Strong Spirit Stables LLC

11/14/2025

Horses are ruthless in their ability to humble - and make the lesson stick.

“It Depends” (A Love Letter to Ambiguity)🐴📝

People hate those two words. “It depends.” They want certainty.

They want clean answers, clear rules, and a nice little box to shove the truth into so they can stop thinking about it.

They want the world to make sense in neat bullet points, preferably numbered, colour-coded, and narrated by someone with perfect teeth.

But life with horses laughs at that sort of thing. Life with horses is a life that comes with a lot of lessons.😎

Ask me any question about a horse and I’ll probably start with “it depends.” Not because I can’t decide, but because reality isn’t a multiple-choice test. My advice depends on who’s holding the lead rope, how the horse feels today, what was learned yesterday, and what might happen tomorrow. Context matters. Always.

When you’re new to horses, “it depends” sounds like an insult. You want someone to tell you The Right Way - capital T, capital R, capital W - so you can do it, feel safe, and get a gold star.

Then, once you start learning a bit, you go through your evangelical phase. You’ve found the light. There is a right way, and everyone else is doing it wrong. Until, inevitably, the horse gods (because they exist) decide it’s time to teach you humility. Usually involving a near-death experience. Usually in public.🫣

Horses are ruthless in their ability to humble - and make the lesson stick.

“It depends” is not indecision. It’s intelligence in motion. It’s the ability to stay creative, curious, and adaptable when everything around you is unpredictable. It’s the quiet confidence of someone who’s seen enough to know there’s more to learn - and why anyone who gets on their high horse clearly hasn’t met many.

So next time you hear “it depends,” don’t roll your eyes. Celebrate it. It’s not an excuse - it’s evolution. You’ve just met someone who’s paying attention. Someone who respects the complexity of horses - and of life. Someone who knows that real progress only begins once you stop pretending there’s one right way to do everything.❤

Share this to honour those two words - "it depends" and the horse gods that make us humble and wise!

This is my Collectable Advice Entry 77/365 of my challenge and series on words and terms used in the horse world. Hit SAVE, SHARE but please don't copy and paste!

11/14/2025

I’ve been doing this a long time.

I’ve worked with a lot of horses and a lot of different types of horses.

Not dozens, not hundreds… thousands.

And yet, this year in particular, I’m noticing, sometimes that experience doesn’t do me any good.

My perspective and my priorities have shifted, so that many of the old answers I had are no longer applicable.

So when I’m working with a horse, I truly have to be open to them teaching me an entirely new answer.

I no longer jump straight to a ‘known answer.’

I have to feel my way through, or dead end and backtrack, and feel my way forward again.

I’ve chosen to embrace that, rather than feel intimidated by it or threatened by it.

If we want to feel something we’ve never felt, get something we’ve never gotten, we have to be OK with doing something we’ve never done.

We have to be OK with not knowing, and put our faith in ourselves and our horses.


11/14/2025

Why do you do ground work before you ride them?

11/10/2025

I used to see no issue with starting horses under saddle at 3 years old. And even 2 years old.

Then, I got perspective.

I watched young horses grow and how their bodies developed and changed drastically, especially between 3 and 4 years old.

I started to question how quickly horses were brought along.

I thought about my own fitness and how ill equipped I would be to carry a backpack that was 10-20% of my weight and do so for 30 minutes to an hour at all speeds… without ever gradually building the capacity to do so.

I thought about how my back would be sore, how I would have to compensate for the fitness I didn’t gain.

And then I thought about what we do with horses.

How many horses are started under saddle and going walk/trot/canter within the span of 30 days.

How they’re expected to pack weight for 30min + basically right away.

How throughout all of this, if they’re only 2 or 3, they have a completely under developed spine and many weight bearing joints that are still fusing.

And then I thought about how easy it is to start to build fitness without the weight of a rider.

So, despite the fact that I never would have thought my perspective would shift in this way, I do not see an argument for starting horses before four years old.

And even at four years old, we should be scaffolding their training and gradually adding weight and gradually increasing the amount of time they are expected to pack weight.

Otherwise, what we are left with is young horses with under developed spines and poorly developed top lines who have no capacity to properly carry the rider who sits on them.

And then, people wonder why we see such a high rate of injury in sports horses.

Just because competition demands normalize starting horses at a certain age and normalize progressing at a quick pace does not mean it is contingent to longevity and horses or in their best interest.

Movement for young horses is important.

This can be achieved with adequate turnout and also with groundwork training.

All of the studies that people reference regarding bone remodelling to try to justify riding earlier do not explicitly state that riding is necessary to have that occur.

We can put mild stress on the joints and help build density and strengthen the soft tissue without having weight on the spine.

The fact of the matter is that horses were not built to pack weight in the first place.

If we are going to ask them too, we need to adequately prepare them.

In the current culture of the Horse world, I don’t feel that this is happening in a lot of cases.

Horses are started young and brought along quickly, and it’s justified with a number of different excuses, none of which account for how many horses end up with significant physical issues in the long run.

The sheer number of horses that we see being sold off because they are not sound for their intended purpose should be enough of a red flag that we need to seriously reflect on the way we do things.

So, I encourage people to ask themselves if they are wanting to start their Horse is young for the benefit of the Horse or if it’s just because they don’t want to wait for the horse to develop.

If I’m being honest, despite all of the excuses, I would’ve made to try to justify that it was for the benefit of the Horse, every single time I started a horse at two and three, it was because I was impatient.

It was because I wasn’t well-versed in groundwork and didn’t know what to do.

It was because I wanted to ride more than I wanted to give my horse the time to grow.

And I think this is reflected across the industry.

Where the human desire to ride, the desire to compete, consistently comes above what might be best for the horse.

I’m willing to eat my words if information comes out that shows that it is truly beneficial for horses to be started young.

But, currently what we are seeing with the frequency of injuries in horses throughout their lives and how many horses end up with physical problems in the long run, I don’t believe that to be the case.

Currently, the bone remodelling studies we do have focus on young horses in short careers, such as racehorses.

They don’t account for a long scale studies that look at horses in their teens and later years and how their bodies are doing then.

I don’t know about you, but I want my Horse to be comfortable and physically capable longer than just their first 5-6 years of life.

And, if you do too, I caution you in justifying riding horses early using studies that do not account for the long-term.

11/10/2025

So… What Does “Lift Your Energy” Actually Mean?🤔

“Lift your energy!” they say, usually with the same tone people use when telling you to “manifest abundance” or “just relax.” It sounds profound, but it’s about as clear as “be more sparkly” - which, if you’ve ever tried, you’ll know is not a measurable unit of anything.

But alright, let’s break it down. I’ve spent two decades standing at the front of lecture theatres full of university students, delivering thrilling topics like health economics, drug laws, and the mathematics of drug dissolution. Let me tell you - if you don’t lift your energy, you die. Not literally, but spiritually. You evaporate. You become that droning background noise between lunch and freedom. And university students are ruthless.🫣

So you learn to command attention. You walk out there like you’ve got something worth saying, even if you secretly find the topic as exciting as wet cardboard. You fill the room, not with noise, but with presence. You have to light yourself on fire (metaphorically, of course) so people sit up and think, “Huh, she’s alive and important.”

Now, with horses, it’s exactly the same. “Lift your energy” means stop disappearing. Stop moving like you’re apologising for existing. Horses don’t follow half-hearted energy. They either take over, ignore you, or find your presence vaguely irritating - like an annoying fly.😬

Here’s the catch: lots of people have never had to be seen. They’ve spent decades trying to be small, safe, and unnoticeable. So when they’re told to “lift their energy,” they either freeze like deer in headlights or swing too far and turn into slightly terrifying drill sergeants.

One of my clients nailed it. After I’d tried explaining the idea a few different ways, she looked at me and said, “Shelley, honestly, what you’re describing sounds like trying to hold in a fart.”🤭 And she’s right - that’s what it feels like for a lot of people. They clench, brace, and strain to do something. But that kind of energy doesn’t lift. It implodes. Horses feel that and think, “No thanks, weird human.”🤨

Real lifted energy is presence without panic. It’s standing tall, breathing, and letting yourself exist loudly enough that the horse goes, “Oh, hello, you matter.”

So no, you don’t have to sparkle like a disco ball. But if you’re vanishing into the background while your horse looks for someone more interesting, it’s time to glow a little brighter. You’re not tensing and retaining farts😕. You’re just showing up like you mean it.💪🙌

This is Collectable Advice Entry 76 of my challenge and series on words and terms in the horse world. Please hit SHARE or SAVE but please do not copy and paste (but just enough to miss this particular line) as that is uncool. ❤

PS. I dedicate this post to my friend Kas 😆

11/09/2025

Mind Melding: Can Brain-to-Brain Coupling Happen Between Horses and Humans?

When we talk about “connection” with a horse, we often describe it through feel:

• We were in sync.

• He breathed with me.

• She softened as soon as I softened.

• We moved like one.

For many horse people, this is not metaphor — it’s experience.

Science is beginning to validate what horse-human relationships have demonstrated for centuries: nervous systems can synchronize across species.

This phenomenon, known in neuroscience as brain-to-brain coupling, describes when two brains begin to align in activity, timing, attention, and emotional state.

Although most research examines human-to-human interactions, the biological principles extend beautifully to the horse-human relationship.

In the equine world, we’ve long used other terms for the same thing:

• Co-regulation

• Attunement

• Somatic communication

• Energetic matching

• Partnership physiology

Different vocabulary — same mechanism.

What Is Brain-to-Brain Coupling?

Brain-to-brain coupling refers to a dynamic process where two nervous systems begin to:

• Synchronize electrical and oscillatory activity

• Mirror emotional states

• Share attentional focus

• Coordinate timing and movement

• Predict each other’s responses

In plain terms:

Two brains begin tuning to the same channel.

In humans, it happens during empathy, music, conversation, and collaborative movement.

In horse-human interaction, it occurs through body language, breath, stillness, rhythm, and mutual awareness.

When safety and presence are established, both nervous systems “listen” and adjust until they find resonance.

Can Horses and Humans Synchronize This Way?

Yes — and research supports it.

Heart-Rate Synchronization

Studies show that human and equine heart rhythms can entrain — meaning their heart-rate variability patterns align — during moments of calm interaction, grooming, bodywork, or rhythmic movement.

This alignment is associated with increased parasympathetic tone, the physiological state of rest, safety, and social connection.

Breath Entrainment

Horses often begin breathing in synchrony with calm, steady human breathing. The opposite can also happen — an anxious human’s shallow breath can increase the horse’s vigilance.

Autonomic Co-Regulation

Both species share similar autonomic mechanisms for safety and social engagement.

When one nervous system slows and softens, the other often follows — a living feedback loop of calm.

Mirror Neuron Activity

Mirror neurons allow mammals to map another’s movement or emotion internally — “feeling into” what they see.

When a handler softens posture or releases tension, a horse perceives that change not only visually but somatically — often mirroring it in muscle tone and breath.

Social Safety Circuitry

The vagus nerve, facial muscles, voice tone, and eye contact form what Stephen Porges calls the social engagement system.
Soft eyes, gentle rhythm, and relaxed movement signal safety to both species’ nervous systems.

Together, these mechanisms create a multisystem resonance that functions like interspecies empathy — a physiological dialogue beneath words.

How It Feels in Real Life

You already know this experience:

• You soften → the horse softens

• Your breathing slows → theirs deepens

• You release tension → they sigh, lick, or chew

• Your focus clarifies → theirs steadies

It is not submission.

It is not control.

It is mutual regulation — the biology of safety and trust.

Connection is not magic.

It’s nervous system coherence.

Why It Matters in Bodywork and Training

For equine massage, myofascial, and somatic practitioners, this understanding reframes the entire process.

• Your nervous system becomes part of the therapeutic field.

• Presence regulates before any technique begins.

• Calm is more contagious than pressure.

• Breath, rhythm, and attention shape the horse’s sensory world.

• The horse mirrors your internal state, not your external plan.

In training:

• A tense human evokes defensive patterns.

• A regulated human invites curiosity and learning.

• Feel is not mechanical — it’s relational and neurological.

Connection isn’t metaphor.

It’s biology in synchrony.

Supporting Positive Synchrony

Cultivating interspecies resonance is a practice of awareness and self-regulation.

Try:

✅ Slow, diaphragmatic breathing before contact
✅ Grounding your feet and relaxing your jaw
✅ Offering quiet presence rather than forced stillness
✅ Matching rhythm — then softly leading change
✅ Allowing curiosity and space instead of command
✅ Treating emotional regulation as a shared skill

Presence is the prerequisite for partnership.

Why It Matters for Healing

In horses recovering from pain, trauma, or tension, co-regulation can reopen the door to safety.

A calm human nervous system acts as a template — a “borrowed regulator” — that helps the horse’s system downshift out of protection.

In myofascial or somatic bodywork, these shared states often precede tissue change.
When the horse’s nervous system perceives safety, fascial tone, respiration, and heart rhythm all begin to normalize — allowing physical and emotional release to occur.

This is how true connection heals.

The Takeaway

Yes — brain-to-brain coupling can occur between horses and humans.
Horses don’t just read our posture; they read our nervous systems.

When we bring calm, clarity, and presence, they don’t submit — they join.
What we call “feel” is the living physiology of trust, safety, rhythm, and empathy between species.

We don’t merely train or treat horses —
we co-regulate with them.

And in that shared coherence, learning, healing, and harmony emerge naturally.

The Energy Connection Between Horse and Human: Science and Sensation -
https://koperequine.com/the-energy-connection-between-horse-and-human-science-and-sensation/

11/09/2025

They call it “aura farming”. . .

You’ve probably seen that phrase floating around online lately. It’s the kind of thing people say as a joke. Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it’s funny and we laugh because it’s true.

In the world of horses, it’s especially true.

Let me share a recent example.

Amy was teaching a groundwork lesson. The horse she used was a veteran; quiet, honest, knows exactly what to do. Perfect beginner horse. The student is brand-new.

To demonstrate the lunging exercise, Amy sends the horse out onto the circle. The rope feeds out, the horse finds the circle, energetic and easy departure. Then she hands the line to the beginner.

Same cues.
Same steps.
Same rope.
Same horse.

Different aura.

The student lifts her hand, tries to send the horse off — and the horse just melts toward her, leaning in, crowding her space.

The student is confused. She can’t get the horse to move away.

Now she’s having to use a TON more pressure and even s***k the horse to get it to move, when all Amy needed was finger point.

Why?

It’s not a question of strength. It’s not even a question of technique.

It’s presence.

Every cell in the student’s body was saying “please” and “oh nonono oh gawd don’t mess this up. . . instead of “GO.”

And the horse heard it loud and clear.

Communication always resides underneath the physical aid or cue. The cue is just the punctuation mark at the end of the sentence your body’s already been writing.

Before you move, before you speak, before the rope tightens — the horse has already read your posture, your focus, your intention.

When your thoughts, eyes, and body point in the same direction, that’s when the horse believes you.

We call this “congruency” — total alignment of belief, intention, and action.

Call it leadership, or communication, or presence, or attunement, or convergence, or concillience, or whatever term you want to use.

Call it “aura”, even.

But it’s the oldest communication technology on Earth.

🐴 🧠 🌎

11/09/2025

If you can get the horses mind, the symptoms go away.

11/08/2025

10/31/2025

WHEN THE PENDULUM SWINGS INTO PARALYSIS…

Having another trainer come in to have me spot them on their classical work is always a treat, but it also gives me a chance to connect with another professional- to exchange ideas, and reflect on the trends we’re seeing in the industry, with both the horses and humans we’re responsible for.

Overwhelmingly, what professional after professional has shared with me is our mutual observation of the pendulum swing occurring in the horsemanship industry…

We’re rightfully distancing ourselves from a collective and often personal past rife with abusive practices.

But sometimes, the pendulum swings too far the other way, and I worry for the future of our horsemanship.

The present is full of paradoxes that can be disorienting for trainers, owners, and horses alike.

We still witness harmful, even traumatizing practices in the industry. No doubt about it.

But we also encounter the opposite extreme… horses with failure to thrive because they have unaddressed mental or emotional dysregulation, unaddressed physical dysfunction, or simply a lack of basic life skills.

This extreme end of the spectrum isn’t healthy, either.

It’s where paralysis of analysis lives, where self-doubt, guilt, shame, and information overwhelm and misinformation can leave us stuck.

But I think this is an inevitable, and possibly even necessary, part of becoming a better horseman.

Once our eyes are opened to what horses are actually experiencing, we can’t unsee it.

The trick is to use the momentum of imperfect action, that allows all of this to become forward footing, rather than quicksand.

Conquering inertia will allow us to swing back onto the spectrum and find a place to settle that is our own.

That means we have to trust our gut, and listen to our horse, more than the voices coming from either end of the spectrum.

The middle is a place where we have to be OK with getting criticism from both ends, where we have to be OK with accepting the new normal of feeling perpetually unsure, whether we’re trainers, or owners.

This is where, as trainers, we have to hold space for the difficult questions and conversations that owners might bring to us as as they learn to navigate this as well

This is where everything we’re learning empowers us, rather than paralyzes us.