Stillwater Dressage

12/06/2025

This goes for instructors too! Me , How did it go this week, …. Student , “Didn’t have time to ride, and the horse didn’t go out much because of ( mud cold rain Christmas , or…) can you ride them a bit?????. 🤨

Why I No Longer Take Horses For Training?

When my career began twenty years ago, everything was different. I enjoyed riding horses and soon found a way I could get paid to do it. Fast forward a bit and I was working a steady job to pay the bills as I was building my business, and in the meantime was learning a lot, about horses certainly, but as much about people.

Horses are the easy part, people are not. Quite frankly, people are hard to please and at the same time are often unreasonable. I have met some great people because of horses, many were clients, but people are still the hardest part.

Here is a situation that played out enough that I have it memorized by word.

Client-I have a horse I need started.

Me-how old is it?

C-5 or 6, I really wanted it to mature before it was started and now I dont have the time.

Me-what will be changing in your schedule so that you can keep riding the horse when it comes home?

C-oh I will find the time. I just can't afford to get hurt right now.

Me-I can't either

Me- here is what I charge...per month, and I require 90 days

C-oh I can't afford that! What can I get for 30 days?

Me-........

C-and I want to be there everyday so that I can watch you and learn what you do. Can you work it everyday on my schedule?

If life was only this simple. The truth is that training horses is a very tough business. I have recently had numerous aspiring trainers reach out to me, which is great. But everyone needs to realize that that the industry needs to fix some things. If we dont do some things soon, I fear no one will be training horses in a decade, especially starting colts. And that is where I want to focus on.

We have too many people that have trained one or two and think they know everything and want to throw stones at everyone else that might do things differently. Then, what realistically needs to be charged to make the finances work is much more than most will pay. So why would a young person want to start something that takes considerable time to learn, doesn't pay much, and has a high risk of a short career?

So here is what I believe can be done. Take it or leave it.

Be reasonable, despite what you may think, ALL young, uneducated horses can have their moments. I know in the YouTube, TikTok age that doesnt happen, but in the real world it does.

Don't be cheap. It isn't the trainers responsibility to make horses affordable for you.

Understand that the process of training a horse is a VERY time consuming, thought out process filled with immense intentionality in everything and that doesn't end when you pick them up from the trainers.

And finally and most importantly, understand that horses are not programmable. Just because a trainer spends tons of time teaching a horse to do all the things, but you do everything differently they they did. You will get a different result. That wasnt and isn't the trainers fault. Ask the same way they did or expect something different.

I have just scratched the surface of the topic. Much more could, and maybe should be talked about. And to be fair the horror stories can be told from both the client and trainers perspective by many of you. So lets see if we can communicate better with each other and do our best to look at life from potentially others perspectives, not just our own, just like when we are working with our horses.

Pc Tracey Buyce Photography

12/02/2025

12/02/2025

Tonight’s book review for 2025 BBEC is Riding in Release by Kate Sandel. Deep power point tonight 43 pages!!! 🙂

12/01/2025

11/30/2025

Long reins don’t mean loose reins.
Short reins don’t mean tight reins.
Honestly- the opposite is typically true!!!!
When the riders reins are too long, the rider often ends up with their hands in their crotch, pulling down and back. Even if the pressure isn’t a lot, the hands are PULLING BACKWARDS.
With short reins, you can think of pushing the hands forwards. Horses like short reins and forward thinking hands MUCH better than long reins and contracted arms that are constantly acting backwards.

11/30/2025

The Horse
Where in the wide world can man find nobility without pride,
Friendship without envy,
Or beauty without vanity?
Here, where grace is served with muscle
And strength by gentleness confined
He served without servility; he has fought without enmity.
There is nothing so powerful, nothing less violent.
There is nothing so quick, nothing more patient.
-Ronald Duncan, "The Horse" 1954

Learn more: https://forthehorse.com/speak

11/29/2025

I have these pieces available for sale PM me for more info 😊

11/29/2025

Horses Are Easy. People Are Lovely. Perfectionism Is the Real Villain.😈

Horses are straightforward. People are interesting. Perfectionism is the gremlin hiding under the bed chewing through everyone’s self worth.

It shows up in many flavours.
- There is the version that hisses you are a failure and everyone else is doing better.
- There is the one that freezes you completely because trying feels riskier than hiding.
- There is the one that expects instant mastery, then punishes you for being human.
- There is the one that interprets any feedback as a personal attack.
- There is the one that insists you are an imposter who must not be found out.
- There is the one that tells you success is compulsory and you must sprint forever.
- There is the one that whispers you are only valuable if you never stumble.

Perfectionism is that nasty internal commentator that keeps a running scoreboard of your flaws, imagined or otherwise. It steals time, drains energy and replaces joy with anxiety. It convinces you that praise is pity and that failure is fatal. It is astonishingly efficient at turning a simple hobby with your horse into an existential crisis.

I see this monster in riders who desperately want their horse to be a source of balance and identity. Yet the perfectionism beast hovers nearby, muttering warnings, predicting disaster and sabotaging confidence.

Each day I help people outsmart it. I show them how to start small, build a skill, and influence a horse through clarity rather than self punishment. I remind them that learning is messy and that messy is normal. Horses do not need perfect riders. They need consistent ones. They need humans who practise, who breathe, who try again.

Perfectionism poisons horsemanship. That harsh internal voice creates a frustrated rider. The frustrated rider creates a confused horse. The horse reflects it all straight back at us like a very large, very honest mirror.

It takes courage to silence the monster. It takes community to keep going. Surround yourself with people who value the journey, who celebrate effort, who understand that growth comes from showing up rather than showing off.

And when you forget all that, remember this. Your horse is not asking for perfect. Your horse is asking for your effort to try♥️.

This is Collectable Advice Entry 91/365 of my challenge to share good ideas. Please save it, share it and let it enrich your day. If you are a content creator, kindly refrain from copying and pasting it and use your own brains😉

11/29/2025

Who Is In Your Inner Horse Circle?

Let’s talk about the people who stand closest to your horse life. The ones who influence your confidence, your decisions and your sense of what is possible every time you look at your horse (or yourself in the mirror).

Your circle matters.⭕️❤

And sometimes you hear a piece of advice so solid, so undeniably useful, that you feel morally obliged to share it. This is one of those moments.

Look at the people in your horse world and ask yourself a few honest questions.
- Are they the ones who cheer when you make progress, even the tiny kind?
- Do they embrace your thoughts or discoveries?
- Do they listen? Do they motivate?
- Do they help you grow, learn and stay accountable in a way that actually improves life for you and your horse?

Or do they leave you feeling judged, insecure and vaguely convinced you are failing at horse ownership and possibly life?

Mel Robbins has a rule for this - If someone “pains you or drains you,” walk away. Simple. Elegant. Brutally accurate.

Because here is the truth. Your social circle shapes how you think, how you behave and what you believe you are capable of. Sit with people who whinge, flounder or catastrophise and you will join the choir. Sit with people who encourage skill, learning, exploration and responsibility and you will grow.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your riding, your horse and your mental health is to renovate your inner circle. Replace the critics with supporters, the energy vampires with actual humans and the melodramatic doom prophets with someone who has seen you ride and still believes in your potential.

Choose your horse circle wisely. Your horse will thank you. And frankly, so will your nervous system and sense of worth❤️‍🩹.

This is Collectable Advice Entry 89/365, bringing you daily wisdom to save or share. Please enjoy it responsibly and other content creators please resist the urge to copy and paste and pass my work of as your own 😎.