15/04/2025
Understanding this is fundamentally important ♥️
🔥 Separation Anxiety: Your Horse Isn’t Being a Jerk
(They Just Know More About Survival Than You Do)
An Ode to Interspecies Partnership, Evolution, and Actually Knowing What You’re Doing...
Let’s begin with a radical reframe:
Your horse — yes, that horse, the one who just did a full Olympic spin because Daisy walked away — isn’t being dramatic, buddy sour, or herd-bound.
They’re responding with military-grade precision to millions of years of evolutionary programming not to die.
And when we try to “train it out of them” by visualising peace, holding our breath, and waiting for the horse to “choose connection”…..we’re not solving a problem. We’re outsourcing horsemanship to the universe and crossing our fingers.
That’s not training. That’s manifesting with a web halter.
🧠 Herd Behaviour: The Original Emergency Exit Strategy
Herd behaviour isn’t a phase. It’s not clinginess. It’s biology.
It's how prey animals stay alive by:
- Confusing predators
- Diluting risk
- Following fast and thinking later
It’s collective, chaotic, and deeply effective. And when you’re the one holding the lead rope, it’s also… rather terrifying😱.
So when your horse bolts back to Daisy like she’s carrying the last life-vest on the Titanic, they’re not being naughty.
They’re just running the most recently updated herd-survival software.
🐴 Your Horse Knows You’re Not a Horse (Thankfully)
You’re not part of the herd.
They know.
You know.
You don’t smell right.
You don’t move right.
And you wouldn’t last a day in the wild without a sunhat, 4 litres of water, a 3 protein bars and a portable espresso machine.
But here’s the genius:
Horses can learn to focus on us instead.
Not because we channel our inner alpha or brand ourselves as “conscious equestrian leaders.”
But because we prove — through skilled, repeated experiences — that we’re worth noticing.
⚓️ Becoming Their Anchor
Your job?
Become their:
-Sensory anchor — something familiar to orient to
-Emotional anchor — someone who stays calm when they are not sure
-Proprioceptive anchor — guidance they can follow with their body
-Environmental anchor — a stable point in a chaotic world
This isn’t woo. It’s not vibes. It’s trained trust.
They don’t follow your aura.They follow your consistency, timing, and clarity.
🩻 Pain Changes the Programming
If your horse is sore, tired, ulcer-y, hormonal, or simply “not feeling it” —their vulnerability goes up, and so does the risk of their herding instinct being triggered.
They might:
- Treat the arena like a war zone
- Assume the float is a hearse
- Stick to another horse like emotional duct tape
- Get “pushy,” “clingy,” or “annoying”
It’s not an attitude problem.
It’s a nervous system doing its job.
Before you crank up the pressure to “correct” the behaviour, ask:
“Is this a training issue — or a welfare issue in disguise?”
🎯 Training Isn’t Just Kindness. It’s Skill.
Let’s be real: kindness is lovely — but it’s not a strategy.
You need:
- Timing
- Feel
- The ability to release at the right micro-second
And enough self-awareness to stop blaming your horse for not understanding something you never taught clearly😬
Yes — some stress is part of learning.
The difference?
Bad stress shuts the horse down or freaks them out and they won't trust you.
Good stress builds resilience.
That’s not just feel.
That’s skillful handling under pressure.
Get it right, and your horse learns:
“I felt unsure. You stayed steady. Now I feel more confident.”
Get it wrong, and they learn:
“People are scary and unpredictable or make no sense.”
That’s not learning. That’s trauma in a halter.
⚖️ Balance, Not Bravado
You don’t need to be a guru, wear a cowboy hat, or be a barefoot empath who thinks your horse’s refusal to load is your fear of success in disguise.
You need to:
- Understand horses
- Interpret what you see
- Make informed, fair decisions — in real time
Because horsemanship isn’t about suppressing instinct. It’s about redirecting it, with skill and clarity.
You’re not a herd member.
You’re the one who says: “This way. You’re safe.”
🐴 Your Horse Isn’t Being a Jerk. They’re Being Honest.
Next time your horse panics at the gate, melts down in a clinic, or tries to emotionally reattach to their paddock mate at the cellular level…
Don’t call it disobedience.
Call it what it is:
A nervous system asking for something to trust.
Ask yourself:
- Have I prepared this horse, or just expected them to cope?
- Have I trained them to rely on me, or just hoped they would?
- Have I taught them to feel okay, or just demanded silence?
Separation anxiety isn’t a flaw - It’s a biological response to uncertainty.
And anchoring?
It’s not a vibe.
It’s a learnable skill.
Yours to teach.
Theirs to trust.
Final Note 📝
We’re not trying to be horses.
We’re not herd members.
We’re not enlightened spirit guides with a side hustle in nervous system healing.
We are:
- Interpreters
- Anchors
- Reliable, skilled decision-makers in a world that can overwhelm a horse's brain.
It’s not mystical.
It’s not macho.
It’s not a retreat, a ritual, or a weekend of vague breakthroughs and better selfies.
It’s real horsemanship — grounded, teachable, honourable.
You don’t need to be dominant. You don’t need to be brave.You just need to be worth following.
📢 Before You Go…
If this made you laugh, nod, or finally stop calling your horse "naughty" or blaming Daisy🌼— hit share, not copy/paste.
This is original work. Mine. Not plucked from a reel, not paraphrased from a guru, and definitely not up for grabs.
So if you're inspired? Great — credit it.
🎓 Want More? This is the warm-up. See the comments as there is more…
