Hound and Friends

Hound and Friends Hound and Friends is a dog accessory brand with the option to match with their owners. ♡ Handmade with Love & Gratitude!
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Bow ties, bandanas, pet crystals ♡ handmade Mala 📿

“Happiest of birthday to mama!” - Mister 🐶❤️Thank you all for another beautiful year around the Sun! Wishing you all a M...
04/18/2024

“Happiest of birthday to mama!” - Mister 🐶❤️
Thank you all for another beautiful year around the Sun! Wishing you all a Miraculous Year together!! Mister and I love you all!! 🙏❤️✨🦋🌸

Take 40% off to celebrate, available until the end of this month!! Code BIRTHDAYMIRACLES

I’ve created a birthday registry that’s linked to the page. Thank you so much for considering!! ❤️❤️

PS, used last year’s photo 🙈😂❤️

Happiest of 14th birthday Mister!! 😘 and 11 years of Adoptaversary!! ❤️❤️I love you so much!! 🥹😍❤️ thank you for all the...
01/29/2024

Happiest of 14th birthday Mister!! 😘 and 11 years of Adoptaversary!! ❤️❤️

I love you so much!! 🥹😍❤️ thank you for all the love, joy, adventures, laughters, comfort, and life you’ve brought to me over the years! ❤️ I love how much you love living Life, appreciating the simplest moments, your tenacity of asking for what you want and enjoying all the belly rubs your furry body desires! ❤️ I wish you a healthy and happy life for as long as you’re meant to be here. I appreciate and love you so much!! ❤️❤️

Thank you for this lovely cake!! 🤤🐶

Thank you everyone for your kind prayers for his well being after being attacked by a dog. He’s doing much better and enjoying another wonderful year! 🙏❤️🦋

For his birthday, enjoy 30% off with code MISTERS14TH
Any sales from this has been going to his medical bill and care from the dog attack. Thank you so much for your kind support!! ❤️❤️

Happy Thanksgiving!! 🍁🦃❤️ Mister and I are so grateful for you all. Thank you for your beautiful, loving and supportive ...
11/23/2023

Happy Thanksgiving!! 🍁🦃❤️ Mister and I are so grateful for you all. Thank you for your beautiful, loving and supportive friendship over the years. Enjoy your time with your family & friends. May your heart be full of love, and May your stomach be full of yummies!! 🤗🫶😋

Enjoy 40% off with us! Code BF23. ❤️
Thank you for supporting small businesses! 🙏❤️

Had a great day in Chino Hills with the dog adoption today!! So happy to see dogs going to their fiercer home! 🐶❤️
07/15/2023

Had a great day in Chino Hills with the dog adoption today!! So happy to see dogs going to their fiercer home! 🐶❤️

Happy 4th of July everyone!! ❤️❤️ Mister celebrating in our Captain America’s bandana! Wishing you all a fun and loving ...
07/04/2023

Happy 4th of July everyone!! ❤️❤️ Mister celebrating in our Captain America’s bandana! Wishing you all a fun and loving day!

Happy Memorial Day!! ❤️❤️ thank you all who served and continues to serve! We appreciate you and your family! ❤️❤️Enjoy ...
05/29/2023

Happy Memorial Day!! ❤️❤️ thank you all who served and continues to serve! We appreciate you and your family! ❤️❤️

Enjoy 25% off with code MEMORIAL25 until the 31st!! New bandana prints are being added throughout this week also! ❤️❤️

Day 16 of 16 of LOVEHAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I turn 35 today! Woooo!! ❤️❤️Thank you all so much for your love and for following ...
04/18/2023

Day 16 of 16 of LOVE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I turn 35 today! Woooo!! ❤️❤️
Thank you all so much for your love and for following me on a 16 day journey as I shared over 2 decades of my life. I shared as much as I could and there are still many other details untold. I chose 16 days because of a meaning dear to me. When adding 1+6= 7, and 7 represents completion. To be honest, I didn’t know if I could do 16 days, since I don’t consider myself as a person who could write, plus my grammar issues 😂. There were so many times when I wanted to give up. Especially considering when I get home from work late and would stay up past 2am to write (like earlier this morning again.) Then I would get messages from people that would moved me to tears. So I am complete. Thank you!!

I learned a lot from this. I learned I can return to love from all that had happened. I learned I could have given up but continued going. I also had the opportunity to cry out my sadness and pain. I was a bit shocked when I sweated and had stinky armpit sweat for the first time in years. It’s still a little ongoing and the smell is okay now or I might have gotten used to it. You’ll have to smell me and let me know lol 😂

I understand we may all have a past, and terrible things may have happened to any of us. And it’s okay. What didn’t kill you will only make you stronger. That there are many people out there dealing with similar situations as yours. And that you are surrounded by love. Just look who is around you! ❤️❤️ I love you so much and I wish for all the love, joy and freedom you wish to experience.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

PS. Another thing about me. I became Tina when I was 11 when my parents got the US citizenship. I realized the other part of me has been hiding under this persona. My Vietnamese name that my mom gave me is Quế Anh. I asked her where did she get it. She said she watched the original Mulan movie and Mulan’s name in Vietnamese is Quế Anh. She loved what Mulan represented for her. To her, Mulan represented beauty, courage, and one who can move her nation. My mom gave me this name in hopes of that. Thank you mom for giving me that name and birthing me this day. Thank you dad for creating the other half of me. Thank you to my sister and both my brothers where we get to argue, laugh, and team up on our parents when we wanted to get something 🤣❤️ I love you all so much!! ❤️❤️

PSS. Thank you Mister for putting up with me the last 10 years. Ahaha he was so over it with this selfie! 🤣❤️❤️

Day 15 of 16 of LOVEPLANT MEDICINE:  I was first introduced to plant medicine (mushrooms) in 2017 but I was a hard “NO” ...
04/18/2023

Day 15 of 16 of LOVE
PLANT MEDICINE: I was first introduced to plant medicine (mushrooms) in 2017 but I was a hard “NO” to it. Year 2021 was my most challenging time as I started facing my numbed emotions and unprocessed trauma in my body. I was on a plant journey almost every month that year. My first journey was pleasant because I didn’t focus on myself. I ended up channeling information and helped others process their pain. I was avoiding dealing with my pain. Before going on my second journey with a different group of friends. A friend suggested a CBD/MJ v**e. It was my first time. I was a little concerned what I would let loose considering how controlling I was, in order to hide my secret for so long. I took a puff. The deepest fear inside of me surfaced. I looked at my friends who are married and said, “We just met and you’re both so kind to invite me to your home. I don’t understand why you’re so kind to me when we barely know each other. Are you going to drug me later and r**e me?” One of my worst fear came spilling out of my mouth. The reason why I kept hiding in my room. The reason why I hated loosing control. We talked about my fear when I was sober to clarify the intention when we would journey. It was to heal the sexual trauma. The first journey with them, my mind protected me and my body. When my friend came around and asked me “how are you doing?” The journey me said, “that’s a great question. Maybe you should come back and ask me again.” I didn’t allow them in. I wasn’t ready to process my pain. After that, I journeyed another night, this time, doubling my dosage. I went through what felt like a tunnel of different vibrant lights; seeing, feeling, and connecting. On the outside, I looked like I was laying on a cushion bed. On the inside, the pandora box where I had sealed my heart that day (when I was 10 after hitting Mickey’s head)…it started to open. When my friend came around asking how I was doing, I said, “I feel cold, can you get me more blankets?” She ended up piling 3 more blankets on top of me. Then she came around again and asked, “how are you feeling?” It was such a hard answer in that moment since there were so many emotions surfacing, that I didn’t know what I was feeling. I moved my hair out of my eyes and felt my cheeks were wet. I asked her, “am I crying? Why are there tears on my face?” She replied, “it’s your body processing. It’s been crying all this time. Do you not feel the pain from your body?” I didn't get what she said but I felt even more uncomfortable hearing that. I got colder and asked for more blankets. She said, “no more blankets. We are taking these blankets off you now.” I started to scream and begged to not take the blankets from me. This time, I felt it. The fear. I felt the fear. Tears started to roll off my eyes like a waterfall. I couldn’t control anything anymore. My mind was not there to protect me. She grabbed my hand and put it to my face and said, “Tina!! Feel yourself! You are not cold. Feel yourself. You are sweating so much.” And she’s right, I’ve been drenched in sweat yet why did everything felt so cold. I realized my body remembered everything even if my mind does not. In that moment, I was relieving that night when my clothes were being pulled off. I felt something inside of me wanting to come out. She knew and helped me pull it out. My body jolted to the same position of when the monk was on top of me. As she pulled that out, I screamed “noooooo!” For the first time in my life. The voice that I needed so much as a child. The voice that I abandoned in order to be a good girl. It finally came out.
After that journey, I realized where the pain was trapped in my body. It’s been stuck on my upper right shoulder. I was determined to face the pain and process it. This was the year, I weighed 126 pounds.
I met a different group of friends who I went on journeys with. These friends didn’t know the other friends or my previous journeys. They just knew I wanted to process my sexual trauma. For this journey, I drank the most amount of plant medicine. They tapped into my pain and my body reacted. My body remembered that night when I was fighting to keep my clothes on. My body got into the same position, laying down with my face up. This time, I lost all control. I watched my body moved on its own. My hands flapping around. My legs kicking around. I felt hot tears rolling off my eyes nonstop. I could barely blink to clear my vision. I heard myself screaming and wailing. This went on for over half an hour. I’ve been around people and my dog who have seizures. I wondered is this what it feels like for them to be conscious yet they can only watch their body move on its own without their control? I wondered is this what it feels like to be a child again when we had intense emotions that came out as screaming and crying when we didn’t know the language to express them? Yet the adults in our lives during that time, thought we should know better and that we should have understood the world like they already did. I wondered.
I went on to do other journeys that year to continue to process the pain, sadness, hurt, shame, guilt, blame, and fear. Including the one where I tried committing su***de at age 10 after what happened. But stopped when Mickey came to find me.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

During the Discovering Course in Relating Relationship last year, Tobin White said, “Isn’t it a wonderful thing to fall back in love?”
I realized I’ve spent most of my life avoiding facing this pain. It’s been one of the biggest thing I’ve been dealing with since I first started truly talking about it in my Forum in October 2016. Hearing what Tobin said, I realized I wanted to create a life of love after all that had happened. I thought, “wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing where I could start falling back in love with all of me? With all people? With all of it?” Before meeting the monk. I was free, I love my family, and I love. The love that was there when I was born. I am willing to fall back in love. ❤️

Photo: circa 2021. My friend took this photo to show me what my body considered safety was at that moment. It was to be in a fetal position with layers of blankets while crying. ❤️

Day 14 of 16 of LOVEMIND:  I had always blamed myself for not knowing any better as a child. I thought, “If only I knew ...
04/17/2023

Day 14 of 16 of LOVE
MIND: I had always blamed myself for not knowing any better as a child. I thought, “If only I knew more or better, then the monk wouldn’t had the chance to try to take off my clothes that night.” After that, I made a decision to never let anyone touch me like that ever again without my permission. In order to survive going forward, I came up with a strategy to become really good with memorizing anything really fast. On the outside, I looked smart. On the inside, I had intense fear. I was able to repeat knowledge, replicate products, and recreate what people say, like a perfect China doll. I could do things alone. I didn’t need anyone. I was able to figure out anything and any problems. Until it became a problem. I couldn’t shut off my mind from thinking all the time. I was addicted to solving problems. I attracted problems. I attracted people with problems. I attracted situations with problems. If there were none, I would find problems in people to fix. I needed something or someone to fix. I was addicted to fixing. This was all to avoid facing that I was the actual problem that I needed to fix. Deep inside, I kept wanting to fix the sexual abuse to a time where it never happen. But I couldn’t. My mind tried to fix others to compensate a past I could not change.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

I learned to forgive the monk in my Self Expression Leadership Program when I faced him. This time, I learned to forgive myself in Transforming Yesterday’s Strategy Course when I faced my younger self. Helen Guihooly said, “Would you forgive yourself for what happened? You were a child. You wouldn’t know what was the right thing to do.” I cried and said, “yes.” I realized how exhausted I was constantly trying to figure out the right thing. I was tired of appearing being perfect to cover a past I didn’t want. In meeting her, I discovered acceptance and being present. I accepted my mind. I practiced being present.

Sitting in court, I can hear my thoughts about how the trial should go. I was concerned that I wouldn’t answer the questions perfectly since my lawyers didn’t do a pre-trial or prep me. I returned myself to being accepting and being present. I answered the questions by both lawyers from my heart. I spoke from my heart. I felt from my heart.

Helen also said, “Play full out and expect Miracles.” So I did. Miracles showed up beyond what my mind could even picture. An actual picture showed up with a friend who was in the monk’s bedroom with him laying on his bed and pulling her down into his arms. More people came forward saying they were abused by him. Multiple girls said he finger penetrated and tongue kissed them as children. People I don’t know came forward. More people came forward about other volunteers (who held leadership positions) had abused them as children. Other friends told their stories in court and in front of a judge who could make a difference. The Vietnamese News channel was there everyday and wrote about each trial day to reach older generations for them to understand. (Though some days are missing, and some things in court wasn’t fully disclose in their articles yet.) This is something my culture has been silenced for many generations. It is coming to light now. We are starting to talk about something that we haven’t talk about in public. No longer behind close doors.

I realized, I am not alone. You are not alone. There are so many of us. It is time for our voices to be heard. Our inner child to be seen. Our stories to be expressed. It is time to start singing a new song. A song of love beyond what has happened. It is time. ❤️

Photo: circa 2013 for a photography class. Thank you Tony for helping me with this shot too! ❤️
My mind loves looking at things in different perspectives. This reminds me that we can all be our own heroes. Plus Marilyn said my head’s shadow looks like angel wings. 😂 So we can all be our own angels too. And for each other! ❤️




Day 13 of 16 of LOVEBODY:  The night I woke up to him on top of me affected my body the most. I was in the most vulnerab...
04/16/2023

Day 13 of 16 of LOVE
BODY: The night I woke up to him on top of me affected my body the most. I was in the most vulnerable state…sleeping. I woke up to his panting breathe on my face as I was fighting to keep my pants on. I learned being vulnerable was dangerous down to every cell in my body at age 10. To avoid feeling that kind of fear and terror again. I ate A LOT of anything, especially with sugar to be numb.
During a Yosemite trip with no Wifi or busy work to do. I wasn’t use to doing nothing. Connecting with people or my personal needs felt terrifying. I wasn’t ready to face my fears. Until Rebecka pointed out, “Tina! What are you doing? We just had a big dinner and you’re eating again.” I never had anyone say that to me before as I looked down at my hands that was inside of a chip bag. Or perhaps they did but I wasn’t consciously ready to hear it.

When I started feeling my emotions again after being numbed for so long. I felt anxiety from feeling my own emotions. I realized in reading “Heal Your Body” by Louise Hay, when the body wants to protect you from overwhelming emotions. You can gain weight to numb it out. In 2021, I started testifying for my own depositions and sat in other people’s depositions. I was reliving the nightmares over and over again on each of those meetings. My body clenched. My body jolted. My body shake. My body wanted to protect me. I went from a usual 94 pounds to 126 pounds. The most I’ve ever weighed.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

In ‘Creating Some Nothing’ course, Sandy Robbins said, “It is not a surprise that your body responds the way it does after what happened. It might go away, or it might not. Would you consider to allow, accept, and embrace your body as is?” After I told him how many times I was trying to fix myself and my body for reactivating because I was forcing myself to behave in a calm manner. I realized I was still trying to be a good girl in order to be liked and accepted. In meeting him, I discovered granting being.

Sitting in trial for the first 2 weeks of January 2023 was challenging. My body clenched during the entire time in court. I was in so much pain that Peter gave me some pain patches. I asked my friend to show me pressure points to press in court so I can help relax my body. I was doing deep and slow breathes that were taught in therapy. I was doing all sort of things to fix my body yet again. Then I remembered Sandy’s words. I granted being. I granted my body being. I granted myself being. I realized I could not control how my body responds to certain situations. So I started to observe my body’s reactions. I started giggling whenever I see my hands clenched into lobster claws while sitting at the back of the court room. Totally amazed that my hands can do that without me controlling it. Whenever it happened, I started to say to my body, “Thank you for protecting me. I have a voice now. I can speak up for us.” My body and I connected. I started loosing weight. The other miracle is, Mister also started loosing weight. We both ate the same yet we got our sexy curves back! 🤣🐶❤️ (PS I do miss the bigger bo***es. I wished those could have stay 😂)

PSS: thank you for following along! My body clenched during some of the days as I was writing this 😂. Thank you for letting me practice being vulnerable again. I learned and am still learning to accept my body as is. There’s been much more peace and freedom with it lately. ❤️

Photo 1: circa 2022 when I was healing. I’ve lost more weight since this photo was taken. ❤️ (Thank you Leah from Gibson Goddess for taking this photo!)
Photo 2: circa 2021 when I was in paradise Hawaii. I was learning about crystals and wore any and all the black crystals that I can find for protection and releasing negativity. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I never posted any photos from that day until now. On the bright side, now I know what my body could look like when I get pregnant 😂❤️

What’s next: I’ve been considering to do a bo***ir photoshoot to honor and love my body for all it’s gone through. And for me! ❤️




04/15/2023

Day 12 of 16 of LOVE
HAIR: In my culture, having long hair meant you’re beautiful. I had a different relationship with beauty. I was afraid of beauty. I was afraid of being seen. I was afraid of being caught. As the monk grabbed my arm to pull me into his body for a hug, he would say, “you’re so pretty. I love you so much.” I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t do anything. I just let him do what he wanted as my body hunched and cringed with each of his touch. The only thing I could do in that moment was; I hid under my hair. I hid from him. I had long hair so I wouldn’t feel his breathe on my neck. I had long hair so I can hide underneath it. I had long hair to cover my face. I had long hair as a form of protection. My hair was my shield. As an adult, I had long hair so people can notice it instead of me. I had long hair so people can praise it instead of me. I had long hair so people can talk about it instead of me. I wanted to be unseen. Being unseen meant, I would be safe and he wouldn’t touch me again. My hair was so long that I would sit on it. But the deep fear was still there. I started loosing my hair. So I stopped dying it. I kept loosing my hair. I panicked. So I started cutting it a bit shorter to remove the weight. But my hair kept falling out and my deep fear started to surface.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
I was in my last weekend of the Wisdom Unlimited Course when I got that quote. We were talking about Beauty, Truth and Goodness. I chose Beauty in that moment and started exploring what Beauty meant for me. I started seeing beauty. I started seeing love. I started seeing me.
Right after trial ended on February 21st, I cut my hair short. This time, I did it for me. Previous times, I donated it. I realized in court. I embraced fear. I embraced judgement. I embraced being seen. I embraced love. That’s my beauty!!!
Coming home to short hair, my mom said, “why did you cut your hair so short? You looked better and prettier with longer hair.” I said, “thank you mom. Hair will grow out again. This time, I’ll have long hair because I want to. Besides, I am my own beauty.” ❤️

Photo video: lots of old photos over the years with long hair. Last photo was taken after my hair cut in February. I got so sick after the trial that I was shooting green color boogers out of my nostrils and it bled so there’s a mark on my nose in that photo. ❤️



Day 11 of 16 of LOVEEMOTIONS:   (Note: writing this part about Mickey and remembering that moment. I curled up in a ball...
04/14/2023

Day 11 of 16 of LOVE
EMOTIONS: (Note: writing this part about Mickey and remembering that moment. I curled up in a ball as I cried. It took a few days to come back to finish writing about this. Putting this into words, I let go of my feelings on guilt, shame and another level of pain. Thank you for taking the time to know this part about me.)

I shut off my emotions when I was 10 after what happened. I stopped attending temple. I stopped seeing the monk but I had an explosive of emotions I could not control inside of me. One evening when my first dog, Mickey, was barking. I went to the backyard, grabbed his front legs with my left hand, told him to stop barking but he didn’t. The explosive emotions came out and I went unconscious. With my right hand, I smacked Mickey’s face repeatedly. I stopped with my right hand in mid air when I heard Mickey yelped in pain. I looked at him and I can see tears on his eyes. I looked at my hand. It was red, it was throbbing, and it hurt. I thought, “If I’m hurting this much, Mickey must be hurting more.” As hot tears roll down my eyes. I cried while holding Mickey. The pain came out, “Why me? Why me? Why did it have to me? Wasn’t I a good girl?” I cried harder. When the tears stopped, the emotions stopped. In that moment, I made these life decisions. No one must ever see this side of me. I will never loose control again. I will be a good girl and make everyone happy and laugh. I will stuff this anger, pain and sadness to the deepest part of me and lock it away…I locked up my heart that day and built as many walls as I could so that no one will ever touch that painful part of me. I will never loose control again, because I will never hurt anyone like I did, with Mickey. I was 10 and I was numbed.

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

My first wall came down in the Landmark Forum where I cried in front of 200 people. I knocked down more walls by telling people what happened. There are many times when I couldn’t say anything, only tears would come out. I met Dr. Pat Allen when I was 30. I learned to use emotion words in my communication. I practiced communicating about my feelings with Chris and Quyen on our weekly calls for over a year. Meanwhile, Dr. Pat Allen recommended EMDR to help unlock stuck emotions and learn to process them as an adult. I met with Dr. Vanessa Cardin for EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing). EMDR was one of the hardest thing I did that year. Our first session started with her creating a safe space for whenever the sessions were too intense, I could go to my safe space. She asked me to picture what would that look like. I couldn’t answer so she started giving suggestions. “What about the beach?” I said, “no, I could drown.” Then she suggested, “What about an open grass field?” I said, “no, someone can see me and catch me.” Then she asked, “What’s safe for you now?” I said, “my room, on my bed against a wall facing a door so I can see when someone comes in.” Her replied was a moment of silenced with her eyes wide. I felt shocked hearing myself. Gently, she said, “okay, let’s use that as your safe space now.” And I replied weakly, “okay.”

Dr. Cardin took me back to the first time the monk laid his hands on me. As I relived the moments of him touching me; parts of me started to come out. I cried and my body shake. I didn’t know how deep I stuffed my emotions until I met her. After 4-5 sessions of crying, she said I was still stuck in being a good girl and doing things to please her instead of actually processing my stuck emotions. Since I stopped feeling for so long, I learned to take on other people’s emotions to avoid mine. I was around people who had more anger and more sadness than me. The more those people had those emotions. The more I didn’t have to feel mine. The focus would be on them. Then no one would see me.

After pointing that out, Dr. Cardin said, “today, let’s skip the session. Let’s talk and be friends. Can I be your friend?” Shocked, I said “yes.” She allowed me to talk that day without making it feel like it was a treatment, like I wasn’t wrong for having emotions. We continued to meet weekly until she transferred to a new location. On our last day together, she checked in and asked, “What’s your safe space like now?” I replied, “umm…I’m still on a bed but this time with white dr**es hooked on the sides. So I could be seen a bit. The bed is on the beach. I can hear the ocean waves.” She smiled. And I smiled. She gave me information to her new location which I never went. During that time, trying new things were overwhelming for me. After parting ways, I continued to learn about emotions by connecting with them and expressing them in the moment. Today, I can express them. Sadness, hurt, pain, upsets, happiness, joy, love, and more. I realized it's okay to feel. I understand those moments come and go. I am responsible for my emotions. And I am still learning…

I honored Mickey’s passing by starting Hound and Friends. I wish for people to experience the kind of unconditional love a dog gives. He was the only one I would cry to before going numb. And the only one I could hug as a child. Now, I honor the living. Last year, I changed Hound and Friends to honor Mister who I adopted. I am still committed to spreading a dog’s unconditional love. This time, adding Mister’s message of second chances. Mister is actually a lot more expressive than me. 🤣 My previous roommate, Rita, nicknamed him as “Mister Opportunist” since he would always ask for what he wants until he gets it. When you’re eating, he’ll look into your eyes and hypnotize you with his beady round eyes. When you’re just sitting around, he’ll paw tap you to continue petting him so you’re not just sitting around doing nothing. And so much more. 😂❤️

Photo 1: circa about 2005-2006 in memory of Mickey. He passed in 2009 at age 13. Because of him, I am still alive today. ❤️❤️
Photo 2: I used this chart to identify my emotions and express them in communication when I first met Dr. Pat Allen in 2018.



Day 10 of 16 of LOVECOLORS/CLOTHES:  I used to wear A LOT of black clothing. Other specks of colors would include white,...
04/13/2023

Day 10 of 16 of LOVE
COLORS/CLOTHES: I used to wear A LOT of black clothing. Other specks of colors would include white, and some times grey. How I felt, what I saw, and who I was, internally, was a reflection of those colors. I studied fashion so I knew exactly how to dress and how not to dress. I knew what clothing would give me attention and what wouldn’t give me attention. Whenever I received compliments, I would get so much anxiety. I wore black so I could blend in. I wore black to hid. I wore black so I couldn’t be seen. The more chance of being seen, the more chance of being caught. The world of darkness opened up for me that night when I woke up to the monk on top of me. The lights were off. The light of my world became black.
I remembered in the Introduction Leaders Program, Cecilia and Phong would point out, “Tina. You’re wearing black again.” I thought it was chic and normal, especially since I worked at Club Monaco and was gifted many black color outfits. They added, “you resist wearing color clothing or you make that face when you see color.”

Suffering is a choice…and…I choose LOVE ❤️

Realizing that. I started learning about the feminine and masculine communication from Dr. Pat Allen. I also saw her to heal my child sexual abuse. After a year of seeing her, I saw my ex-boyfriend (who was 28 years older) at the Year End Vacation Course. He said, “Wow. You changed. You used to look like a boy on our dates.” 😂 We laughed! Thanks to Dr. Pat Allen, she also recommended EMDR which I’ll share more about tomorrow. Before all of this happened, I used to love colors so much. During rainy school days, I used to play with colorful shapes that I put into patterns. Later on, I was told the patterns I made were call mandalas. Now, I get to express my love for colors through making mala 📿 and pet bandanas. I love the joy, the light in people’s eyes, and their vibrant smiles when they look at my creations. I love that I can share my internal world through my products with them. ❤️

PS. Thank YOU to so many of you who supported me by getting pet bandanas and/or mala 📿! Thank you thank you thank you!! And yes, I wear colors now! I still love black, and it’s from a place of freedom. Recently, I have this thing for glitters and sparkles lol ❤️❤️

Photo: circa 2014 (I was 26!) when I made this dress in color black 😂 I made sure to add pockets so I can put my snacks in there. I was uncomfortable with the compliments so I hid, by doing my friend’s flowers and dr**es (in the back). I quickly swap into this dress right before the reception started to avoid as much compliments as I could 😂. Now, I welcomed the compliments (and some times, I cry when I receive them). ❤️



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Santa Ana, CA
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