02/19/2023
Seth and I had to say goodbye to our beloved lab Lilly almost two weeks ago. (Honest - if we didn’t have so many caring hearts in our lives, we’d probably just keep this news to ourselves for a little while longer...because the truth is, typing this makes it feel even more real, and I don’t think we're quite ready for it to be real yet)……. Lilly was 14 years old, and though 14 years is a long life for a Labrador, 14 years didn’t seem long enough. …. and even though, health wise, the odds weren’t in her favor, most days no one would have guessed it. She was strong and resilient which fooled us in believing she might actually be the one dog on earth that may just live forever. At one year old, she had a scary bout of pneumonia. A few years later complications during and after whelping a litter of puppies resulted in multiple ER visits and a hospital stay. If it weren’t for devoted vets who went above and beyond and a lot of prayers to God, we would have lost her then. Two years ago, she was diagnosed with laryngeal paralysis, which we thought would be her demise (but thankfully her symptoms were slow to progress). In December our vet discovered a significant heart murmur. The prognosis was grim… but she carried on until then end, when of all things, cancer (which wasn’t even on the list) took her… Leading up to it, after each event and diagnosis, Seth and I learned to really appreciate every day with her. We took a break from raising puppies for clients a couple years ago, so we could spend our extra time with her (and our 13 year old lab, Josey). Though, Lilly was a huge help in raising all of the puppies, we owed it to her and we wanted it for us. (She really was the ‘momma’ dog — maybe let those rascals get away with a little too much, because she never really put them 'in their place’, but she gave them confidence, helped socialize them, and if there was one thing she loved doing more than anything else was taking them swimming - hopefully ’teaching’ them to love the water, as much as she did). She may have fallen victim to circumstance in terms of a field trial career when we moved to North Carolina. (Though, her very first field trial, she did get a 4th place in a Qual)… unfortunately life just got in the way — (so we enjoyed rooting for her littermate FC AFC Mitimat Rock Paper Scissors instead) … I’m sure Seth and Lilly would agree, a few more hunting trips would have been nice, too… but despite those things, I’d like to think she’s looking back on a life well lived with no regrets.. It’s a strange new normal here for us without her. We always said Lilly is "Seth’s dog." She loved him unconditionally… but she was my therapy… our therapy… and she seemed to know that more than we did at times. She had a way of checking in on us, as if she felt like she needed to be our guardian and we loved her for that... Two days before Lilly died I nonchalantly told Seth how it felt like she’s been wanting to be close to us, more than usual. Not in an anxious or sad way. It felt loving and sweet… enough to take note. I had this overwhelming feeling she was doing this for us — not necessarily for her, but for us, if that makes sense. In hindsight she may have been letting us know our time together on earth was coming to an end. I savored all of those moments together, not knowing she was going to leave us so abruptly. The day she passed was the day we found out she had cancer. She would never let us know she was hurting - she was that dog.. and though I wish she would have let us known sooner. I’m grateful she didn’t have to suffer... Now our attention is with Josey. She followed Lilly everywhere and now she seems lost…. So, Lilly, if you’re reading this (as I’m sure all dogs can read in heaven), I’d ask if you, during a break from chasing birds and running in fields with Reese or in between swims, could come back to us to check in on Josey… and check in on us too. We miss you... but we know you are ok.
And just in case anyone needs a reminder that heaven exists… listen to this — remember when Blaze died a couple years ago, there was a rainbow. I didn’t say this at the time, but Seth was actually the only one to see it. ...It was as if it were meant only for him. A goodbye from Blaze and one last “I love you”…. Well, you’re not going to believe this…. but the day Lilly died it was rainy and gloomy. When we returned from the vet, Seth aired dogs in the rain. I took Maelynn in the house... and just like that, the clouds cleared, and inside of the house lit up to a bright amber glow... By the time I was able to get out there with Maelynn it was dark and raining again... When Seth walked in, I said, “Wasn’t that crazy? How cool would it have been if there was a rainbow, just like when Blaze died” ….and he said, “Tammy, there was.”…. He got to see it, but this time it was gone before he could grab his phone for a picture… How fitting though. Again - just meant for Seth to see - one last thing the two of them could share together. The grand entrance into heaven, Lilly’s way of saying she’s okay too and one last “I love you.”
Rest in Peace “White Rivers Lil Bean” 11.27.08 — 02.07.23
