09/07/2024
“OK Zak, but why do you always have to call people out and create this tension? 🤬 What’s the point?”
When it comes to creating spaces of growth and inclusion, two concepts often arise: “calling out” and “calling in”.
Both are essential tools for addressing harmful behavior or ideas, but they serve different purposes depending on the situation.
“Calling out” is about publicly addressing harmful words or actions in an effort to halt their negative impact immediately. It’s often necessary when the harm is ongoing, egregious, or when previous efforts to address the issue privately have failed.
Calling out is a way to stand up, create a boundary, and make it clear that certain behaviors or perspectives are not acceptable within a community or professional setting.
“Calling in” is an invitation to a private, hopefully constructive conversation to bring attention to harmful words or behaviors. It’s about nurturing a space where there is a genuine opportunity to educate, correct, and encourage understanding.
Neither calling in nor calling out is about attacking someone’s character; they are about addressing behavior, words, or actions that cause harm.
It’s important to note that calling out and calling in are not mutually exclusive strategies, and both can coexist to create meaningful change.
However, for calling in to be effective, the person being called in has to have demonstrated an openness and commitment to learning and growing in the areas being discussed.
When attempts to call in are unsuccessful, that is often when a call out is necessary in order to try to prevent further harm.
In the dog training community, there is often tension when we speak up — especially when we are seen as “calling out” those perpetuating harmful or outdated practices. Some might label us as firebrands or troublemakers, even when we stick strictly to the topic at hand. But what we’re really doing is holding our industry to the most basic ethical standards.
We are not here to shame; we are here to shine a light. When we call out outdated, harmful practices, it is because the industry lacks regulation, and therefore, the responsibility to safeguard the well-being of dogs and the public falls on us, the trainers and educators.
When methods that cause pain or discomfort continue to be advocated — despite overwhelming evidence against them — public accountability becomes essential.
However, we don’t stop there. We also call in — often privately — those who may have a genuine interest in understanding why and how the field has evolved. Many skilled trainers want to grow and do better when given the right information in a compassionate setting.
This is why we regularly invite dialogue and share free resources to help encourage self education. The aim is always to create a more humane and informed approach that prioritizes the emotional well-being of dogs and thereby a better life for the people who love and live with them.
Calling out does not make us divisive; it makes us principled.
Some of these “call outs” are revealing discomfort in people who are not yet ready to face the reality of what the science shows.
This discomfort often results in “tone policing” as a response - whether the person realizes it or not.
Tone policing is a silencing tactic where someone derails a discussion by critiquing the “emotionality” or tone of the message, instead of the message itself. Basically, focusing on HOW someone says something instead of WHAT they’re saying.
Tone policing suggests that the only productive conversation is a calm conversation, and that all conversations are “debates” with multiple sides presented neutrally (even though some topics do not have two “equal sides”).
I’ll have a great breakdown of tone policing linked at the end of this post too. As stated in that article, “a key part of tone policing is that it allows privileged people to define the terms of a conversation about oppression in order for that conversation to continue.”
Tone policing is a natural response to the discomfort of having your views or actions challenged. It’s a way for a person to try to regain control over a conversation by reframing the speaker as unreasonable or overly emotional (even though in our case, for example, we faithfully stay on topic with our criticisms and make sure to avoid character assassination of individuals).
Even though it’s not always a conscious decision, when we respond to criticism by tone policing our critic, we effectively avoid facing the actual consequences and fallout of our actions, and worse, we often silence those who are actually experiencing or fighting against injustice.
To those who view the tone of our message as contentious: Please remember that it’s a privileged position to dictate the tone of a conversation instead of engaging with its substance.
Our criticisms do not attack individuals; they confront the perpetuation of harmful ideas that no longer serve this field or the dogs we all care for.
It’s about raising the standard and ensuring that every dog is trained with methods that are ethical, evidence-based, effective, and kind.
Sometimes, the truth disrupts our comfort zones. But change isn’t born from comfort — it’s born from challenging the status quo and pushing for progress.
More on calling out vs calling in:https://edib.harvard.edu/files/dib/files/calling_in_and_calling_out_guide_v4.pdf
Here’s a great breakdown of tone policing: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/tone-policing-and-privilege/