09/10/2024
Yes, yes, yes 👏🏻 ⬇️
Trainers, want to know why the dog that does so well with you falls apart with its owner? Owners, want to know why your dog does so well with your trainer but falls apart with you?
Most folks (owners and trainers) assume it’s simply a skills gap issue. And while skills can definitely be a part of the issue, when we see dogs become something completely unhinged with their owners, that’s not a skills gap issue, it’s an association issue. Put simply, it’s what your presence predicts to the dog that creates this wild, crazy, often “out of their tree” behavior.
Think about how your dog acts as you’re pulling up to the dog park, or as you’re preparing their food, or about to go for a walk or car ride, or when guests arrive, or…? Whatever it might be that makes your dog totally nuts. That’s the arousal/excitement that’s generated via the association with the lead up sequence that predicts the desired/exciting event.
Now imagine if there was one person who, all in one, predicted, or was the gateway to all that stuff, and more. What kind of crazy would that elicit?
Here’s the thing. It’s not that you can’t be the predictor of all things good and still have a well behaved dog—you absolutely can, and should! The problems only arise when your association to your dog is ONLY the excitement/arousal inducing stuff and it contains none of the balancing elements of firm discipline, valuable consequences, and an essence of sufficient respect and deference of which you’ve honestly earned by way of being a believable authority figure when it counts.
If you want to have a well behaved dog, and/or stop unwanted behavior issues, your presence HAS to predict both the desired and the undesired, the pleasant and the unpleasant—in equal intensity and in equal availability… as appropriate and as needed. This is how you create a healthy association, and this is how you get what your dog trainer gets… or, how you avoid needing a dog trainer altogether.
Unfortunately, very few people understand this, and even fewer will want to.
