08/15/2021
A while back, I decided I was ready to get a wild mustang off the range and gentle it using no tools: no ropes, halter/lead, whips, etc. But how? How was I going to retrain and work past hundreds of years of genetic memory and nature's programmed survival responses (fight, flight, freeze)? Well, it's not easy... The key is working WITH them. You MUST speak their language if you're going to get anywhere without tools.
So my journey with her began with me. I had to be as present and aware (of everything) as possible. What am I feeling today? What am I thinking about? What am I intentionally and unintentionally communicating to her?
Then, her. What's going on with her? Where is her mind? What is she looking at? How is she responding to me? Where and when is she standing still?
On top of that, I then had communicate with her effectively and intentionally. I had to choose when/where to put my body, when to look directly at her, when to turn and walk away from her. At first, I retreated for her looking at me. This built our first "tool". She could look toward me to cue me to walk back & away from her, and I could use it to gauge her comfort level. I made her a promise that I continue to hold to; I will never ignore her body language & barge past her boundaries.
She began taking steps towards me, started choosing to engage with me. Then I started trying to touch her. At first, every time she looked at me when I walked toward her "personal space bubble", I would back off. Then, after consistently managing that, I began to push just a little bit. "I see you are looking at me, cuing me to leave, but what if I just linger here for a bit longer?" With tiny approximation after tiny approximation, I began to get closer and closer.
I started getting a feel for what her signals looked like:🚦
✅ Green light: head low, closed or blinking eyes, leg cocked, even breath, licking & chewing (parasympathetic nervous system)
⚠️ Yellow light: head raised, body tension, eyes wide open, lip twitching, turning head slightly away
❌ Red light: this is the loudest body language, when fight, flight, or freeze is activated as a last resort for survival
I never pushed her to the Red light. Whenever she gave me Yellow, I would stop and wait, sometimes even retreat to give her the space she was asking for. My doing this fundamentally impacted our relationship; she started to TRUST me.
Then she let me touch her.