08/01/2024
If you take anything away from my page, please let it be this - kindness is a strength, not a weakness.
A former manager of mine told me she didn’t trust me to watch the big dogs because I was “too nice.” I was not only shocked, but I felt a terrible sense of shame wash over me. I have a fear of disappointing those around me (I need to work on this…), so I felt like I had failed her, my job, and my dogs. I don’t remember her exact words after that, but she told me that I wasn’t showing enough authority over the dogs or using the aversive tools in the play yard enough. I replayed this conversation in my head, over and over again, desperately trying to understand why being too nice to the dogs was a problem. Thankfully, I never found an answer and I never stopped being nice.
Am I proud of working at that facility? Absolutely not. Do I regret it? Often times, yes. Did it make me a better and kinder dog advocate? 100%. I was an inexperienced young girl trying to find herself amidst a global pandemic, and unfortunately, I ended up taking my first animal care job for a place that did not value the mental well-being of their dogs or employees. I will always feel a little guilty about working there. Nevertheless, that job and those words shaped me into the STRONG, gentle, and compassionate business owner and dog advocate that I am today. Nobody is perfect, I am certainly not, but I believe kindness is the best of humanity.
Even before fully immersing myself into this dog community, I knew that using fear and punishment was not the most effective tool when trying to modify a dog’s behavior. I just wasn’t quite as passionate about it as I am now. Maybe that young girl is finally starting to find herself! Anyway, I just want to remind everyone that being too nice is not to be misconstrued as an insult. It’s a compliment in the highest form. That being said, I encourage you to question the world around you, challenge your mind and the minds of others, and not make those easy everyday assumptions. You don’t know how difficult of a day a dog/human may have had, and it’s not fair to punish them for having big feelings. Big feelings are human and they deserve to be acknowledged. Reacting with anger and punishment is an easy human response. Reacting with patience and understanding takes an unparalleled kind of strength.
I will NEVER apologize for being too nice. I truly believe that positive reinforcement trainers/users have found the most powerful tool of all… kindness. If people’s #1 complaint about this type of training is that we are “too nice,” then I’m right where I am supposed to be. Don’t let our kindness, joy, and big smiles fool you, we are stronger than ever.
Be kind 💜