09/09/2023
How did we get your dog here?
This should be obvious. If you’ve brought your dog in for training, there’s obviously some aspects of the way you’re living together which aren’t working, aren’t healthy, or need improving.
Over and over at go-home sessions I hear clients ask: “When can we pet/kiss/cuddle him?”, “When can he be allowed to freely roam?”, “When can he be on the furniture?”, “When can we relax the rules and loosen up?” And while I get all these questions—we get dogs so we can enjoy them—there seems to be a strange void in reality, or maybe better yet, in understanding.
If you’ve got a dog with zero issues, and your relationship and life together is one of harmony and ease, this post isn’t for you. And our services are likely not something you’d be searching out. But, if you don’t fall into this category, whether it be due to your hard work with your dog, or due to having one of those unicorn dogs (they’re out there!), then it’s time for some straight talk, and hopefully some helpful tips.
If you find yourself in the camp of needing to make changes and improvements with your dog, then the above questions are not the questions you should be focused on, at least not yet, and likely not for a good while. Instead, the questions should be: “How do we construct our day/life to best recreate how you lived with our dogs?”, “What were we missing/doing that created the mixed messages or allowances that led things astray?”, “How do we learn to see all the little moments—which we thought were benign—as far larger, gateway moments?”, “How do we present ourselves in a fashion which will cause our dogs to take us seriously?”, “How does affection, doting, treats, and even play often create messages of softness that work against our goals?”, “How do we correct our dog’s unwanted behavior in a fashion which is effective and helpful?”, “How do we stop feeling guilty about implementing all of these changes, and instead feel good that we’re doing what’s best for our dogs?”, “How do we do what you did, exactly, so we can get what you got?”
The questions should be focused on fixing what was missing or broken, rather than focused on “How do we get back to where we were…which caused us to come to you in the first place?” I’m sure you see the irony here. And like I said, the goal isn’t to be in this new space forever, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re fighting an uphill battle. One of deeply entrenched perceptions, patterns, associations—which all need to be undone, and rebuilt correctly, BEFORE the fun stuff can be implemented without fallout, fallback, and disappointment.
Once you’ve put in that work, THEN you can start to ask the other questions. And if you do so in this order, you’ll find yourself talking with a very excited, motivated, and optimistic dog trainer…because they’ll know you’re both focused on reality, sacrifice, effort, and compromises. And they’ll know they’ve got a client who’s got a very good chance of achieving their goals. ❤️