05/16/2018
Dogs
Man Grives over late dog by writing story of Bennys Perspective.How the dog feels going through this time in his life!!!
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Man Grieves Over Late Dog By Writing A Beautiful Story From Bennyās Perspective
by Karen Tietjen
Warning: grab the tissues.
When musician John Pointer wrote and shared an essay about the day his beloved Boxer Benny passed awayāfrom Bennyās point of viewāhe did it to process his own grief. But little did he know that the story would be circulated world-wide, being translated into multiple languages.
When asked what sparked the idea for the essay, John told iHeartDogs:
It just didnāt make sense. [Benny] was the Energizer Benny. Nothing stopped him. I couldnāt comprehend it. And I was devastated. I had to get out of my own mind. It was too painfully ironic that after thousands of dollars, and so much hope, and all the ups and downs, the āmiracle cureā was to put him down.
So I wondered, āWhat if he actually experienced it as a cure?ā
Knowing that his loyal pal would never leave him in life or death, John told us:
Heaven for both of us was, and is, being within 15 feet of each other. Thatās why the Rainbow Bridge, as beautiful as it is, just never worked for me. Neither of my dogs would ever leave my side. I know that. And I would never let them feel alone, even for an instant, even to the end.
Bennyās dad still frequently posts on the Benny Pointer page, from the pupās perspective, saying:
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āI realized that by channeling Benny, not only was I keeping him alive through my words and deeds, but I was actually becoming a better person. Bennyās the kind of guy we all wish we could be.
What a beautiful way to memorialize a beloved pet. Read the original heartfelt story below.
In loving memory of Benny Pointer, 2007-2016
Yesterday was a weird day. I couldnāt get myself out of bed. The guy I live with lifted me up. I tried to get my legs under me, but they wouldnāt cooperate. He said, āDonāt worry, I gotcha buddy,ā carried me downstairs, and out the front door. That was so nice of him. I needed to p*e so badly, I just had to go right there where he put me down. Normally I wouldnāt, but we both decided to make an exception to the rule.
I started walking down the parking lot toward that place where all the dogs like me go to p**p. I felt my paws dragging on the ground. āHow strange,ā I thought. Then suddenly, I just had to go, really badly. In the middle of the parking lot. Normally, I wouldnāt do that. Itās against the rules.
My person cleaned up the mess. Heās good at that. I felt embarrassed, looked at him, and he said, āWant to keep walking, buddy?ā I did, but it was surprisingly tough. By the time we reached the end of the parking lot, my head was spinning. I tried to climb the little hill, and nearly fell over. I couldnāt figure out what was going on.
He reached down again, and ran his hands over me. That felt good. He picked me up, and carried me home. I was still confused, and my head was light, but I was glad not to have to walk all the way back. It suddenly seemed like an impossible distance.
I was so glad to lay down on my bed. My person petted me, saying, āI gotcha covered, buddy. I gotcha.ā I love the way that makes me feel. I know he does. He makes everything better.
John Pointer via Benny Pointer page
He felt my paws, and pulled up my lip. He said, āOh buddy, are you cold?ā I was. My face was cold, my paws were cold. He texted a few people, and came back to pet me.
A few minutes later, another person arrived. Heās one of my favorites, and his name is Jay. He petted me, and said to my person, āDo you want to get a blanket?ā They put a blanket over me, and wowā¦ that felt good. I relaxed, and they both petted me, but they both started to choke back tears.
I never want them to cry, it breaks my heart. Itās my job to make them feel better, and I was just a little tired, and cold. I drifted in and out of sleep, and they were always there, making sure I was okay, and chatting with each other.
Throughout the day, my person made some phone calls, and spent a lot of time with me. I heard him say, ā9 am tomorrowā¦ okā¦ yesā¦ Iāll tell you if anything changes. Thank you Dr. MacDonald.ā He called someone else, and said, āIām sorry, I have to cancel tonight.ā Then as I was drifting off to sleep, I think I heard him cry a little again.
John Pointer via Benny Pointer page
In the evening, more of my favorite people came by. They were all so loving. I licked their tears away when they would get close enough to my face. They whispered sweet things in my ear, and told me I was a good boy.
Later in the evening, I felt well enough to stand up and walk to the door to see who was coming in. It was more exhausting than Iād remembered it being, but I loved seeing them all. I heard my person say something like, āThatās the first time heās gotten up under his own power today.ā Everyone seemed glad that I was out of bed. I was too, but wowā¦ after the excitement wore off, it was so exhausting to move around.
After the last visitor left, my person took me outside to do what he called, āmy business.ā We went back inside and when we reached the bottom of the stairs, they looked twice as steep and ten times as long as I remembered them being. I looked at my person, and he looked at me. He said, āDonāt worry, I gotcha buddy,ā and carried me up.
Then it got even better! Instead of sleeping in my bed, he called me up to sleep on *his* bed. Let me repeat: *I got to sleep in the bed with my person!* We normally have our own beds, but last night we snuggled, and it felt so good to be that close to him. I thought, āThis is where I belong. I will never leave his side.ā I didnāt feel very well though, and it was hard to breathe sometimes.
It seems like it started a few months ago. We were playing fetch and I just blacked out. I donāt know what happened, but I think I stopped breathing. I could hear my person calling my name. I couldnāt move a muscle. He lifted my head, and looked into my eyes. I could see him right there, but couldnāt lick his face. He said, āBenny, are you in there?ā I couldnāt respond. He looked at me, and said, āDonāt worry buddy, I gotcha. I gotcha covered.ā I started to spin into darkness, but then my lungs took in a deep breath, and I could see again.
We went to see some doctors, and since then Iāve heard a lot of words like, ācardiomyopathy,ā ācancer,ā and, ākidney failure.ā All I know is that sometimes I feel okay, and sometimesā¦ you knowā¦ I just donāt. My person gives me pills.
John Pointer via Benny Pointer page
This morning, I heard my person get up and take a shower. He came back in the room, and smelled so nice. He helped me get up, but this time, I could do it on my own. We got to the top of the stairs, and wowā¦ they looked long and steep again. He said, āI gotcha buddy,ā and carried me down. I did my business, and we came back inside. He opened a can, a really, really delicious can of wet dog food. Oh manā¦ I love that stuff!
Jay showed up again. What a nice surprise! He and my person seemed concerned, but everyone was petting me. It seemed a little like a play, where all the actors were sad, but pretending to be happy. Pretty soon after that, another person showed up. She was wearing doctor pants, and I leaned on her.
I heard them talk. Everyone looked at my gums, and felt my paws. I heard the doctor pants lady say, āItās your decision, but heās definitely in that window. I donāt want to push you, but looking at his lack of color, I am honestly shocked heās even standing up. In addition to the paws and jowls, look hereā¦ā she pointed at my face, āThis should be pink. Itās almost white, and verging toward yellow.ā
My person and Jay went inside to talk about something. When they came back out, I heard my person say, āI agree. I donāt want to wait till heās in absolute agony.ā So we went inside. Truth be told, I was feeling pretty badly, even though I was up and walking. It seemed like my whole head was cold, my paws were freezing, and my back legs werenāt working right.
The doctor pants lady said, āIāll just put this into his muscle. Itās a sedative. Then Iāll come back over here, and you can just love on him till heās asleep.ā My person kissed my face, and looked in my eyes. He was trying not to cry. Doctor pants lady gave me a shot of something in the leg. I just looked at my person. He is so awesome. I will always be right by his side.
He and Jay petted me, and said the nicest things ā what a good dog I am, what a good job Iāve done, how thankful they are to have me in their lives. After a while, my mind started buzzing. FOCUS! I looked back at my person. I love him so much.
I drifted again. FOCUS! I can see my person. I love him so much. I will always be right by his side. He knows that. Am I sleepy? FOCUS! Iāll always look at him with my whole heartā¦
John Pointer via Benny Pointer page
Doctor pants lady said, āHe must have an incredible will to stay with you. He is really powering through. Thatās impressive.ā My person choked back tears and said, āI know. This guy lives for me. He is the most devoted soul Iāve ever metā¦ā We put our heads together, and closed our eyes. I felt good. I canāt really describe it. We looked at each other again. I just felt like riding that buzz, but maybe lying down was better. My person helped me down. Man, that felt gooooooood.
I felt him and Jay petting me, and heard them talking to me. They love me so much. How lucky am I? Then I felt thousands of hands petting me. Everyone Iād ever known and loved was there, petting me, scratching my ears, and that spot under my collar that makes my leg move. Everyone should try this. Itās just amazing!
Then I felt the doctor pants lady touch my leg. Did I tell you that my person had to have both of my knees repaired? Theyāre titanium, and have served me well, but you knowā¦ Iāve been feeling a little creaky lately.
With everyone petting me, the doctor pants lady put another needle in my leg, but this time, as the fluid went in, my legs were healed! My knees were perfect! And as I felt it move through my body, my cancer disappeared! And then my kidneys felt better! And finally, even my heart was whole, and healthy! I felt like I had sprung away from all of my sickness. Amazing!
I saw my person, and Jay, and the lady who lives at our house, Shelly. They seemed to be huddling over something. I walked over to look. It seemed likeā¦ I donāt know. It kind of looked like me, but the way I looked when I was feeling really sick, or exhausted. The face was blurred out, so I couldnāt really tell, but that poor guy looked like he had been suffering.
I could tell my person was both relieved and very, very sad. I love him so much. I looked at that me-shaped shell, and I looked at himā¦ I think he was sad about that shell. I jumped around the room, like a clown, but it seemed like they wanted to be somber, and focus on whatever that thing was they were petting and kissing.
But my person was definitely sad. I leaned on him, like Iāve done a million times before, but it wasnāt quite the same. It felt like his body was a cloud and I passed right through him. So I walked up next to him, sat like a good boy, and my heart whispered to his, āDonāt worry, buddy. I gotcha covered.ā
I will never leave his side. He knows that.
John Pointer via Benny Pointer page
Special thanks to John Pointer for letting us share this heartfelt story.
Written by Karen Tietjen
Tags: benny, boxer, dog, essay, heartfelt, letter, love, memorial, memory, pass away, point of view, remember
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