside love, not needed, always accepted tho but, I got this. (in Martin's voice) "N u cud be-leed dat!" But I win. I beat you. And I'm sure he gone resurface again, and I got sum for dat. Another truth, if i didn't find my way back with my mustard seed of ole faith having a$$, this could have never happened. You heard my cries, my sorry's, my pity, my hopes, wishes and turned it all to UNBREAKABLE, ENDURABLE STRENGTH! You granted me guidance and wisdom to see and see through things and continue to do so. You told me to pick and choose my battles wisely cuz you got the rest. And overall, I learned at a point in time to NEVER meddle in KARMA and what SHE does, for SHE IS THE BADDEST B***H KNOWN TO MAN AND WOMAN! Now, I be so at peace with myself, I don't even be caring to watch how shawty be f y'all up anymore. I've graduated from pettiness to unbothered. My prayers for insight has been answered. Thank You, Taquan.
