21/02/2023
💕Your Responsibility to your Breeder💕
We talk a lot about what a good breeder is expected to do for you. We require them to health test their breeding cats, guarantee the health and temperament of each kitten, be there for you 24/7 for up to 18 years — longer than most other relationships you are likely to have in your life.
We haven’t really talked about your responsibilities to your breeder.
I have done a lot of thinking. Breeders tend to be very private people. They don’t tell you about the three weeks they spend getting almost no sleep except for quick naps next to the kitten pen because Mother Cat needs some help. Maybe her milk hasn’t come in. Maybe her mothering instincts are a little slow to arrive. Maybe she wants you to show her how to be a mum. Maybe she died. Regardless, those first three weeks with kittens are often more intense than the first three weeks with a human infant.
Feeding six or eight kittens every two hours is exhausting. We haven’t got our mother-in-laws, husbands or best friends here to help us. Struggling kittens count on us to be their ICU nurse. It is no surprise that our maternal (or paternal) instincts go full bore on us, and we bond to these guys for life.
Not everything goes well with every kitten in every litter. Losing a kitten is deeply traumatic. We fight so hard to save them and often can’t. Death is not pretty. Death is graphic. It is not peaceful. It leaves a scar on our soul.
After we get through the first three weeks, we spend nearly every waking moment watching, thinking, analyzing, cuddling, loving and, inevitably, bonding. Could you hold a baby in your lap and not feel anything? Neither can we. By the time your kitten leaves our house, that kitten is as much a part of our heart as it is yours.
Things go wrong. We get that. Best intentions fade through no fault of our own. Maybe a job was lost. Maybe the terms of our rental agreement changed. Maybe someone in our family became sick and needs all our attention. Maybe one of a million things.
Breeders get that. We are people, too. We have lived as much life as you have. We know the world is not a perfect place. We also know that sometimes, despite our best intentions, we mismatched your kitten to you.
Whatever the reason, we know that not every kitten is going to live its full life with the people we placed it with. Divorce, death, gosh. Anything can happen.
But we love our babies (and we love you), and we want to be here to help. If you can no longer keep your cat, please be open and communicative. If your cat has a close relationship with someone else, let us know. That contract you signed with us? The one that guarantees health and our lifetime assistance? That applies to the kitten, no matter who owns him/her.
But more importantly, please be kind to our hearts. If you lost a grandchild — say your son and his wife were divorced and the wife cuts off all communication with you — that would hurt. You would feel sad, lost, a little panicky.
That’s how we feel when we lose track of a kitten.
So, please. Stay in contact with your breeder. Let him or her share in your cat’s joys and frustrations. Let them be a shoulder for you. Let them provide a listening ear and support. And please please please let them know where your cat is, and if you can’t keep it, please let them be involved in any placements that may need to occur.
(Copied from another post)
