Agape Dressage

11/26/2024

How we talk about ourselves MATTERS

A few weeks ago, I had a student, who has her USDF Bronze Medal, has competed in jumping and dressage for decades, has ridden multiple horses during her tenure, and has experienced heartbreak after losing two horses unexpectedly in one year, say to me, “I suck at riding.”

I replied, “You misspelled ‘Stuck.’”

How we talk about ourselves MATTERS. I cannot emphasize this enough. There are multiple studies (I attached a few below) that confirm we can be our worst critic or our biggest cheerleader based on how we talk and think about ourselves.

To say “I suck” gives voice to an inherent character trait that is unchangeable. To say “I’m stuck” is to recognize that one is currently in a location where one does not want to stay, which leads to the ability to create a pathway out.

Our riding journeys are full of peaks and valleys. It is never just a linear, uphill progression. It is ok to be ‘stuck’ in your riding. I generally think of this as being on a plateau. When we first reach a new plateau, we feel accomplished and proud. But if we are on the same plain for a while, it can feel like moving backwards or down into the valleys again. This may or may not be an accurate representation of your riding. Sometimes we do have to go back and work on The Basics, which feels like being held back a grade or repeating Kindergarten. Yet every high level rider will tell you their main focus is the foundational aspects of training rather than schooling the ‘fun stuff.’

The next time you’re labeling yourself in a negative way, pause and reframe what you’re saying. Add in words like can, will, and yet. Refer to yourself in the third person as research has shown that provides near instantaneous emotional self-regulation. Speak to yourself the way you would to a dear friend. All of this will help rewire your neural pathways and allow you to view your strengths and weaknesses in a more positive light. In short, speak life and kindness to yourself the same way you would to others.

https://selfcontrol.psych.lsa.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/KrossJ_Pers_Soc_Psychol2014Self-talk_as_a_regulatory_mechanism_How_you_do_it_matters.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/mental-health-nerd/202111/how-you-talk-to-yourself-matters

Silent Third Person Self-Talk Facilitates Emotion Regulation | Psychology Today

11/21/2024

Recently, I asked a student what 3 Questions she can ask herself while riding in order to assess the level of connection and throughness she and her horse have. She jokingly responded à la Stuart Smalley:

“Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Does my horse like me?”

After I stopped laughing, we discussed the actual questions I use regularly to evaluate my rides.

1. Is the horse forward
2. Is the horse deep (longitudinal suppleness)
3. Is the horse bending (lateral suppleness)

I always check the forward first because, without it, we have nothing. When your horse is forward, in front of your leg, and filling out the space between your seat and hands, you have the foundation for connection.

There are times when you ask these questions and the answer might be ‘no’ to all of them. Sometimes it’s just one thing. Tuning in to which piece is lacking also helps you identify the best correction. Do you need more inside leg to outside rein? Do you need to move the horse’s barrel away from the inside lower leg? Do you have too much contact or not enough? There are multiple reasons why a horse may not have ‘enough’ forward, deep, or bend, and many of those might be related to the specific rider. But these three questions help you get started on diagnosing any problems and help you stay ‘in the moment’ as you ride.

Best of all, when you get in the habit of asking these questions, you’ll definitely be “good enough, smart enough, and your horse will like you.” 😊

(For those of you too young to remember who Stuart Smalley is: https://youtu.be/6ldAQ6Rh5ZI?si=4RqaX4c9dmWNXmH0)

11/20/2024

We love a good series as much as the next person—especially one as dramatic as Yellowstone! But let’s set the record straight about one scene that made us yell “NEIGH-way!” at the screen.

In a recent episode, a horse was given an injection of Banamine (a common anti-inflammatory drug) *in the muscle*. While it might look cool and cowboy-chic on TV, here’s the deal: 🆃🅷🅸🆂 🅸🆂 🅳🅰🅽🅶🅴🆁🅾🆄🆂🅻🆈 🅸🅽🅲🅾🆁🆁🅴🅲🆃 in real life and could land your horse in serious trouble.
What’s the Problem?
Banamine (flunixin meglumine) is a fantastic drug for reducing pain and helping colics *when used correctly*. But when injected into muscle, it can cause clostridial myositis—a rare but life-threatening infection that produces gas in the muscle tissue. This can happen fast, turning what seemed like a harmless injection into a serious emergency.
The TV Drama vs. Real-Life Care
We get it. TV needs action, and waiting for a vet to explain safe medication practices isn’t exactly prime-time material. But in the real world, Banamine should be given orally or as an intravenous (IV) injection—and the IV option is best left to a trained professional (like your friendly neighborhood veterinarian 👋).
The Takeaway
Hollywood may make ranch life look glamorous, but don’t take veterinary advice from fictional cowboys. Always consult your vet before giving any medication, and remember: the health of your animals isn’t worth risking for a shortcut that’s TV-only accurate.
💡 Got questions about horse care? Drop us a message, and we’ll gallop to your rescue (without the TV drama)! 🐎✨

11/15/2024

Heading to my therapist now

11/14/2024

Fantastic article with lots of great insights.

Warwick Schiller made his name as an expert trainer. An enigmatic little horse completely changed his outlook.

11/14/2024

It’s been a good year with this handsome boy!! 🦄 He’s so fun to ride and I’m excited about our future. Thank you, Aida, for letting me ride and compete Trigo. 😘

11/13/2024

“The rider who is not brave enough to invest everything in The Basics will never be anything but mediocre.” ~André Ganc

11/12/2024

In honor of all who’ve served. 🇺🇸

Today we remember all who served, both humans and animals, that gave their lives in order to protect us. 🌹🇬🇧

“When you go home, tell them of us and say, for your tomorrow, we gave our today"

📸 Beautiful drawing by Charlie Mackesy

11/08/2024

Intriguing concept.

Brian Wee always dreamed of making a career of horses but was dissuaded by the financial risk. He grew up riding on the A-circuit with the support of his family, and when it was time to start his career in young adulthood, he put his riding aspirations aside and followed his father’s footsteps int...

11/05/2024

This pair did a THING this weekend—their first Intermediate 1 AND their first score for their USDF Gold Medal!! Sophie is electricity personified and doesn’t always allow her rider to be the lead. Lia has put in overtime to address her struggles and learn how to stay centered physically and mentally in order to best lead Sophie. This, as you know if you’re a horse person, is HARD work. It requires grit, perseverance, patience, and a willingness to leave your comfort zone. I’m not saying all their problems are solved, but huge progress was made. I’m unbelievably proud of them both!! ❤️‍🔥

11/05/2024

Really enjoyable first show weekend with Laura and her young, gentle giant, Ryal. Laura is a recent transplant from the Chicago area and Ryal is still maturing into himself. Some major show anxiety was tackled and they had lovely rides at Training Level with scores to 67%. Ryal was a perfect gentleman, despite the new environment. They are going to continue to improve as he gets stronger and she recognizes how capable she already is. Plus, she’s super fun to be around. We love having her on Team Agape!

11/04/2024

Agape was joined by a dressage newbie this weekend at the ADA Show. Susie switched to Team Dressage a few months ago after 35 years on Team Hunter/Jumper. Her lovely mare, Faeleen, is also making the switch after a career in the Hunter ring. We were told that Fae would need to be lunged, that she would be spicy and opinionated, that we should give her a calming supplement. Instead, she was relaxed and happy the whole weekend, no lunging or Perfect Prep necessary. Susie just came to school and see what a dressage show was all about. She and Fae had super lessons, continuing to improve each day, as they get better in their understanding of connection. Bright future ahead!

11/04/2024

I can’t say enough good things about this lady! Martha has been working so hard on developing her seat, learning how to keep Happy (who is VERY lazy) forward, all while maintaining a soft, elastic connection. This weekend it paid off. They had a beautiful First 3 and ended up the AZ State Reserve Champions in the Adult Amateur division AND they are the State Champions in the AA Freestyle Division with scores up to 69%! Onward and upward on this Dressage journey. 🤎🤎

11/04/2024

This horse holds my 🩷. Trigo was absolutely wonderful all weekend at the ADA Fall Festival and AZ State Championships. We won both of our 2nd level open classes with scores to 69% and we are the new AZ State Reserve Champions at 1st Level Open with a score of 70.4%!! He is the sweetest, kindest horse who tries so hard for the people around him. Aida, thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to show him. 🩶🤍🖤🦄

(I was so busy today I totally forgot to get a picture with him wearing his fancy new ribbon. 🤦🏻‍♀️)