11/01/2025
A horse who is in a rush can’t learn.
Nothing a horse learns while hurrying will be reliable, or honest. Only a relaxed horse can be worked in the direction of all good horsemanship, back to front, honestly forward. When a horse rushes, my first job is to help him find relaxation — in his mind, in his back, in his movement. It’s the foundation everything else rests on. There is no other way.
My horses used to rush a lot. Looking back on it, I realize this often was my fault. I used to make my horses rush. Partly, I did this in a misguided effort to create what dressage judges wanted to see. “Needs more energy!” was a a recurring theme on my test sheets. I did not know then that not all energy is the right kind of energy — the kind rooted in a calm mind and an unhurried body.
But mostly, I made my horses hurry because I, too, was always in a hurry. I was caught on the trainer treadmill: not charging enough money for what I did lured me into taking on more horses than I could ride, which, in turn, made me run perpetually behind, feeling like I wasn’t getting enough done, like I was not doing as good a job as other trainers. So I charged even less, and had to take on even more horses. And so on. And on.
I decided to get off that treadmill ten years ago, after a serious case of burnout. I tried to quit, failed miserable, then did the only logical thing: I re-invented my business with less emphasis on competitive results and better alignment with my core values. Rushing is not one of those core values. Quiet, thoughtful work is. I decided to change my ways.
I began slowing down everything I did, whether at the barn or elsewhere: driving, doing the dishes, even talking. I started dabbling in meditation and breathing exercises. I began bringing mindfulness to the barn, one small step at a time.
Now, years later, my barn is not exactly a Zen sanctuary, but I do pause more often. I take time to pet the cat. I pay attention to haltering and leading and picking out hooves, to grooming and saddling. I make an effort to reframe how I think of these activities. I used to consider them chores to get out of the way as quickly as possible, so I could ride. Now, I do them in the here and now, grateful for the chance to tune into the horse’s state of mind and body, to practice relationship skills, to sneak in a little body work, to set ourselves up for a good work session.
Once I do get on, I spend more time at the walk than I used to — at the beginning of every ride, in the middle, and at the end. When something seems difficult for a horse, I stop and think about how to change my approach, rather than repeating the same exercise over and over, hoping it will work once I’ve done it fifty more times. I still work long days, but I don’t try to ride a certain number of horses per day anymore. I still use the training scale of dressage as my guideline, but I don’t try to get horses to a certain level within a certain time frame anymore - or beat myself up when they don’t get there soon enough.
Surprisingly, the horses I work with rush less now. Even more surprisingly, the horses I work with still progress. Many of them progress at a steadier pace than before, because they are not in such a hurry. Ray Hunt was right when he said that, with horses, the slower way is faster.
Old habits die hard. I still rush, especially on days when I feel overwhelmed because my “to ride” list is a mile long, or too many lessons on my calendar.
I still envision my tombstone with the inscription “So many horses, so little time!”
I still get into a hurry. More often than I like to admit I still have to stop, pause, breathe, and resolve to slow down. I’m a work in progress. I will be for the rest of my life. But at least I know what to do when a horse feels in a rush:
Don’t take the bait.
Don’t match or mirror the hurried tempo.
Do slow down.
Good riders are never in a hurry. If your horse is in a hurry, ask yourself: Am I in a hurry?
If the answer is yes, the remedy is simple and effective.
(Photos of Lucy and me, two notorious rush-arounders, learning to slow down together. Stay tuned!)
