08/16/2024
You are a woman, 35 to 45 years old. You have completed school, got a job and a promotion or two, maybe three. Finally, your life is getting more comfortable. You now have discretionary income. Men at this stage in life often buy a boat. Few women do. Both men and women join a golf club, but you never liked golf. You rode a little as a kid and liked it but never mastered riding. With your bills up to date and with some extra money every month, you decide to ride horses.
Many women of this description came to me to learn how to ride over the years. The results were mixed. Perhaps I can help you with your journey and save you some time with my recommendations. You have made a good decision to ride. Now you need to find the right instructor and the most effective learning environment.
First, even if you can easily afford it, don't buy a horse right away. Purchasing a horse is not like buying a car where they all pretty much operate the same. Horses can be very different, and you must first understand what you want in a horse. Until then ride lesson horses or lease a horse until you know what kind of horse works for you. And please, when you do buy a horse, don't make your decision based on looks. With horses, it's "handsome is as handsome does".
Next, define your goals. What are your priorities? Exercise? Expanding your social life? If you were an athlete as a youth, maybe it's a desire to return to sports. There are many reasons to ride. Understand your reasons so you make the right choices.
Unfortunately, today most opportunities to learn to ride are segregated into disciplines. If you rode as a kid years ago, that was not as true then. There were lesson barns that still taught all-around riding and horsemanship to teach students the fundamentals that prepare them for all kinds of riding or any discipline. If you can find one of these barns, I highly recommend this kind of instruction to start. (not easy to find)
Beginning with the most prevalent opportunities for instruction today, the most common lesson barns today are Hunter Jumper show barns. Maybe you first learned at one of these as a child and enjoyed horse shows. I have to put a warning label on these HJ instructional programs for adults. I have had adult students who wanted to return to showing as an adult and found that most shows were for kids, and that the show experience was no longer interesting to them as adults.
Secondly, show barns never have their students ride outside an arena today, and that cuts off many future possibilities for you. Many adult women want to fox hunt or play polo, and ring riding is not the best basis for these pursuits. Plus, show barns can be very focused on entertaining children with constant costume parties, stall door decorating, horse painting and other "fun" that might drive an adult a little crazy when they go to the barn to ride.
Dressage might look interesting to you. The clothes are stylish, and the riding is not too fast and always on the flat. My advice on dressage instruction is to be careful. Some dressage has become a blend of a maze and a minefield, some of which have become exploitative of horses to the point of normalizing abuse. These are the big money dressage barns and are not for everyone.
Having given my warning, dressage is a good place to start if you can find the right dressage barn. Authentic dressage is centuries old. Its roots are training military riders to ride in the most practical and effective manner. Authentic dressage is the pursuit of unity of balance and movement with a horse. This is the basis of all riding. If you can find this, do it, maybe not forever but to start.
I do have a word of caution when you interview dressage instructors. Some of the best dressage riders and instructors are perfectionists. They don't believe in "close enough". These dressage officianos might have you work on holding your reins correctly for a few months until you long for an opportunity to watch paint dry. Life is too short.
My message for adult riding students is to find an instructor who teaches the basics, who believes in effectiveness and who will make you a safe rider in any circumstances. These instructors might be anywhere, at a polo barn or at a barn focused on some of the new equestrian pursuits like working equitation.
Be sure to explore European instructors who have not been contaminated by the American commercial model of "horsemanship". Or consider western barns even if you rode English as a child. While some western riding instruction is very narrow like Western Pleasure or Reining, many western barns are based in fundamental riding principles, which is what you need.
Lastly, don't demand that a teacher panders to you to make you comfortable and avoids telling you the truth in your lessons. You have a late start, and you need to progress in a steady manner. A demanding coach can shorten your learning process. Good luck!
