09/22/2025
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"One of my favorite quotes is, βRiders donβt make mistakes, mistakes make equestrians!β Mistakes make us bigger, bolder, brighter, and braverβ¦ but only if we have the courage to own, accept, and learn from them. Coping with mistakes, mishaps, missed opportunities, and messing-up is, however, is a common struggle shared by many riders. Even though weβve all been told that mistakes are learning opportunities, not missed opportunities (which they are!) itβs often much easier for us to define ourselves by the mistakes that we make rather than by the effort that we made.
One of the most empowering skills any rider can develop β on or off their horse β is to learn to admit, accept, and advance from their mistakes. Itβs been said that your last mistake is your best teacher, but you canβt learn from your teacher if you donβt go to class (or if you go to class but donβt listen to them. The same thing happens in riding. If you make a mistake but donβt accept it (i.e. you blame it on the judge, wind, rain, or horse) itβs like going to school but not listening to your teachers.
Developing the ability to own and accept mistakes (and more importantly, learn from them) often requires the use of a technique called reframing, which occurs when we learn to view (reframe) negative events in a positive way. While reframing can be a bit tricky in the beginning, itβs absolutely necessary if you ever hope to admit, accept, and advance from your mistakes. For example, instead of feeling disappointed or discouraged because you got disqualified, you reframe it into a learning opportunity by identifying what caused it so that you can avoid letting it happen again in the future. When you have the courage to do this, you can effectively change the negative into a positive and can now learn from the experience.
Believe it or not, one mandatory sub-skill when it comes to reframing is curiosityβ¦ learning to ask self-directed questions when feelings of disappointment or defeat arise. βWhat caused me to make this mistake?β or βWhat did I learn from it?β are examples of how positively directed questions can lead to productive answers that can ultimately create a plan for improved future efforts.
In addition to learning to cope with mistakes, reframing can also be used to change a potentially stressful or fearful event into one that feels more manageable and less threatening (like when a nervous public speaker imagines her audience in their underwear). Changing what the stressor means to you (by reframing it as something else) changes how our brain views the challenge, how it responds to it, and ultimately how you cope with it. Two recent examples of reframing that I witnessed were when a rider stopped worrying about a scary fence by calling it βthe big purple thing with the flowered sticky-thing poking out.β and when another rider imagined the judge as a good friend giving her tips and helpful hints.
Regardless of the challenging situation β mistake or otherwise β it can almost always be reframed into something positiveβ¦but itβs up to you to find what that something is. So the next time you get stuck in a rut, make a mistake, or finish poorly, always remember what Einstein said, βIn the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunityβ but only if you have the courage to reframe the difficulty as an opportunity!"
π Save this article and read more by Daniel Stewart at https://www.theplaidhorse.com/2021/03/19/daniel-stewart-admit-accept-and-advance/
πΈ Β© Chelsea Lothrop Photography
