http://instagram.com/NotesFromBrock

Notes From Brock, downtown, Santa Rosa, CA (2025)

07/05/2022

LOST: WOMEN’S RIGHTS

Last seen with Supreme Court Justices who stole them:

• Clarence Thomas, who admitted he wants revenge on those who addressed his sexual harassment toward women
• Brett Kavanaugh, who sexual assaulted multiple women
• Neil Gorsuch, who got his job only because the Republican Senate stole it
• Amy Coney Barrett, who is content forcing little girls and women to give birth following r**e and in**st
• Samuel Alito, who wants to force women to give birth even if health issues prevent her or the baby from surviving

If you know the whereabouts of these women’s rights, please contact me at FB.com/NotesFromBrock

07/05/2022

INDEPENDENCE DAY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Ladies and gentlemen:

Many people across the country are celebrating the Independence Day holiday with friends and family at barbeques and pool parties. You may have also heard rumors about some potential loud noises tonight. On the Fourth of July you might assume these noises come from fireworks. This fake news comes from the mainstream media (MSM). If I’ve learned anything from the Nextdoor app, it’s that you can’t believe what seems to be the most logical explanation about disturbing noises. Therefore, when you hear loud noises that sound exactly like fireworks, automatically assume they are gunshots that need to be reported on Nextdoor. Post separately about each noise and ask everyone if they heard them, too. If someone tells you they’re just fireworks, call them a sheep and keep posting. It helps to mention the acronym “MSM” so they know that you know what you’re talking about.

For more helpful public service announcements, follow me at FB.com/NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

07/05/2022

SEEKING VACANT ROOM

I’m looking for a room for an individual who is leaving town soon. I have some specific criteria because it’s important that the arrangement lasts long-term. The most ideal location is the Point San Quentin Village area. I don’t want to be picky, but I would prefer the decor to be a steel bar and concrete wall motif. A shared toilet without privacy is completely fine. Sh*tty, vomit-inducing food is perfect. The ideal roommate is a large, burly male who is exclusively a top. Rental price doesn’t matter since taxpayers will cover it, but it will be well worth the expense.

If you know of an available room that might be a good fit, please contact me at FB.com/NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

07/05/2022

THANK YOU, SUCKA

Hello, how are you? I’m fine, thanks for asking. Thank you for taking the time to stand next to this pole to read this note. While you were reading this, I took a photograph of you through a window on the second floor of a nearby building. I then uploaded the photo to an app that uses facial recognition to identify you before using an internet search to find your street address. I drove across town to your home and entered through a window. I ransacked the whole place in search of any valuables. I found some electronics, but nothing I wanted to keep besides a small sum of money. I didn’t want to leave a trace of the break-in because I didn’t want the cops on my tail, so I put everything back where I found it. I was so dehydrated from moving it, so I got a glass of water in your kitchen. Since my hand was sweaty I accidentally dropped the glass and broke it. To cover my tracks I took a similar glass from your cupboard to Target to see if I could find a replacement. One staffer named Jessica recognized it and took me to the aisle where she last saw them, but they were sold out. I drove to the Target in the next town over and found the set of glasses. I didn’t want to buy the whole set of 6, but they didn’t sell them individually, so I just bought the set using some of the money I found at your place. I took the remaining money to the casino where I tried my luck at Blackjack. After several hands I eventually won back the amount I spent on the glasses and then some. I went home and listed the extra five glasses for sale on Craigslist. Nobody offered to buy them after a while, so I decided to list them for free. I received an email from a man named Paul, who I invited over to pick them up. He was wearing a tattered Bon Jovi t-shirt, which led to a conversation about our favorite and worst concerts we’ve attended. We might hang out later. And get this: he knew Jessica from the first Target! After that I went back to your home, cleaned up the glass, put the new glass and the other one I borrowed back in your cupboard, and even returned the money since I won some extra at the casino. With all of these stops the whole ordeal took longer than I expected, which is why I made this note so long -- keeping you here longer bought me time to put everything back to normal. So if you get home today and don’t see anything out of place, you’ll know everything in this note is legit. Thanks, sucka!

BTW, I think I left my wallet, keys, phone, and left shoe on your nightstand. Please contact me at FB.com/NotesFromBrock to let me know a good time to pick them up.

- Brock

P.S. - I also used your bathroom and didn’t wash my hands before touching the light switch and door k**b. Since you continued reading this all the way through, I had enough time to wash my hands, but instead spent that time adding this P.S.

07/05/2022

NOT ENOUGH THOUGHTS & PRAYERS

Liberals are to blame for these frequent mass shootings throughout the country. While conservative politicians have been offering thoughts and prayers for years to combat shootings, Libs have not been pulling their weight. Libs refuse to offer an adequate number of thoughts and prayers and they waste praying time pursuing gun control legislation that conservatives continue to reject. Vote the Libs out of office! I am leading weekly prayer sessions that you’re welcome to join to help solve the country’s problems. See the prayer schedule at FB.com/NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

P.S. Libs aren’t praying hard enough for lower gas prices either!

11/03/2020

PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO LIKE CHEESECAKE ARE FAKING IT

I believe we landed on the moon. I believe the world is round. I believe Sandy Hook really happened.

But I don’t believe there are really people in the world who like cheesecake.

I just don’t know why they pretend to like it. It might be related to the election. Russia might be behind it. I can’t figure it out, but I do know we need to spread the word:

People who say they like cheesecake are hiding something.

I mean, we have chocolate cake, so I find it offensive to even call cheesecake “cake.” If we called it “cheese dish,” I’d be less suspicious. This is just wrong and we have to do something about it.

Join my coalition to reveal cheesecake eaters at FB.com/NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

11/03/2020

PARTY OVER COUNTRY

THINGS ABOUT TRUMP WE REPUBLICANS DON’T CARE ABOUT:

- Ra**ng, assaulting dozens of women
- Lying tens of thousands of times in office, including discredited conspiracy theories
- Caging children and never returning them to their parents
- Causing thousands additional COVID-19 deaths by creating chaos
- Asking multiple foreign adversaries to interfere in elections
- Voter suppression and undermining democracy
- Obstruction of justice, firing of investigators, and threatening whistleblowers
- Attraction to underage girls and his own daughter
- Operating a fraud university and fraud charity
- Scamming many small businesses and organizations
- Decades of racism and discrimination
- Attacking the First Amendment
- Hurting the environment and endangered species
- Taking money from military to fund wall he claimed Mexico would pay for
- Using the presidency to enrich himself
- Cyberbullying, harassing, and petty name-calling
- Obsessing about ratings and attendance more than welfare of country
- Befriending and worshiping dictators, turning allies into enemies
- Promoting violence against political opponents and critics
- Kicking millions of people off healthcare with no alternative plan
- Disparaging US soldiers and veterans
- Tax Evasion and $1 billion of debt
- Being a repeat adulterer
- Having cognitive impairment

Only because he’s Republican. But what we really need to know is what’s on Hunter Biden’s laptop. Join me in conspiring about what’s on the laptop by visiting FB.com/NotesFromBrock. - Brock

11/03/2020

CELEBRATE 2020

2020 has been a great year and we have so much to be thankful for!

- I have so much free time for hobbies after being laid off.
- We’re getting so much entertainment from binge-watching Netflix.
- I’ve been saving a lot of money with my favorite stores closed.
- I’m losing weight with all my favorite restaurants closed.
- The recent wildfires cleaned up the messy brush in the forests.
- Covid is educating us on the importance of community health.
- President Trump has developed a great relationship with Russia.
- I’ve seen more wonderful online engagement between Republicans and Democrats than ever.
- We get to see democracy in action as we vote today! ‘Merica!

Come join me in celebrating 2020 at FB.com/NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

04/02/2020

MISSING CAT
RETURN DEAD AND ALIVE

My neighbor’s (kitty-corner, not next door) uncle, Erwin Schrödinger, lost his cat last week. Einstein the cat is orange, dead, alive, and fluffy. He likes to hang out in steel chambers and experiment with quantum mechanics theories. If you find him, please reach me online at At Sign NotesFromBrock to return him. Thank you. -- Brock

Pound Sign Bazinga

04/02/2020

REWARD

My enemy is a guy named Steve, an adult re-entry student here at SRJC. A number of years ago while I was teaching at a South Bay college, it looked like my associates and I may have run into a professional problem with this particular student. We talked so much s**t about this do*****ag and enjoyed when others joined in. Because of this, every year or two I canvas and invite anyone here to participate in spreading any unusual or negative campus or neighborhood rumors concerning Steve. I spread my badmouthing in the downtown Fourth St. area.

I am offering a cash reward of $1,202.00 if anyone would like to participate in the s**t talking. In addition, I am offering a 5% off coupon of any hypoallergenic cat food at Petsmart.

Please note: Important: Highlighted: My goal is to leave Earth for the moon or Mars. It is critical that you know this.

You can contact me online at Pound Sign LetsTalkSh*tAboutSteve or Pound Sign NotesFromBrock. -- Brock

04/02/2020

Держи Америку Великой
Трамп 2020

Я полностью американец, и я уверен, что люблю Америку. Трамп, безусловно, лучший президент в истории страны. Барак Обама был худшим. Иисус и настоящие христиане любят Дональда Трампа. Демократы ненавидят Америку. CNN - фальшивая новость и враг народа. Трамп самый честный президент когда-либо. Дональд Трамп любит черных людей. Обама ненавидит их. Дональд Трамп так уважительно относится к женщинам. Хиллари ненавидит их. Обама и Хиллари хотят открыть границы и преступность. Они хотят забрать ваше оружие. Они должны быть заперты. Роберт Мюллер - злой демократ, который провел незаконное расследование. Трамп - патриот осушения болота. Если вы любите Америку, следуйте за мной на FB.com/NotesFromBrock. - Брок Хорошо, Светлана, теперь, когда вы задокументировали это, используйте переводчик Google, чтобы перевести это на английский. Тогда распространите это вокруг Соединенных Штатов. Глупые сторонники Трампа будут думать, что это от одного из них!

04/02/2020

SEEKING QUARANTINE PARTNER

I am looking for a partner to hunker down with for a month of Netflix & Shelter fun --- while continuing social distancing from everyone else. Must be clean of corona- and other viruses, but filthy otherwise is also a must. Having a supply of toilet paper is a plus. I’ll host. If interested, slide into my DMs at At Sign NotesFromBrock.

- Brock

04/30/2018

LADDER LESSONS

Are you having trouble figuring out a ladder? It can be complicated and scary, I know. I can help guide you to "the next step." It's as easy as 1-2-3-4-5-6-5-4-3-2-1. I'm a patient and compassionate teacher with over 104 minutes of experience. My lessons are affordable on any budget. I'll teach you all the latest tips and tricks -- and let's put an end to the "not a step" top step myth. Upon successful completion of the lesson, I will provide a signed certificate of completion. If interested, please contact me via "electronic mail" at facebook.com/NotesFromBrock. -- Brock

P.S. Next month we'll tackle the lustrous pruning shears.

Keywords: ladder, climb, class, lesson, conquer fears, latter, latter-day saints, mormons, rock climb, kevin jorgenson, santa rosa, hashtag, certificate, tourniquet

04/30/2018

WHERE'S WALDO?

Waldo Geraldo Faldo is missing and was last seen in 1997 when he left for culinary school. He was best friends with Eddie Winslow, dated Laura Winslow's best friend Maxine, and has a sister named Quesadilla. He is very dim-witted -- he didn't learn how to walk until age 10. He talks on the phone and wears a shower cap while taking a bubble bath. He has been heard saying "sup" and "no prob, Bob!" If you have any information on the whereabouts of Waldo, please send me "electronic mail" via the world wide web at the uniform resource locator of facebook.com/NotesFromBrock. -- Brock

Pound Sign NotesFromBrock Tag

04/30/2018

ANNOUNCEMENT:

I WENT TO THE GYM YESTERDAY

I just wanted to let everyone know since I forgot to post about it yesterday. I have to make sure I get credit for attending. It would be a waste to spend an hour working at the gym if nobody even knew about it. I haven't decided yet if I "crushed" my workout, like many of my Facebook friends do, or if I merely carried out the workout. I'm still gathering information on the criteria for crushing a workout.

I also plan on going to the gym next Thursday, in case I forget to check in or take a selfie in front of the mirror showing off my b***y growth. If you would like to follow along with my future gym visits, go ahead and "LIKE" my very own page at facebook.com/NotesFromBrock. -- Brock

pound sign NotesFromBrock

11/11/2017

CORRECTION:

The love in the air CANNOT be compared to the thickness of the smoke because they do not have the same units of measure.

Love is an internal feeling of deep affection in your brain that cannot be quantitatively measured while the density of smoke is measured by the concentration of carbon particulate matter as a ratio to oxygen. Therefore, one cannot reasonably conclude that love is thicker than smoke.

I apologize for the misleading notes that stated otherwise. Using a new term I made up, I have deemed those notes: FAKE NEWS

Pound Sign NotesFromBrock

05/13/2017

IRON MAN COMING TO SANTA ROSA

I heard Iron Man is coming to Santa Rosa this Saturday, May 13, so I am looking for people to join me in meeting him.

I don't want anyone who gets starstruck because I don't want you to scare away Robert Downey, Jr. before I get his autograph.

I'm going to dress up as Iron Monger and my neighbor's (kitty-corner, not next door) son is going as War Machine. You can dress up as Pepper Potts, Nick Fury, Whiplash, Black Widow, or Coldblood. Then we can take some cool selfies (where you take a photo of yourSELF, but you can take them as a group, too). We can use this as a rehearsal for Santa Rosa Toy & Comic Con in September. If interested, meet me in Courthouse Square at noon.

P.S. Let's keep Captain America out of this because his story isn't exactly realistic.

Notes From Brock

07/05/2022

07/05/2022

07/05/2022

07/05/2022

07/05/2022

11/03/2020

11/03/2020

11/03/2020

04/02/2020

04/02/2020

04/02/2020

04/02/2020

04/30/2018

04/30/2018

04/30/2018

11/11/2017

05/13/2017

Address

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Share