Three Dog Ranch

04/26/2025

"Alright, people — places, places! I want more emotion! More passion! This scene needs to smell like bacon and FEEL like a belly rub, oui oui!"

04/26/2025

TUCKER: "Wait... where are my eyes??" 👀🐶

04/26/2025

"If they can't see me... they can't make me take a bath... stay cool... stay invisible..."

04/26/2025

FLAN: "Ken...In the grand scheme of the universe... all we really need is me, you, and a cup of coffee, my friend."☕

04/26/2025

"Mornin’, see? Hope ya got the joe brewin’, ‘cause I ain’t chasin’ no cats on an empty tank, capisce?"

04/25/2025

04/25/2025

A dog’s version of “good morning” is like a whole mood. Here’s what that might look like:

🐾 Tail wag on max speed – like it’s powered by joy alone.
🐶 Face nuzzle or gentle paw tap – “Hey. Wake up. I love you.”
😋 Yawns with dramatic stretch – front paws out, butt up, like yoga but cuter.
🧸 Bringing you a toy – “Good morning. Play with me now.”
🗣️ Happy grumbles or little woofs – not barking, just... dog chatter.
🐕 Zoomies outta nowhere – “The sun is up. LIFE IS HAPPENING.”

And if they’re really affectionate? Maybe they crawl onto your chest like, “You’re not starting the day without me.”

What kind of “good morning” vibe does your dog bring? Chill and cuddly, or chaos and joy?

04/25/2025

🎓🐶 WELCOME SPEECH – The Official Council of Goodest Bois & Gals 🐶🎓

Chairdog Golden Retriever:
“Good woofs, esteemed pupper. On behalf of the Doghood of Sniffers United, we welcome you—with open paws and wagging tails.”

“As a new member, you’ll be expected to participate in the following:
– Butt sniffing greetings
– Pack-approved howling hours
– Occasional synchronized barking at invisible threats.”

Doodle Secretary:
“Please state your name, your favorite treat, and your stance on squirrels. For documentation purposes.”
“All breeds are welcome. Unless you're a cat in disguise. We will find out.”

Malimois Diplomat:
“We hope you find Three Dog Ranch to be a safe space for zoomies, group sniffs, and judgment-free belly rolls.”
“We run on three core values: Bark with honesty. Wag with pride. Chase with reckless joy.”

Sir Mix-a-lot of Ceremonies:
“Welcome to the pack. Your presence improves the overall fluffiness of this organization.”
“Just vibe, bro. And don’t eat the poop.”🤣

04/24/2025

🎤 TED Talk: “Sniff First, Ask Questions Later – The Power of Socialization” by Bark Ruffalo 🐾

lights dim, spotlight hits a charismatic golden retriever in a bowtie

"Ladies, gentlepups, and hoomans who think 'sit' is a personality—thank you for being here today."

"Let’s talk about socialization. It’s not just sniffing butts. Okay, it is sniffing butts—but it’s also SO much more."

"When I was a puppy, I didn’t know how to handle loud noises, stairs, or mailmen. But my humans took me everywhere. Parks, pet stores, brunch patios—yes, I’m that dog. And now? I don’t bark at vacuum cleaners. I lead them."

"Some pups miss out on this. They grow up scared of shadows and suspicious of squirrels. But with good socialization? We become confident. Brave. The kind of dog who can chill at a dog park and not pick a fight over a tennis ball."

"So I say to all you humans: expose us to the world—gently, with treats. Let us meet kids, cats, bikers, and weird statues. Socialized dogs are happy dogs. And happy dogs don’t eat your shoes."

"Thank you. And remember: sniff boldly, wag freely, and always sit for snacks."

mic drop. tail wag. thunderous pawplause.😀

04/24/2025

BUBBA: "Excuse me, my eyes are up here."
"This is premium-grade pupper rump. Step back."🤣

04/23/2025

YAY! 🎉🐻 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAR THE DOG! 🐾

Here’s a special birthday poem just for the goodest Bear:

🎂 Happy Birthday, Bear! 🎂

Wake up, world—it’s time to cheer,
The best dog ever’s born this year!
Big ol’ paws and a heart so sweet,
A wagging tail, four happy feet.

Bear’s the name, and joy’s the game,
Chasing dreams and squirrels the same.
Treats today? Yes, pile them high!
And belly rubs? Don’t even try to deny.

From zoomies fast to naps so deep,
You guard our hearts and steal our sleep.
You’re loyal, bold, a furry star—
We love you just the way you are. 💛

So sniff the breeze and chase your tail,
Today, dear Bear, you cannot fail.
Because it’s YOUR day—howl with pride,
We’re lucky to have you by our side!

04/23/2025

Awwww, happy birthday to Ember the Dog! 🐾🎉 Here's a little celebratory poem just for her:

🎂 Happy Birthday, Ember! 🎂
The sun came up, the tail did wag,
Today’s the day we raise the flag!
For treats and toys and birthday cheer,
Because sweet Ember’s day is here!

With floppy ears and eyes so bright,
You fill our hearts with pure delight.
A friend, a goof, a cuddle queen,
The best pup that we’ve ever seen.

So here’s to you, with cake and play,
We celebrate your special day!
Run wild, dig holes, and bark with glee—
You're the goodest girl there’ll ever be! 🐶❤️

04/23/2025

🐾 Three Dog Ranch Culture 🐾

Where Dogs Come First, and Tails Never Stop Wagging

At Three Dog Ranch, we believe in more than just care—we believe in canine joy.

Our culture is built around trust, compassion, and play, creating a home-away-from-home for every pup that trots through our gates.

We’re not just dog lovers—we’re dog understanders. Each tail wag, each nose boop, each goofy zoomie is part of a language we speak fluently.

Here’s what defines us:

Pack Mentality: Every dog is family. We treat your pet like our own—with respect, patience, and heart.

Play With Purpose: Structured fun and social time, with enrichment that keeps tails wagging and minds happy.

Safety First: Supervised play, secure grounds, and trained staff who know dog body language inside and out.

Comfort Always: Whether it’s naptime cuddles, cozy bedding, or personalized attention, we make sure every dog feels safe and loved.

Joyful Humans, Happy Dogs: Our team shows up every day with a big smile, a pocket full of treats, and a deep passion for pups.

At Three Dog Ranch, it’s not just about boarding—it’s about belonging.

04/23/2025

A Day at Three Dog Ranch Boarding & Daycare
As told by a very excited dog

I woke up at the Ranch, oh boy, oh wow!
There’s sniffing to do, and I don’t know how
They packed so much fun in a single place—
Toys, new friends, and a doggie race!

The humans are nice, they scratch just right,
They tuck us in cozy each sleepy night.
We play in the sun, we roll in the breeze,
We bark with joy and chase with ease.

There’s belly rubs and tasty snacks,
Cool shady spots to rest and relax.
At Three Dog Ranch, it’s never boring—
It’s tail-wag heaven from dusk to morning!

04/23/2025

Good Morning, My Human 🐾

The sun is up, your eyes are too,
I waited all night just for you.
I sniffed the air, I watched the door,
Now you're awake—let's do much more!

I brought my toy, I did a spin,
A brand new day is set to begin.
Let’s sniff the grass, let's chase a breeze,
I’ll wag my tail and guard the trees.

You stretch, you yawn—oh what a sight!
Your sleepy face, my heart’s delight.
I love you more than treats or play,
I love you every single day.

04/19/2025

DATING PROFILE...

Name: Bark Ruffalo
Age: 4 years young
Breed: Golden Retriever (with a touch of mystery)
Location: Your heart (but technically, Central Park)
Looking For: Long walks, deep sniffs, and someone who shares my love of tennis balls.

About Me:
Sweet, loyal, and a little goofy. I’m the kind of dog who will wag my whole body when I see you. I enjoy chasing squirrels I’ll never catch, splashing in puddles, and stealing socks (it’s a love language). I believe in belly rubs on the first date and think every hydrant is worth stopping for.

Ideal Match:
Someone who loves adventure as much as napping. Must be into treats, sniffing everything, and preferably not a cat (no offense, I just don’t get them). Bonus points if you howl at sirens too.

Fun Fact: I once ate an entire rotisserie chicken (no regrets).

04/18/2025

A DAY AT THE RANCH....

Dogs are tired, their tails hang low,
After a day where wild pups go.
They chased and barked and rolled in dirt,
Wore grass-stained coats and tongue-flop shirts.

They ran through fields, played tug-of-war,
Dug up secrets in the forest floor.
Now back at home, not one dry eye
Each pup asleep with a heavy sigh.

Their dreams are filled with open space,
Of doggy friends and endless chase.
At Three Dog Ranch they lived it right
Now snoring soft through the peaceful night.

04/18/2025

The world is a dog park...

People who don’t mingle with other people outside of their social, ethnic, religious, economic, political, or peer groups are like dogs that grow up without ever having been socialized with other dogs (they tend to be skittish around the unfamiliar and react to other dogs with hesitation, suspicion, and barking).

Socializing dogs is recommended for good reasons. Not least of which is that they exist more harmoniously with other dogs.

This doesn’t just apply to dogs. The world is a dog park.