28/11/2021
I totally get this........
So important to learn, watch and understand your dogs ways, what are they communicating to you.....watch them when they look at you.....
When we dog moms don't understand why our dogs are reactive, or anxious, or fearful, or so easily over-aroused, or bark like crazy at everything (or at nothing), or won't come when we call when they're in that non-thinking state ..... not understanding our dog's behavior is an indicator that we do NOT have a well-built foundation of mutual trust and respect. --> (yes - even if our dog is sometimes loving, and happy to work for rewards) ...
A loving, cooperative relationship with our dogs starts with TRUST.
Trust happens when we feel SAFE with another person, and we know that they always have our back, and will never dismiss our feelings, or try to distract us from the truth of our feelings.
I get it...
It may be difficult to feel safe and trusting of your dog right now.....but we ARE the leading co-regulators in our family, and so breaking out of that old behavior spiral MUST start with US.
Once we take those first baby steps toward trust with our dog, we can learn to listen to one another, and learn how to cooperate together, and learn how to behave better, together.
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The thing is, we have some things ALL WRONG about living cooperatively with dogs.
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We have been [wrongly] led to believe:
1. That a dog who is a pleasure to live with must be trained to be obedient.
^That's a big no, not true at all. Think about it: The very nature of obedience training, no matter how 'positive', is still based on coercion, compliance and transactions.
2. That our dogs are not intelligent enough, not willing enough, and just not capable enough to be cooperative, attentive and responsive without being PAID to do so.
ugh...that is so not true!
3. That if our dogs are not well-behaved ... it's our fault for not being a good enough 'trainer'.
Or, that there is something wrong with our dogs (and maybe we should just medicate them)
The truth is:
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THESE THREE COMMON BELIEFS ARE FALSE.
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Here's what I know to be true:
In spite of our differences, dogs and humans are very much alike. We are both intelligent, sentient, socially-adapted mammals who thrive in loving family units where trust in one another helps us all to feel safe, calm and happy.
That means our primary role as dog moms is to grow and nurture safety, trust and confidence in us and in our dogs ... which leads to calm, connected and mindful behavior ... for everyone!
I get it: having a sensitive, anxious, hyper or reactive dog is hard.
When your dog is communicating something that you don’t understand, it’s frustrating - for both of you.
Behavior is Communication, and since dogs can’t talk it out, they ACT it out.
When your dog feels uncomfortable, vulnerable and unheard … their behavior escalates from a whisper to a scream. (just about like us, right?)
Just like the story I shared about my Maya ...
I agreed to assess Maya, knowing that she was literally screaming for help with her crazy, obsessive-compulsive, worrisome and frustrating behavior.
Underneath all of her unruly behavior was a sweet and lovable pup, and her previous family thought they did everything possible to help her. They tried so hard.
Dog moms are like that -- we're passionate about trying to do right by our difficult dogs...
And yet, I've seen it again and again -- the same big mistakes that lead to the difficult and challenging behavior of misunderstood dogs.
It's not our fault though. The dog obedience training methods are outdated and ineffective outside of the training center.
We don't know what we don't know, right?
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And as Maya Angelou says: "When we know better, we do better..."
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If my enlightened and contemporary, common sense, approach to living in cooperative partnership with dogs resonates with you, then you will LOVE the "Understanding Your Reactive Dog" workshop I'm hosting.
I'm going to be teaching my heart out, and I really want you there! xo
Sign up now:
https://dancinghearts.co/understand-your-reactive-dog-101-enroll/
PS: Can't attend live? No worries, we will post the replay for you to stream later. xo