12/18/2024
As a coach, one of the most rewarding things to see is when a rider starts showing more interest in the sport. Whether it’s spending extra time at the barn, asking thoughtful questions about training, or simply showing up more frequently, these moments are signs that they’re developing a deeper connection with both the horse and the discipline. But here’s something to keep in mind: how we respond to these efforts matters.
Imagine this: a rider who’s typically more reserved starts coming to the barn more often, spending time brushing their horse, watching others train, or just hanging out and soaking in the atmosphere. This is a huge win. Yet, if the first thing we say when we see them is something like, “Oh, nice of you to finally step it up,” we risk undermining that progress.
That comment, even if meant playfully, can make them feel like their effort isn’t valued. I’ve been guilty of it. Instead of encouraging them to keep engaging and showing more interest, we might inadvertently make them feel like they don’t belong unless they’re constantly involved in the “main action.”
As coaches, we need to be mindful of the message we send when we see our riders starting to take a more active role. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. When a rider begins to show more interest—whether it's staying after class to help clean tack, watching lessons, or simply spending more time at the barn—it’s a clear sign they’re invested. Instead of downplaying it, celebrate it. A simple, “I’m really glad you’re spending more time here,” or “It’s great to see you getting involved,” can reinforce the positive behavior and keep them coming back with even more enthusiasm. It’s also important to not be overly negative if they *stop* showing interest or back off their involvement at the barn some. Sometimes people need a break! Let them know they’re welcome anytime and encourage them when they do show up.
Much like our horses, riders need consistency, trust, and encouragement. If we want them to engage more with the sport, to show up and put in the extra effort, we have to create an environment where those actions are celebrated. By acknowledging their growing interest and reinforcing their presence, we’re not just teaching them riding skills—we’re teaching them the value of commitment, teamwork, and passion for the sport.
Let’s make sure we’re encouraging the behaviors we want to see by supporting their efforts and creating a space where they feel welcome and motivated to grow. After all, when they invest more in the sport, we all grow stronger together—both as riders and as a community
Stop negatively reinforcing things you *want* to see!
Likewise: If your child spends all their time in their room, and they finally come to sit with the family, don’t discourage it. If your child comes home with a B, when they have been struggling in school, don’t berate them cause it isn’t an A. These ideas transfer to all areas of life.
