09/06/2024
This is just as true now as when I first shared it years ago. I’d imagine I share it again next year. 🖤
Like many of you, I follow pages that relate to my interests and passions on social media. I use social media to interact with others I don’t see daily, share special moments, to buy and sell various items, promote my business and connect with people and ideas I love. I have spent the last couple days reflecting on comments, posts and shares related to expectation versus reality. I first noticed this trend with the memes that contrasted a popular stereotype with a real photo depicting the daily grind of that stereotype. Following that, I begun to see more detailed memes, proclaiming the perception of many different types. They feature multiple photos individually captioned: What society thinks I do. What my mom thinks I do. What my friend thinks I do. What I actually do. Many of these compilations have prompted a laugh, a share, or a friend tagged as I related to the accuracy and humor of these collections. A recent one regarding horse girls caught my attention, and I read through the comments. I realized I don’t always know what your expectations are when you come to my barn, when you sign your kids up for lessons and when you watch them improve. I do know what they learn. This is our reality:
Cowgirl boots are meant to be dirty. They are made to trudge through mud, muck, pastures, parking lots, and farm stores. They are loving cleaned when it is time to shine for 60 seconds of competition, but are most valuable when carrying us through the daily grind.
Hard work is not optional. Our horses rely on us when it’s 100 degrees or -10. It doesn’t matter if they are pasture pets or top athletes, we have to provide for them. The stalls need cleaned, the water tanks need scrubbed, the aisles need swept, the fences need mended, the list is never ending. There is no easy way, just the sweaty, dirty way.
Success can be seen in the small moments just as clearly as the large ones. You get up each morning and go to work with your partner, you pick a skill and you practice, and you practice, and then you practice some more. Then you pick a new skill and tackle that one. You do this every day until you are a master of your discipline, which ever that may be. Deep down, most of us are ecstatic when our horse loads on the trailer on the first try.
It takes a village isn’t just a cliche. We need our community. We need their advice, their experience, their hands, their skills. We need them when we are backyard owners and we need them when we are top competitors. Our vets, our farriers, other equine professionals, our trainers and even strangers on the roads are real life shamans. There is no time where we can’t find support for even the smallest crisis or a willing fellow equestrian to lend a hand.
It is actually grey or maybe it’s gray, additionally it might be flea bitten or dapple. The right way to do it is only limited by your creativity, and you are only right when it works. Black and white only exist on a paint.
There is always someone who knows more than you. So listen. Even if you don’t agree, even if you think you know better, even if you have more experience, listen, learn, grow. Go home and try it out. Keep what works and leave what doesn’t. There is always someone you know more than. Be willing to humbly pass on that knowledge.
Cowgirls do cry. Knowing when to let go is a skill. We learn that disappointment happens, financial difficulties happen, old age, sickness, injury, and death is inevitable. True horseman will have to relinquish many partners. The heartbreak is real, the grief is palpable, but dignity is possible. And life, does in fact, move on.
Stereotypes can be wrong. A gelding will foster an abandoned foal, a lame plow horse will calm a hot thoroughbred, a rescue will win a barrel race, there is no limit to the connections to be made.
You will fall. You will fail. And you will get back on and try again. Any other option is unacceptable.
There are no participation ribbons. You will win that buckle, cup, ribbon, or check only if you are the best. Chances are-- you won’t be. So go home and work harder. Ride those hills, turn those circles, take that jump a thousand times and then do it all again. Yes, winning is awesome, but so is seeing how far you have come. Improvement is it’s own reward and there are not age limits for competitors.
Backing any trailer for the first time is intimidating no matter what it looks like. You have to start somewhere, and that rusty old two horse being pulled by a sixth hand farm truck facilitates your dreams. Savor each moment. This life goes so fast. I promise, you won’t drive it forever and you will feel surprisingly nostalgic when it’s time to trade up.
Sometimes-- it’s just not going to happen. You won’t get your way and the answer is just nope. Sometimes you will need to say no. You will need to say no for safety, for finances, to people you like, to people you don’t. You will need to say no to your horse, and you will need to learn to accept no from them also. You simply can not control everything, and sheer force of will is not a healthy solution. It’s okay to take a time out. Take a break, take a walk, and take a breath.
It is all worth it. You may be tired, hot, cold, dirty, broke, and overwhelmed. You may be on top one day and eating dirt the next. But you will be free, you will be equipped to take on the world, you will know what hard work means, you will know what responsibility is, you will know how to be self sufficient and when to ask for help, you will know that it really is just about the ride.
-Krista
