Murph & Me Force-Free Dog Training + Behaviour

Murph & Me Force-Free Dog Training + Behaviour Amber-Jade: Qualified Animal Behaviourist & Trainer CertCAB, DipCABT, C.C.A.B

Do you need help choosing the right professional for your dog? 😊 I joined We Love Pets SA to discuss everything you need...
26/09/2025

Do you need help choosing the right professional for your dog? 😊

I joined We Love Pets SA to discuss everything you need to know when it comes to choosing the right trainer & behaviourist. 🤍🐶

Choosing the right trainer or behaviourist can feel overwhelming, especially when your dog is showing behaviours you don’t quite understand.

In our latest YouTube interview with Amber-Jade from Murph & Me Force-Free Dog Training + Behaviour, we explore:

✔️ The difference between a trainer and a behaviourist
✔️ Red flags to avoid in South Africa’s unregulated industry
✔️ How to find the right professional for your family

🎥 Watch the full conversation here 👉 https://youtu.be/oNPioqW7FBM

Your dog deserves help that’s based on kindness, science, and compassion 🐾💛

NO, It’s not “Just a dog” When someone says “it’s just a dog” they miss the truth entirely. A dog is not just a thing yo...
10/09/2025

NO, It’s not “Just a dog”

When someone says “it’s just a dog” they miss the truth entirely. A dog is not just a thing you have or possess.

Our dogs are the heartbeat of our lives, the souls that sit beside us in silence when words fail and the reason we smile on days when nothing else feels worth smiling for. Our dogs are emotional and sentient beings who feel deeply. 🤍

Leaving a gathering early or missing it completely, spending extra on their care or planning a day around them isn’t ridiculous. It’s love in action. It’s recognising that dogs aren’t objects in our homes but living emotional beings who rely on us to feel safe and understood.

It’s honouring the trust they place in us when they look to us for guidance. It’s choosing to pause our chores to play a game, to leave a party a little early so they aren’t alone too long or to take an extra walk because they love being outside. 🤍

Choosing them in those small everyday ways doesn’t mean we’re giving up parts of our lives. It means we’re consciously making space in our lives for theirs. And there is nothing silly about love that is intentional or honouring our dogs needs.

Our dogs are part of the family. They weave themselves into the rhythm of our lives until every routine and every corner of the house holds their presence. To love a dog is to know devotion in its purest form and to lose them is to feel a silence louder than any sound.

So no. It’s never “just a dog”. It’s love deeper than you will ever know.

They are family.
They are our best friends.
They are our soul companions.
They are our everything. 🤍

23/08/2025

Anticipatory grief is something I didn't truly understand until I started to notice my feelings around seeing Nero begin to age. It’s the grief that shows up before the inevitable goodbye. An ache that creeps in when you see your dog’s body start to slow, when the jumps they once made so easily now take effort, when you catch yourself holding your breath when they stumble.

It’s such a complicated mix of sadness, quiet regret, overwhelming love, and so much gratitude. I find myself replaying all the moments I could have done better, even though I was always doing the best I could with what I knew at the time. That’s the thing about guardianship you walk beside your dog through every stage of their life without a roadmap. You learn as you go, you make mistakes, you adjust, and through it all, you keep showing up for them. Holding it together the best you can.

What strikes me most is how this kind of grief makes every moment feel full of meaning.

His playful smile as he comes running in from the yard after barking at the neighbor dogs.

His frustrated double foot stomps in the morning when I haven't gotten up to give him food quick enough.

The way he looks so peaceful when he sleeps sprawled out on the couch. Taking up far too much space for his medium size body.

His breathy nose boops as he shoves my hand expecting it to only touch him, instead of typing this post.

Each little moment becomes something I am so desperate to hold onto.

I tried to rationalize with myself telling my brain to just enjoy the moments, but it also flashes to a time when I will no longer have them.

Everything that seemed important... feels less significant. The only thing I wish for now is just more time.

I don't care how many tricks he can do.
I don't care if he pulls on the leash.
I don't care if he doesn't immediately respond to my recall.

All that matters is that we're together.

"Dogs lives are too short. Their only fault really." ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull is one of my favorite quotes because of its accuracy.

If you’re walking this path with your own dog, please know you’re not alone.

Anticipatory grief is the price of love but it’s also proof of it.

❤️

Have you ever struggled to choose the right professional to help your companion? Murph & Me has written a comprehensive ...
08/08/2025

Have you ever struggled to choose the right professional to help your companion?

Murph & Me has written a comprehensive article & guide to help you choose the right trainer & behaviourist for you & your dog! 🐶

Download the awesome August issue of the We Love Pets SA magazine to find out more.🤩

You can read the full article here: https://www.welovepetssa.co.za/magazinea

🤍🤍
07/08/2025

🤍🤍

27/06/2025

Imagine living in discomfort every day without the ability to tell anyone. That’s the reality many dogs face. They may not cry out, limp, or yelp, but that doesn’t mean they’re not hurting. Because of how stoic dogs can be, the only clue we often get is a change in behaviour and that’s where so many people go wrong.

Behavioural issues like aggression, reactivity, withdrawal, or anxiety are assumed to be purely emotional or psychological. But what if it's pain?

This is your wake-up call.

A pain trial involves a veterinary professional prescribing pain relief for a set period to assess whether there is a behavioural or physical improvement. It's a diagnostic tool, not a final answer. If your dog has had a behavioural issue for a long time, the pain trial should last at least 6 to 8 weeks to give enough time to observe any meaningful changes

Critically, it’s often used when there are no overt signs of lameness or injury, but the dog’s BEHAVIOUR suggests possible pain, think sudden reluctance to be touched, changes in posture, agitation, growling, or even withdrawal. Dogs don’t dramatize. They cope.

Let’s be brutally honest. If you don’t do a pain trial and the dog is, in fact, in pain, you risk:

- Prolonged suffering: Dogs endure silently. Pain can cause constant distress that no behaviourist or training technique will resolve.

- Worsening behaviour: Pain-induced behaviours can become ingrained and more extreme, including biting or phobia-like shutdowns.

- Misdiagnosis: Your dog may be labelled “anxious,” “aggressive,” or “stubborn” when in reality, they’re simply hurting.

- Unnecessary euthanasia: Tragically, some dogs are put down because their behaviour was misattributed to temperament or training failure, when the true cause was untreated pain.

The most common objections: “I don’t want to medicate my dog unnecessarily” or “I can't see any pain”

Here’s the reality: A properly managed pain trial is safe. A short-term use of analgesics is extremely unlikely to cause harm. The risk of side effects is minimal compared to the risk of ongoing undetected pain.

The danger of a pain trial? Almost none.

We have to respect the breed. Great read. 🙌🏻
20/06/2025

We have to respect the breed. Great read. 🙌🏻

🚨 Let’s Talk Truth — Before It’s Too Late 🚨
For too long, the truth about Pit Bulls has been buried under layers of myth, denial, and misinformation. But the consequences of that silence are mounting — with devastating results for dogs, people, and the breed itself.

This collaboration between the Pit Bull Federation of South Africa and Taryn Blyth (Kommetjie Canine College) pulls no punches. It’s time to stop sugar-coating and start telling the truth — because understanding the breed’s origin, purpose, and limitations is the only way to protect it from extinction by ignorance.

📢 Read. Share. Speak honestly. The future of the breed depends on it. 🐾
The Pit Bull Federation, as well as responsible behaviour professionals, trainers and rescues, have been trying to educate the public for years on the realities of owning a pit bull. However, too many fans of the breed, amateur trainers and unethical rescue
organizations have continued to perpetuate myths that contradict the very nature of these dogs and set them up to fail. This post is a collaboration between The Pit Bull Federation of South Africa and Taryn Blyth, animal behaviorist and dog trainer (Kommetjie Canine College). We ask that all like-minded professionals and interest
groups share and support this attempt to break the silence and educate the public around the realities of the breed, to prevent further tragedy. There have been far too many human fatalities over the last decade due to the refusal to accept what a pit bull is
and what they were bred to do and even more dog fatalities. Refusal to face the truth does not help this breed and will continue to fuel the crisis, which has already resulted in calls for a breed ban.

Bred to fight and kill other dogs:
Most of the dog breeds that we have today were originally selected for a particular type of “work”. For example, we all know that herding dogs were selected to herd livestock, retrievers were bred to retrieve game, pointers were selected to locate and keep game
still until it could be shot, and terriers were bred to catch and kill rodents. Somehow, while we are happy to talk about the origins of all other breeds and to accept that this has a unique influence on the fundamental nature of the dog, there is much denial about the history of the Pit Bull and the actual repercussions of genetically enhancing their motivation and ability to fight and kill their own kind. Pit Bulls were genetically selected to be able to fight and kill other dogs and to be extremely good at doing so. While it is not the fault of the dogs themselves, but rather that of the people who
deliberately set about this endeavor, we cannot deny that genetically selecting a dog for such purposes has had a profound effect on their physical conformation as well as their behavioral and emotional disposition. Gameness (the desire to keep fighting no
matter what) was a highly sought after trait, strongly selected for in the breed’s development. They are NOT nanny dogs. They were NEVER originally bred to be family companions. They are, simply put, carefully formed and created to maim and kill their own species. Furthermore, this occupation for the dog is not something from the distant past, sadly it still happens all over the world to this day. The Pit Bull is a fairly recent breed and has VERY LITTLE history of being bred for companionship rather than fighting. They have not evolved away from their original form and function.

Genetically selected for dog-dog aggression
Being genetically selected for their propensity to fight and kill other dogs means that Pit Bulls are at FAR GREATER risk for developing dog-dog aggression than other breeds. No one denies that a border collie is more likely to herd children or joggers than a labrador and no one disputes that Labradors enjoy putting everything in their mouths. Again, with every other type of dog, we accept that the function they were selected for has an impact on their NORMAL, EXPECTED behavior. Of course there may be exceptions, but they are the exception and not the norm. While every dog may be an individual, a vital factor in assessing any behavior case and in fulfilling a dog’s needs, is knowing what
breed the dog is .Trying to enrich a Husky’s life by teaching them to retrieve would be laughable, but giving a bored Labrador the opportunity to fetch and carry things, could massively improve their quality of life. The form and function of a dog MATTERS and IS a
good predictor of behavioral preferences. Time and again we understand and accept this with every other breed on the planet and work according to this framework. People accept that border collies are at risk of herding and getting nippy with joggers or
children, we accept that recall can be a challenge for hounds, who like to follow their noses, we accept that Labradors tend to be more destructive than the average dog and we accept that allowing pet rats to run around with a Jack Russel probably isn’t the greatest idea. Yet, the stubborn notion that a Pit Bull is the same as any other dog when it comes to their risk for dog-dog aggression persists. This is a fundamental denial of reality, and it must stop.

Hard-wired to grab, bite and shake
The behavior pattern that has been modified in order to create dogs for various types of work, is the Predatory Motor Pattern (PMP). The PMP is what enables wild canids to feed themselves successfully and it is a hard-wired behavior sequence. It is not a learned behavior – it is part of the “hardware”. While dogs have evolved over thousands of years to be primarily scavengers and not hunters, remnants of the PMP of their wild ancestors remains. Through selective breeding, we have enhanced certain parts of this
behavior sequence and weakened other parts, in different ways, depending on the purpose the dog was designed for. We selected for FUNCTION and along the way a related physical form developed that aligned with that function.

The original and complete PMP is as follows:
ORIENT → EYE → STALK → CHASE → GRAB BITE → SHAKE BITE/KILL BITE → DISSECT → EAT
The Border Collie is probably one of the best examples of how humans tinkered with the predatory motor pattern in order to create a dog that would herd but not harm livestock. The border collie has a modified version of the PMP that goes like this:

EYE → STALK → CHASE (in exaggerated form and on repeat)

Border collies will rehearse this sequence of behavior until the cows come home – or the sheep, literally! They do not need any external rewards for this behavior as the chemical reactions in the brain that take place while they are engaged in this activity are internally reinforcing and make them feel GOOD. The same principle applies to other breeds: Pointers have exaggerated EYE → STALK behaviors, Labradors have a modified GRAB BITE behaviors and Flock guarding dogs that live amongst livestock have very weak, malleable or non-existent functional predatory behaviors (which is why the sheep don’t run from them and why, despite their size, they are seldom responsible for human or dog fatalities).

Unfortunately, the parts of the predatory sequence that have been selected for and exaggerated in Pit Bulls are:

EYE → SHAKE BITE/KILL BITE and sometimes DISSECT.

This shortened form of the PMP contains the initial sighting of the “prey” and goes straight into the shaking and killing bit. There is nothing in between, which is why attacks are often seemingly unpredictable and with little “warning” if you do not understand the breed of dog in front of you.
It is vital we understand that in the same way any other breed of dog gains internal reinforcement from carrying out their function and rehearsing their PMP (herding, pointing, chasing, retrieving etc) so does a Pit Bull. Pit Bulls ENJOY grabbing, shaking and ripping “prey” to pieces. They don’t need to be coerced, trained or abuse to enjoy this behavior – it is an inherent predisposition.

Incredible Strength, low reactivity threshold and high pain threshold
Pit Bulls have been selected for exaggerated muscle mass, making them incredibly strong dogs, even though they are not particularly large in comparison to many other breeds. Powerful bodies behind powerful jaws have been deliberately selected so that Pit Bulls can inflict maximum damage in a fight. Aside from the “gameness” mentioned earlier, Pit Bulls also have a tendency to react very quickly in specific situations: a pit bull that was expected to fight needed to engage quickly with an opponent – they could not afford to stand there and think about it first. A low reactivity threshold is common in all terriers (Jack Russells are notorious for jumping in first and asking questions later), but particularly risky in a dog with the strength and gameness of a Pit Bull. While it is
hard to definitively assess pain thresholds in dogs under normal circumstances, Pit Bulls are generally described as being “tolerant” of handling and not overly sensitive. When engaged in fighting, the chemical changes in the brain also affect the perception of pain and there are many reported cases of severely injured dogs continuing to fight relentlessly. Stopping a pit bull during a fight is incredibly difficult and almost impossible. Many people have sustained severe injuries trying to do so.

Socializing and Training cannot erase genetics
One of the biggest misunderstandings around the breed is the belief that socializing and training can override hard wired behaviour patterns. Added to this is the misconception that the type of aggression involved in severe attacks on other dogs and people is simply defensive in nature. There are many claims that there is no genetic basis for aggression and that Pit Bulls do not show higher levels of aggression than any other breed. The problem with these statements is that they are referring to DEFENSIVE aggression. Defensive aggression is a normal survival mechanism i.e. the ability to use aggression to protect oneself from a threat. Indeed, any dog of any breed is capable of defensive aggression if they are threatened, frightened or hurt. This is completely normal. However, defensive aggression is characterized by barking, growling, snarling, snapping, biting and releasing. Any dog from a chihuahua to a great dane is capable of this type of behavior in the “right” circumstances. Pit Bulls may be no more likely than any other dog breed to engage in this type of aggressive behavior. However, the severe attacks on other dogs and sometimes people, that result in hospitalization and death are not purely defensive in nature. These attacks involve repeated deep bites, shaking and tearing. In these attacks the Predatory Motor Pattern that is hard-wired into the breed takes over and the attacks become PREDATORY in nature. The dogs are not simply defending themselves – they are engaged in highly reinforcing behavior, which they can actually begin to seek out, once they have experienced it. Yes, all dogs can bite but most dogs do not put people in hospital or kill other dogs. The reality is that the vast
majority of dog bite fatalities the world over are due to Pit Bulls or Pit Bull type dogs. While good socialization definitely decreases the chances of any dog biting defensively, it does not erase the predatory motor pattern of that dog. Pit Bulls may be incredibly
“friendly” and tolerant with other dogs UNTIL something goes wrong. Too many people have learned the hard way that having a sociable Pit Bull does NOT mean their predatory motor pattern will not be triggered if they do get into an altercation with another dog.
Everyone assumes that their dog is the exception until it is too late, with tragic consequences.

If you love the breed, you need to accept them for who they are. If you love the breed, you need to set them up for success and not for failure. If you love your Pit Bull, do not put them in a situation where they will end up harming other dogs or people – because if
you love them, you do not want to lose them.


As your trainer & behaviourist I will always advocate for underlying pain. 🤍
18/06/2025

As your trainer & behaviourist I will always advocate for underlying pain. 🤍

‼️ If an “aggression expert” isn’t advocating for thorough investigation into possible pain as part of their work with you… they are NOT ethical! ‼️

This is a sensitive story, and as such names have been changed to protect my clients’ privacy and identity. The dog pictured below is mine.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been working with a family and their dog (we’ll call him “Benny”). A year ago, Benny turned from a loving family pet to suddenly guarding the lounge; anytime that someone made an unexpected move in the room or entered it, Benny would begin posturing and barking at them, which eventually escalated into jumping and grabbing at their clothes, and then bites that punctured the skin.

A physical examination at the vet didn’t yield any results, and Benny was taking multiple types of anxiety medication that didn’t touch his behaviour.

We started working together, and I asked them to have some scans done to further investigate pain. Behaviour changes are one of the first indicators of pain, but otherwise dogs are REALLY good at hiding pain and it can be easily missed, even in a vet exam.

Because they had already been to see the vet, I was met with some resistance. We did implement safety measures and some training strategies to try to help Benny feel more at ease in the lounge, but his behaviour wasn’t improving.

Eventually, Benny did have an MRI, and it was revealed that he has a chiari malformation in his brain - that is, part of his brain was pushing down into the spinal canal. We could have done all the training in the world but it wouldn’t have mattered, because this wasn’t a behaviour issue.

How many trainers would have slapped a shock collar on this poor dog, who was already suffering? How many would have simply said that he needed to learn boundaries or hear the word “no” and not looked any further? How many would say that it’s all well and good to use positive reinforcement, until it “doesn’t work” and then you need punishment?

It’s estimated that up to 80% of aggression cases have some kind of underlying medical issue. You NEED a behaviour expert who can liaise with your vet and who will advocate for *thorough* examination, not just a quick check over to tick a box.

It’s an unregulated industry. Be careful who you trust with your dog, even if they call themselves an expert or have tons of followers. And if your dog’s behaviour suddenly changes, they’re probably in pain.

17/06/2025
30/05/2025
28/05/2025

TEACH KIDS TO BE DOG FRIENDLY

I’m often asked - “How can I make my dog more child friendly?”

The question really should be - “How can I make my child more dog friendly?”

Children don’t come with an inborn ability to know how to interact with dogs. It’s up to us to teach them.

It’s surprising that there aren’t more dog bites considering how often children are seen treating dogs like stuffed toys.

If you think about it, dogs are actually amazingly tolerant and patient with us. They try their best to communicate with us, in the only way they know how, through using their body language.

A dogs attempt to show us they’re uncomfortable, scared, stressed or anxious is so often completely ignored or not understood.

As parents, I believe it should be a non-negotiable responsibility to teach our children about how to respect and behave around dogs to keep both of them safe.

Always supervise children and dogs, even if a dog seems relaxed and friendly.

Here are some links to free, on-line resources if you’re looking for more information on how to keep children and dogs safe together -

https://kidsarounddogs.co.uk/pages/free-resources

https://www.gooddoginabox.com/top-20-ways-keep-kids-and.../

https://www.familypaws.com/resources/

https://www.cooperandkids.com

https://poochparenting.net/blog/

28/05/2025

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