27/12/2025
🖖 good info. 🧁
🧁 THE KITCHEN IS FU**ED: BAKING AND CLEANING FOR THE NEURODIVERGENT SOUL🧁
*Edit: Yes I will make you some cool canister labels so if you're just finding me now, stick around*
Oh no, I say to myself after baking, sometimes.
I have let a Mess build up.
Let's be real. Folks who regularly haunt kitchens ALL know that a core principle is cleanliness, and the best way to keep your kitchen clean is to clean as you go.
A lot of videos I've posted of myself baking have included something of a signature line for me, towards the middle.
"Clean your s**t up a little bit."
But what happens when you HAVE ADHD, AND YOU'RE 2/3 OR 3/4 OF THE WAY THROUGH THE RECIPE AND YOU'RE FU***NG TIRED ALREADY
lids get left off for just a minute
spoons get set aside for just one second
Tiny Spills can be cleaned up RIGHT after I finish this next thing
Annoying resealable bags can be closed in just ONE moment
And finally, you put your beautiful creation in the refrigerator. Turn around, view the waste you have laid to your countertops, realize that you have paved the road to hell with stitches in time that you did not save, and say "F**k."
Here's what I do about THAT, and it helps me get my kitchen clean sooner rather than later. Because sometimes I Now it's literally Time to Make Dinner and maybe your kids are fu***ng hungry and screaming about Fortnite or something and you're super overstimulated and The Kitchen is Still F**ked because you were so tired and Why Are We Like This...
.. am I close? 😏
Let me get into it, finally, for F**k's sake.
1. B D S M - AFTERCARE (BAKING DOPE S**T MANIACALLY)
First of all, walk away for a second and get some water and sit down and breathe. (If you are worried about pets possibly finding a vet visit on the counter, cover things with clingwrap or foil first.)
Baking is actually physical labor, even when it's fun, so treat your body like you just labored. You have been focused on your project, maybe hydration slipped by the way side. Maybe you've been at this cake for hours and you haven't eaten anything besides taste testing sugary s**t to make sure it's perfect. Some protein will be extremely healing, and all of this is setting you up,
Not to be so suddenly powerful that you absolutely blitz through cleaning the kitchen at superhuman strength,
But these things help your brain do one of the things it's meant to do. Regulate your mood. And who the f**k wants to clean the kitchen in A Mood. Not me. F**k that noise.
2. LIGHTS, MUSIC, ACTION: OPTIONALLY ADDED VIBES
Successfully starting your Task engines is a fragile moment for neurodivergent peeps and depending on the individual - when motivation strikes, sometimes stopping to put a show or some music on your phone can be great and helpful, and sometimes even the tiniest pause or interruption in the motivation flow can derail you. It works REALLY well for me. Do whatever works for you in that exact moment where you have risen from the couch and are ready to tackle this. However, let's talk about what exactly you're "tackling", next.
3. THE RULE OF NINES: A COMMON ADHD MANAGEMENT SKILL BLATANTLY REPACKAGED AS SACRED RITUAL
Set a timer for three minutes.
That's it. That's literally the only amount of cleaning you have to do. How reasonable is THAT. Just put things away, screw on lids, put stuff in the sink, for three minutes. Time's up. Wow you're done.
Now set a timer for nine minutes of recess. (or 10 if that is more satisfying for your brain, but look, I'm witch-adjacent, as an Alchemist, and numbers are cool.) (AH, AH, AH) Rest until the timer goes off.
Perform this ritual TWO MORE TIMES. You have cleaned your counters for 9 minutes total, and that doesn't sound like a long time at ALL, but weirdly, it's looking so much better.
So much better even, that you COULD keep timing it out, but as you gaze upon your progress, maybe it seems so much more manageable to sprint for the finish line? Can you do it? Fly fly, my little chickadee, for your confidence in your ability to stay on top of S**t that Sucks has possibly spread it's wings?
4. YOU ARE SO GOOD AND TELL YOURSELF HOW GOOD YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE DONE.
(Exactly what it sounds like)
I hope this helps ANYONE at all in post-bake clarity moment of "F**k: My Kitchen is F**ked."
Hand drawn canister labels. Ta-ta.
