A Canine Affinity

08/23/2024

Dogs with separation anxiety deserve to feel SAFE when alone.

Our dogs that struggle with separation related behavior challenges often receive delayed care and treatment simply due to the lack of comprehensive treatment plans available to today’s guardians.

Many guardians take the information found on the internet and use a “throw it at the wall and see what sticks” approach, which at best gives some insight into what works and doesn’t and at worst causes more harm for the dog and despair and hopelessness for the guardian.

These dogs don’t need more obedience.
These dogs don’t don’t need a heavy hand.
These dogs don’t need to just get over it.

Our dogs need a holistic approach that prioritizes the dog’s wellbeing and a focus on what truly matters.

SAFE, lasting, alone time.

I’ve got something exciting coming that I feel will help more guardians understand how to approach separation anxiety recovery.

Follow me here for all of the details and head to my website (www.acanineaffinity.com) to join my mailing list to be notified about the first FREE webinar in my new series coming in September:

S.A.F.E Solutions
Navigating Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety

Does this sound like something you and your dog need?

06/01/2024

Happy to announce that we've begun hosting with Sniffspot in the Atlanta area! Discover the Ultimate Dog Paradise! The perfect place for your furry friend to beat the Georgia summer heat.

Features: Large in ground swimming pool w pet ramp. Digging pit, sensory garden, large grassy fenced in area, access to over 2 acres of trails and a creek!

Discounts and free days for local shelter volunteers and fosters and rescue to bring shelter animals that are in need of decompression and a break from the stressful shelter and rescue environment. Please reach out for more information!

See our listing here:
Or search Peaceful Pooch Paradise in Roswell

04/18/2024

The internet and countless memes tell us the 3-3-3 rule is the “perfect formula” to bringing home a new dog, but it overlooks the nuanced behavioral dynamics of dogs. Unlike computers and iPhones, dogs don't follow formulas. They require individualized attention and understanding during the adjustment process. I know this timeline is well intentioned, I truly mean no disrespect to the amazingly hardworking and dedicated people in shelters and rescues who often use this as a framework to help set adopters up for success, as humans we often run on schedules and dates. By understanding and respecting the dog's behavioral journey through these varied phases, guardians can provide the necessary support and guidance for a successful transition into their new home through a more realistic lens.

What do you think? Let me know what in the comments!

For a more in depth overview check out my new blog post: https://www.acanineaffinity.com/blog/rethinking-the-3-3-3-rule-when-bringing-home-a-new-dog

03/16/2024

Strength lies in choice. Empowering our dogs with options amplifies their voices and builds resilience. Through evidence-based methods we see the profound impact of granting dogs autonomy. Time and again we experience the power of providing choice to our dogs in simple ways. Choosing a direction on a walk, selecting a toy for a game, opting in and out of social interactions. These simple acts yet are consistently countered by harmful training advice of forcing dogs to lay in a place for hours or being punished for sniffing a blade of grass without permission as a way to ensure a “well balanced” dog.

Let's champion choice, it fosters confidence, strengthens bonds, and unlocks boundless potential

Providing our dogs with choices offers numerous benefits, including:

* Enhanced Communication: Allowing dogs to make choices encourages them to communicate their preferences and needs more effectively, fostering a deeper understanding between the dog and guardian.
* Increased Confidence: Making choices empowers dogs, boosting their confidence and sense of control over their environment, which can lead to reduced anxiety and stress.
* Improved Problem-Solving Skills: Decision-making engages a dog's cognitive abilities, promoting mental stimulation and the development of problem-solving skills.

I've shared numerous posts on providing dogs with more choice and agency, offering various ideas and insights in several posts and reels on my page!

Don't forget to follow and explore more of my content for further education on this topic.

03/15/2024

Living with a dog that presents with behavior or health challenges can be exhausting and isolating, especially if you are trying to constantly do your best. Dog guardians are inundated with messages about what they should be doing for dogs and choices they should be making. Non stop social comparisons. external input from social media, blogs, podcasts and experts leave dog guardians feeling like they have to do it all all of the time.

While some of this is normal it can become a problem when it interferes with self care and diminishes self confidence and leaves only guilt about not doing enough when that is far from the truth.

Let’s open a dialogue about the challenging feelings that are also completely normal. The more we normalize these feelings of guilt associated with the totally normal need to care for ourselves, often first, the more we can continue to be caring, empathetic, humane guardians to our pets.

Leave a 💜 if you have ever felt guilty about wanting time away from your dog

I’d love to hear more in the comments

03/13/2024

Does it resonate with you to feel like you are the one with from your SA dog? Many of my clients have experienced fear and anxiety around leaving their special needs dogs in the care of others, often due to poor past experiences. I hope to start a dialogue about this reality as well as ways to help the human side of separation anxiety as it takes a very real emotional toll.

Leave a 💜 if you’ve ever felt trapped at home with your dog
Leave a comment if you have ideas or tips for others

Look for more from my new series for confessions of separation anxiety dog guardians. Have one? Feel free to DM to me!

03/12/2024

It happened. Your dog had an over threshold event. Maybe there was an off leash dog that charged, a dog fight in the home, a very stressful vet visit, or your separation anxiety work isn’t going as planned. Take a deep breath, you and your dog will get through it together.

When these exceptionally stressful 'over-threshold' events occur in our dogs, we need to consider all the factors at play. Have you ever heard the phrase, 'when your dog goes over threshold, they can't learn'? I used to say this before understanding the potentially harmful implications of such a statement. Our dogs are constantly learning, and especially during stressful events, they may not be learning what we intended in the moment, but they are undoubtedly acquiring knowledge. This underscores the importance of our actions in the hours, days, and sometimes weeks that follow and with this knowledge it is important to see why avoiding punishment, fear and pain intentionally in our training practices should be a goal we aim for.

Stress is unavoidable in life, this is true, we don’t need to add more intentionally.

How do you help your dogs recover from stressful, over threshold events? I’d love to hear! Drop a comment below ⬇️

12/31/2023

Thank you for being a part of my year. A year full of growth, joy, pain, challenges and hard decisions. A year of so much grief in our world. So many celebrations with dog guardians. So many tears shed. Happy and sad. So many dogs feeling better today about being home alone than they were last year. So many more that need help. Homes. The needs are palpable.

A year in which I was able to help 48 dogs and their families with separation anxiety journeys. Wow. I’m humbled by that number. Truly. These families are so special ❤️

A year in which I was personally challenged emotionally and physically, winning and losing battles with my chronic health issues and learning (often failing) to respect my own boundaries while helping others learn to navigate confusing and often unpredictable challenges with their dogs that can take such a big toll on dog guardians.

I’m looking forward to this new year. There will be change, which is always scary, but my mission to provide safety, compassion and humane treatment to dogs will remain the same. Sometimes the path to help winds and changes. I can’t wait to see how many dogs and families I can continue to help.

I so appreciate all of you. Your dedication to your dogs and being here. I hope you can go into 2024 with curiosity, patience and forgiveness for anything you feel you should have done this year. You made it this far and that’s a lot.

Xoxo - Melissa (Rodger and Moxie)

Image Description: Rodger, a tan dog with a grey muzzle is looking at the camera. One ear is flipped back and he is wearing a red bandanna. His eyes are bright mouth open and seems to be smiling.

12/25/2023

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from A Canine Affinity Dog Training

12/16/2023

Granting our dogs autonomy where possible is a substantial avenue for impacting confidence. The ability to influence day-to-day decisions has been validated as a stress-reduction strategy. Given that we, as caregivers, hold control over various facets of our dogs’ routines, including meals, bathroom breaks, and social interactions, it becomes imperative to provide them opportunities to exercise safe decision-making.

I’ve observed the transformative influence of this approach, particularly on dogs struggling with fear responses and behavior challenges rooted in anxiety. The profound impact on their well-being is undeniable.

As suggested in the post here are some ways to provide agency in our dogs:

- Provide Choice on Walks (heeling for an entire walk is not necessary)
- Multiple safe spaces to choose from in the home
- Give space with human and dog interactions (with known and unknown people)
- Let them pick the games and toys they play with (safely)

Are you currently providing your dog with any of these choices? How has it impacted their behavior or emotional state?

10/28/2023

Determining if the behaviors your dog is displaying when alone are caused by separation anxiety is the most important first step!

As a separation anxiety behavior consultant and expert I help people determine what may or may not be fueling their dogs behavior every day.

Does any of the information here make you feel a certain way?
Does this sound like your dog?
Did you think maybe your dog had separation anxiety and now you don’t?
Do you feel like you need a starting place?

Check out my website for many free resources or to set up a discovery call and we can get started helping you and your dog on the way to comfortable alone time! www.acanineaffinity.com/separationanxiety

10/14/2023

I don’t want to need to keep making posts reminding y’all how detrimental it is to use fear, pain and intimidation when teaching your dogs.

But the voices saying it's the only way are loud (and wrong).

I don’t want to need to continue to tell you that exposing your dog to teaching that relies on behavior suppression to change behavior is not only unnecessary but dangerous, but here we are!

Pass it along. There are so many ways to change behavior. ALL behavior. That don’t include fear, pain, intimidation, corrections and punishment.

I and my colleagues change serious behavior in dogs daily using effective humane strategies.

I’m tired.

10/12/2023

Our dogs use behavior to express emotions and needs. When that behavior is maladaptive it is often in their and our best interest to learn to recognize the signs of suffering and seek further interventions of care. Just like we would never fault someone going to a cardiologist for a heart condition, why do we insist on denying our pets the behavior medications that could help ease suffering?

Years and years of research and experience have proven that the best outcomes for those suffering from severe behavior challenges result from a comprehensive approach that combines behavior modification based in positive reinforcement training combined with (the most appropriate) behavior medications.

When dogs are struggling with behavior challenges such as those, that might be labeled, extreme fear (of people, dogs, environments), anxiety, aggression, phobias and more this is often linked to everything from genetics and epigenetic’s to early socialization and lived experiences, trauma, health, pain and environment. This is more than just behavior.

Please remember that ONLY a licensed veterinarian or vet behaviorist can recommend and prescribe medication of any kind for your dog (or recommend they do not take it). I’m only here to educate on the option and help dispel harmful myths.

08/30/2023

No is a complete sentence.

Advocating for ourselves and our dogs can be scary and uncomfortable. There are bigger consequences of not being able to to say no in situations that could lead to possible harm to ourselves and our dogs. Unnecessary stress, possible physical harm and broken trust in you and others that can take time to repair.

We need to learn to say no and understand a long follow up isn’t required. Especially women.

No. Is a complete sentence.

You don’t owe an explanations as to why your dog doesn’t want to meet another on leash. No is good enough, but you can practice one single reason.

No. Not today. Thank you.

You don’t need to explain why the off leash dog approaching yours isn’t welcome, even if “they are friendly”, it isn’t ok, stop saying it is.

No. Get back. Get your dog.

You don’t owe an explanation to the professional who is asking you to do something that makes you or your dog uncomfortable. They owe you one as to why that is a beneficial service to your dog, if they cannot….. you know what to say.

No. I need to stay with my dog for as long as possible for training exercises or vet procedures.

Help me understand why this is what you are recommending?

No. I don’t believe that is beneficial for my dog at this time.

You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. Saying the word “no” when someone asks you to do something, and then not following it up with the “why” feels odd, rude even. The charged space that word leaves behind is often palpable. Learning to say “no” and letting it hang out there all alone in its glory can become a small kind of superpower. Use it. But, also be prepared for the consequences of leaving the space you are in. Finding new professionals, and feeling uncomfortable.

No may be a complete sentence, but it is one your dog cannot always say safely for themselves.

08/23/2023

Burnout in dog training is a common issue. I love my job. I love helping dogs and their guardians learn to communicate more effectively and learn the skills to live lives more confidently together while achieving alone time comfort. But lately, I've been feeling burnt out.

It's not that I don't love my job. It's just that it's been a lot to handle lately. I've been working long hours and as a business owner those hours aren’t always compensated. When clients struggle it is very easy to take personally and I do. I feel every challenge. I hurt with my clients. Their lows are my lows and their highs are my highs.

I know I'm not alone in this. Burnout is a common problem for anyone working in animal care with behavior modification whether you are a professional or dog guardian. It is demanding and the reinforcement level doesn’t always match the outcome.

To all of the amazing dog guardians doing the work:

Thank you for always showing up. I know this work is hard and you can go days or even weeks where it feels like you’ve barely moved the needle of progress. Thank you for never sacrificing your dogs welfare for a quick fix. I will never sacrifice their well being and that can mean we move slowly.

Thank you to all of you out there showing up for your dogs every day. Working through reactivity, separation anxiety, fear, stress, puppyhood - ANYTHING! Thank you. I see you.

Thank you for choosing humane, positive reinforcement based training for your dogs, even though you know it might take just a bit longer, require a bit more research, more effort on your part. We know the results will be worth it.

Let's check in on each other. Recognize that training and behavior modification is hard and it's ok to say it. Be gentle with yourself.

08/11/2023

This article doesn’t mention that AirTags also make a high pitched beeping sound that can cause an aversive response to some dogs as well. Better to purchase a dog specific gps collar or tag for your canine friend if you’re concerned about them being lost!

If you're considering putting an AirTag on your dog's collar, don't — the risks outweigh the rewards.

08/05/2023

In my new blog I discuss enrichment, the definition, and how we can easily apply it to our dogs daily lives to improve undesirable behaviors and meet our dogs intrinsic and natural needs.

In today’s world our canine companions often live pretty relaxed lives. Going from the dog bed to the couch with a short walk or two between and maybe some adventures on a weekend. Often this leads to under stimulation and lack of appropriate physical and mental exercise which can result in less t...

08/01/2023

Desensitization is simple, but it’s not quite easy.

One place many people get caught up is on “pre departure cues” and if I had one piece of advice it would be to just forget they exist at the start of your separation anxiety training journey. Dogs have many associations to items we interact with on a daily basis.

- Shoes can mean a scary absence or a fun walk.
- Keys, a trip in the car to the park, going to the pet sitter or being left alone.
- Grabbing a water bottle might be for a hike together or a trip alone.

What many people don’t realize is that our separation anxiety dogs (and all dogs) are learning and creating associations all of the time. Alarm clock, shower, perfume, coffee maker. hair dryer - these are all pre departure cues for some dogs I’ve worked with. Then there is the walk to the car, the car door, the gravel on the tires, gates closing and more. All triggers for an absence.

The cues themselves are so much less important in the long run than creating safe and predictable foundational associations to alone time and that typically comes from stripping down the extraneous movements and actions and focusing on comfort immediately before and after. Then carefully layering in new triggers in time. The repetition and desensitization will be the same with special consideration for criteria adjustments as you layer in more challenges.

Simple but not easy.

So for now, put away your shoes, stop jangling your keys and focus on your dogs emotional state to just simple alone time. The rest can fall into place more easily once that is established.

Let me know if you have questions in the comments!

If you’re feeling stuck, consider an initial assessment.

My books are closed for intensive clients until September but an assessment is a great place to start!

07/14/2023

Good information to help our pups that might might be a little more concerned in the world.

The most important things to know if you have a fearful dog.

06/18/2023

An emergency vet clinic that is allowing pet parents to stay with their pets from start to finish!

This is near my home and happy to have the resource should it become necessary.

Dr. Sands Meyer says all eight of her licensed veterinarians make sure both the pet and their human feel comfortable. That might mean, a squeamish pet patient is examined on the floor rather than on an exam table.

04/30/2023

For a puppy, going from a breeder where they have never been away from their mom and siblings, or a shelter/rescue where they may have already been alone and under stress, to your home is a big transition. Your new companion will need your help, time and patience to acclimate to new surroundings, learn about their new home and routine and begin to feel secure, safe and develop bonds with you and your family. Part of this routine will probably include you leaving them home alone from time to time. It’s important to note that many puppies experience some degree of difficulty when left alone, especially in the first several weeks to months. It’s not always easy to determine how serious the problem may be when they are so new to your home and family, as a certified separation anxiety trainer I help people navigate this topic with puppies. Unfortunately many people come to me after months or longer of trying to go it alone and waiting for their puppies to just “get over it” or trying lots of other quick fixes.

Here are some suggestions for starting off on your journey to helping acclimate your new companion. These are tips based on my experience and expertise working to help dogs recovery from separation anxiety and are not a one size fits all training plan.

If you have a new puppy and want to start them on the right path or are concerned your puppy might be struggling, lets talk! I can help.

04/14/2023

I get it, caring for a dog with separation anxiety or other behavior challenges isn't easy. Having a dog who is destructive, barks, panics and generally cannot be left alone is HARD. Language matters and reframing your thinking into that of what your dog is experiencing and how we can help can create more empathy and patience.

Whether you are working on your own or with a professional I recommend:

- Setting realistic goals for you and your dog and celebrating along the way

- Be flexible and change course as needed

- Create a village. Friends, family, trainers, vets - anyone who can help you achieve your goals - leave the naysayers behind!

If you've ever wanted to work with me, now is the time! I have openings for initial assessments in the coming weeks and will be opening slots for intensive programs next month.

04/11/2023

Resolving separation anxiety in dogs can be a confusing, emotional, time consuming process, even with the best information available. Don't spend months or longer throwing everything you read on the internet at the wall to see what sticks. This can at best delay the recovery process, and at worst create additional negative associations to alone time in your pup.

With a Separation Anxiety assessment with me you will receive:

*Detailed review of dogs history and training goals

*Expert assessment of current behavior under specific conditions

*Discussion on details of training and behavior plans

*Additional educational training resources

*Training and management recommendations to set you on your path to recovery

*Follow up support and priority access to intensive training programs

These assessments can help the dog guardian who isn't quite sure what they are dealing with yet and need some feedback. Those who might be working through some desensitization but are a little stuck and need feedback on how to progress or even those who have made progress but have a sticky pre departure cue or duration to push through.

This is the starting point for all SA clients who want to work with me intensively, great option to get working while waiting for intensive slots to open.

For more information see my website at https://www.acanineaffinity.com/separation-anxiety

Slots open in April and May. Have questions? Just ask in the comments!

04/07/2023

There is no "one size fits all" advice for separation anxiety, or any behavior change plan. Here is some guidance you can follow to help you avoid some pitfalls and delays in your dogs journey to recovery.

1: See your vet early in the journey to rule out illnesses and pain and get a handle on anything that might be underlying such as allergies, GI issues etc. Physical health affects behavioral health and vice versa.

2: Begin gradual desensitization to departures always working sub threshold and moving at your dogs pace.

3: Meet your dogs needs: This may include physical exercise, mental enrichment, stress reduction, emotional regulation assistance around training, schedule adjustments based on triggers. This element can be the most critical to success and can take lots of adjustments as things progress.

4: Environmental Management: Masking sounds that may cause stress and arousal before, during and after training. Reducing access to visual triggers with curtains, window film, barriers etc.

5: Behavior medication. Last on the list but definitely not a last resort. Speak to your vet or vet behaviorist about how daily or situational medications may help your dogs journey.

Questions? Ask in the comments!

Need help with your journey? Get signed up for a separation anxiety assessment and get expert feedback on your case and how to keep progressing or even just get started. Check out my website at www.acanineaffinity.com

Like, share, save so this can reach more people!

03/18/2023

I talk a lot about what our separation anxiety dogs are feeling. Panic, fear and distress are at the root of the outward behaviors our dogs display when alone, but there are so many behaviors I have seen dogs display over the years that are indicative of stress. Some much more obvious than others, so I wanted to touch base on some of the most common.

*Vocalizing: A dog doesn't need to be wailing for hours to be in distress. Some dogs take breaks, some dogs are more quiet than others.

*Body Language: Small subtle gestures can be all we have to read at times before an over threshold experience. Yawns, lip licks, tail carriage shifts, spine becoming rigid, muscles tensing. Some dogs pant or tremble but it can't be seen unless you look closely. Learn to read dog!

*Destructive escape behavior masked as "naughty" behavior. Crated dogs escaping or digging at bars, pulling blankets in crates, chewing beds, destrying pillows. Digging at doors, windows, trim. This can cause injury at times or just damage, often in an attempt to escape the environment or relieve stress.

*General frantic behavior such as pacing from room to room, window to window. An inability to rest. Self mutilation behaviors like excessive licking to the point of sores, open wounds or more.

Dogs may display one or many of these behaviors and be in distress when alone. There are no "requirements" which is why it's essential to work with a qualified, ethical, professional if you suspect your dog is suffering.

Separation Anxiety is a serious welfare issue in dogs.

I offer many free resources on my website to help educate more about separation anxiety www.acanineaffinity.com

03/11/2023

Check out my new website! Yep its still me, just a new and much needed refresh.

Chock full of free resources for separation anxiety, puppies, body language and more!

Want to work with me? Book your appointments at the link below, or join the waitlist for my intensive separation anxiety services.

https://www.acanineaffinity.com

03/01/2023

Wow! It’s really quite nice, and a good bit of positive reinforcement to be a part of this again! I’ve been nominated as one of the “Best Positive Reinforcement Trainers” through Sniffspot!

As a trainer who focuses on working with dogs with Separation Anxiety through evidence based, humane methods I’ll admit I’d love it if I could help more people learn about me and my colleagues! If you feel as though I’m worthy of a vote, please click the link below and search for my name (Melissa Dallier). You can vote for other amazing trainers as well ☺️

Thanks for your support.

https://www.sniffspot.com/blog/dog-trainers/contest?utm_source=trainer_contest

02/24/2023

Separation Anxiety is not an “over attachment” issue as research has failed to support in more than one study. Dogs with separation anxiety showed no difference in the amount of time they spent in contact with or in proximity to their owners than dogs without separation anxiety . In the same study, 65% of the dogs
without separation anxiety were reported to follow their owners from room to room. So these patterns( following, “velcro dogs”) are not a reliable diagnostic criteria for separation anxiety.

The basis for separation anxiety is that dogs have difficulty coping with being left alone (panic, fear, distress). This is an important distinction because some training protocols recommend ignoring dogs and any behaviors from them designed to promote social contact.
This is a harmful recommendation as it risks damaging important human-animal bonds and produces anxiety and frustration when the dog is
powerless to initiate social interaction, and the guardian is prevented from doing so based on recommendations.

Regardless of the type of fear, it is well documented in many types of learning literature that continued exposure to fear-producing
events significantly interferes with the successfulness learning in humans and animals.

- Give your dog attention freely
- Let them sleep where they are comfortable
- Do not create unnecessary conflict and harm based on unfounded data