10/10/2024
Update: Pepper and I have worked really hard to get to the point where she feels safe to lay in front of me. My leg legs are the ones in the black pants her mom is further away and she chose to be closer to me. I have reinforced that choice with a ton of treats over the last hour.
It took me a long time to earn that trust and the last thing I want to do, is lose it. Trusting me is a huge part of helping pepper live a more joyful life in our urban environment where vet visits and people are a normal normal thing.
If I had reached out and quietly her back, I would've broken that trust. It is very invasive to touch somebody who has not expressed that they are comfortable with that in your relationship. If she wanted to touch me she would've laid against me, she did not. There is a definite safety zone between us that I would have to cross to pet her.
When a dog wants to be pet they can communicate that by forming their body into a sea shape and putting the curve against your body. So the outside of the curve would be pushed against you. When you choose to pet them in that position, I highly recommend you pet for three seconds and stop and see if they reengage.
It's fairly simple if you think about how you would like to be treated. If I go to somebody and meet with them for an hour or three or four times I may get to the point where I feel comfortable sitting next to them on the couch. If I had never met them before I have probably been sitting with one seat cushion between us or perhaps on the loveseat while they sat on the couch. But once I've gotten more comfortable I might sit on the cushion right next to them . That would not be an invitation to put your hand on my knee. It would not be an invitation to give me a hug. Humans can convey what they would like as far as relationship and touching verbally. With dogs we need to read their body language and the history of our relationship with them is an important contributor to understanding what that language is translating to.
With this particular dog if I had gotten super excited and made noise or movement that also would've destroyed the small amount of trust we have built. It's important to let the dog lead the relationship when we're doing remedial work or behavior modification.
Imagine going to Therapist for the first time or the third or the fourth and you've talked about a few things that you want to work on. At the fourth visit they jump in with "hey let's talk about that issue that caused our ptsd, I know blank happened, I want to hear all about it." that would be incredibly insensitive and invasive on an emotional level. When I'm working with the dog I am looking at three aspects. Where are they mentally? As in what do they want to learn? How engaged are they? Where they at in their ability to process and understand information and move forward? Mentally today we had a huge breakthrough and that I could do hand targets with pepper and she happily jumped in and put nose in my hand. Mentally she was engaged and ready to move forward. I also look at the physical, where this physically and their ability to be near me and do things with me? Today Pepper was willing to walk over my legs and reengage with me over and over even when I toss treats 10 feet away she ran back to repeat the game. She was feeling much more confident with me today. Then I look at the dogs emotions. Is she approaching and retreating? What is her body language telling me? It's very easy to suck a dog in physically by luring with a treat but you can have severe emotional conflict I want this treat really badly, but it's awfully scary to be over here and it's actually making my fear worse.
This is often demonstrated by dogs that are doing what we call sharking. This is when a dog grabs the treats out of your hand almost biting you and sometimes they do get you because they are so anxious or aroused by what's happening.
Our hotdogs were too much for Pepper to work with from an emotional perspective. Physically it looked great because she was running back and re-engaging and re-engaging, if I only looked at the physical and mental I would've thought I was doing a good job because she was willing to work with me and stay close. But the truth was she was sharking because she was experiencing emotional conflict. So we downgraded the value of the treat. We went to a simple Dog biscuit that yes she wants and she was willing to work for but it removed that arousal level that was too high and allowed her to engage and process slowly which put her in a place where she could learn and build trust with me.
There is so much that goes on when we are working on behavior cases. You guys did an awesome job answering the question and I can't say how proud I am of you for taking the time to with me on this question but also for your amazing answers.
Today I received a great compliment.
Pepper chose to lay down by me after our 4th lesson and extensive work with me today.
There is a huge mistake most of us would make in this moment.
Who can guess what it is? Post in comments and I will come back so we can chat about it.