09/10/2025
Many dog owners struggle to teach their dog to "stay". Even when the concept is clearly conveyed, people have a hard time taking the skill to the next level. Let's discuss why "stay" seems to be such a difficult skill to teach.
When we bring home a new dog, no matter their age, the first concept we usually teach is to stay with us. Whether it's through recall, social bonding, feeding time the dog learns they get good things when they are in close proximity to their person. Good things can be food, affection, play, praise, and so on. We build this concept because we want our dog to listen and hold value in our presence. Then we change the rules on them by asking them to be stationary while we move away. This is confusing because they want to be with us, follow us, and be involved with whatever we are doing. It's extra hard when being stationary is not a default behavior for young dogs and energetic breeds. So the first obstacle is that "stay" completely contradicts the primary behavior that has been consistently reinforced. It's a completely new concept.
The second obstacle is doing too much too soon. When teaching a new skill, you can't start at the finish line. If the end goal is for your dog to hold a down stay while you walk fifty feet away, you cannot start with that distance or duration. It must be built up to that level. If the end goal is your dog holding a stay on their bed while you cook dinner, you can't start by ignoring your dog to focus on cooking. You must set your dog up for success by deliberately practicing the behavior.
How do we set ourselves and our dogs up for success when teaching "stay"? Remember the three D's. Distance, duration, and distraction. These three variables should be increased gradually. Start by taking a couple of steps away from your dog for a couple of seconds. As your dog becomes reliable, slowly increase the distance and duration. Then add distractions. Practice the behavior in different environments.
Watch out for these mistakes! You don't need to repeat the command. One verbal command before you walk away is sufficient. Make sure you have your dog's attention when you give them the command. If your dog breaks position, you can tell them "no" to communicate that's not what you want but you just need to return them to position and try again (unless they need to be done with the exercise at that moment). If your dog messes up two times in a row, make it easier. Decrease the distance and/or duration to give them an "easy win". Lastly, you MUST return to your dog to reward them! The number one mistake I observe in this skill is people walking away from their dog and saying "yes good job" when they are a distance away from their dog. Inevitably, the dog hears the marker and returns to their person to receive their reward. Your marker should not be a release! Walk away, return to your dog, THEN mark and reward.
Hopefully, these tips will help you build a reliable "stay" command with your dog. Practice at home and share your progress in the comments!
