11/11/2022
Dogs are afraid/unsure of many things. The fact that they’re afraid/unsure doesn’t mean anything negative has transpired, it simply means they’re… afraid/unsure.
This reaction typically comes from weak genetics (dogs who have been born genetically less resilient and who lean more towards fear/uncertainty in general), and/or lack of familiarity/exposure (dogs who’ve simply not experienced something yet, or haven’t experienced it enough).
We humans love a good story, and we hate the unexplained. We see our dog’s intense reactions to things and construct a storyline which explains these unusual or worrisome reactions. These stories typically make our dogs out to be victims of some nefarious event or person, and make us out to be the saviors.
The gap in our understanding is filled in and we have a story to share with others that garners sympathy and attention. And we’ll continually breathe life into the story, even if it’s based on nothing but imagination, and even if the continuous telling and living of it negatively impacts the dog by making it a victim to be babied and coddled rather than a dog who can improve and overcome.
If we think about who dogs predominantly interact with in shelters, rescues, and foster care, it’s rarely men. Along with that, in general, men tend to also have a more assertive “vibe” about them. If a dog is unfamiliar with men, and/or has weak nerves, it’s fairly easy to understand why they react to men in the unsure fashion they often do. And the blowing bag, or the noisy car, even without the assertive “vibe”, can derail many dogs simply because they’re an unknown.
While I get the attraction of the story, the real question should be: is it helpful to the dog? Is making a dog into a perpetual victim and a perpetual receptacle for pity going to improve their ability to navigate their world? What if instead of the sad story we’ve told ourselves (and others) we tell a story that our dogs are simply who they are and what they are, and are works in progress? What if we prioritized their well-being over our need for certainty and attention?
Said more simply, if you’re telling a sob story about your dog, true or not, that story isn’t for your dog, it’s for you. And it’s the foolish one who is unaware of the power of the stories we tell to create the realities we, and our dogs live.
Tell a better story.