24/09/2023
Such wise words here! Owners have a lot more power than a trainer.
Need help? We can help you to understand your part of the training with your dog! www.lapskc.com
So few owners and trainers fully understand this dynamic. Owners think trainers have magical powers, and trainers are often happy to perpetuate this myth. (“The second the trainer took the leash all the problem behavior simply vanished!”)
While this isn’t always the case, it often is. And while it may seem like magic Jedi skills, more often than not it’s due the combination of the trainer being a novel presence—which causes the dog to be more focused on figuring out the trainer rather than engaging in poor behavior—and the fact the trainer has a neutral association.
Put simply, whatever your presence predicts is the association you’ve built with your dog. For most owners that association is extremely lopsided and unhealthy. You’ve taught your dog that your presence predicts play, affection, freedom, excitement, food, walks/drives—and often very poor behavior, like territoriality, reactivity, possessiveness, brattiness, disrespect, and chaos.
What most owners haven’t done is create a healthy, balanced association. One where you of course predict the good things in life, but also just as equally predict the balancing factors of firm rules, consistent structure, high levels of accountability (a “healthy fear”), and confident leadership when challenging situations arise.
It’s precisely this careful, smart, and selfless balance of what we share with our dogs which either creates a healthy association, or not.
And because almost everyone very easily shares all the fun, self-rewarding stuff, the biggest hack to resetting your toxic relationship is something most will find absolutely unacceptable, unsophisticated, unhealthy, and ultimately undoable…sharing valuable consequences (gasp, punishment!) for poor choices and unhealthy responses.
Why does this create such profound shifts in your dog? Because it starts the process of resetting the association; it starts the process of your dog viewing you in a more balanced fashion, healthy fashion. It starts the process of you becoming a multi-dimensional association. Ultimately, it shares the critical component of your relationship interactions you’ve omitted, which have created this lopsided, toxic dynamic in the first place.
You don’t have to like it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s almost certainly the reason you (as an owner) are stuck, and you (as a trainer) are unable to help your clients to the degree you so deeply desire to be able to.
PS, the amount of times I’ve seen “the lights go on” with a dog after their owner corrects some nonsense for the first in a valuable fashion are countless. For most, if they can step up to this challenge, it’s the beginning of a beautiful, and healthy transformation. For those unable, it means the continuation of all that came before, regardless of training.
