06/12/2022
Written by
Jill Porter
August 2020
βFRIENDLY DOGS"
I wanted to write a bit about so-called "friendly" dogs.
I have been in dogs over 35 years as an adult and have seen a lot of so-called "friendly" dogs. You know the type, the ones dragging their owners up to anyone and everything, while the owner shouts "he just wants to say hi!"
The problem is, most of these "friendly" dogs are in fact rude, have no social skills and rarely listen to their owners while distracted or highly aroused. Their owners lack basic understand of dog behavior and body language. So these dogs terrorize innocent dogs and their owners, often resulting in altercations and possibly fear aggression or reactive behavior in the victim dogs. Leashed dogs can't get away so may be pushed past their limit to NOT react. Dogs who think they HAVE to meet all dogs can be very frustrated when not allowed to, and frustration is the number one cause of aggression in dogs.
Here is the thing. Most dogs don't enjoy meeting other dogs. Read that again. MOST DOGS DON'T ENJOY MEETING OTHER DOGS. Think of it like this, when you are out in public, do YOU rush up to every human you see, get into their personal space and touch them inappropriately, just because you are friendly and want to say "hi"? Wouldn't that be SO inappropriate in our human society, and possibly have a negative outcome?
I have a little analogy I make when counseling my puppy buyers on this topic. Picture yourself shopping for groceries at the store. There will be people you walk past in the aisles without even making eye contact. Maybe you will make eye contact with a few, smile and nod and move on. Maybe you will run into someone you know and will stop to chat for a few minutes. Then when you get to the check out lane, you may have a quick conversation with the cashier. Those are all different levels of social interaction and all are considered socially acceptable in our human society. Yet people often insist their dogs meet and have more physical interactions with EVERY dog they see. It is uncomfortable for most dogs, and even worse when they are on leash. It sets dogs up to fail, to react, to lash out after more subtle body language cues are ignored, and it makes the dog lose trust in you to keep him safe and honor his feelings. If a puppy is involved he learns very inappropriate behaviors at an early age.
Instead of thinking your dog has to meet every other dog he sees, instead teach him to be comfortable seeing other dogs but not meeting, and not reacting. If you meet a dog you already know and with whom your dog has a friendly relationship with, that's different. But leave strange dogs alone. That will go a long way to preventing leash reactivity and aggression! And don't be afraid to nicely but firmly tell others not to let their leashed or worse yet, unleashed dog, approach your leashed dog. Your dog will be more comfortable with you, knowing you have his back. Teach him a "watch me" cue using food to reward him turning his gaze to your face, and practicing a lot at home first. It is a VERY useful thing to have a dog who is well conditioned to pay attention to you before you face distractions. And most of all, change the thinking that dogs have to "love everyone", "be good with all dogs" because neither of those is realistic!
Your dog can have a few friends who are compatible with him, and that will more than meet his social needs. But these are not dogs he meets randomly on the street.
We as owners really need to understand dogs, read their body language and honor them, not try to see them or make them into human "fur kids", since that is not possible anyway.