08/01/2024
I had a dream last night. I had a dream that I picked you up, & we went for strawberry ice cream together š
It was a beautiful dream, & I havenāt been able to shake it all day.
Iāve lost two friends in my life in violent ways, two friends whose deaths I found out about via social media posts.
Thatās not something I would wish on anyone, ever.
I worry about most of the people in my life, but some more than others. The ones I canāt see in person. The ones I canāt touch, I canāt hold. & especially the ones I know are vulnerable.
But of all my friends I think I worry about you the most. The grief of not being able to verify if youāre ok, if youāre still fighting- itās a monster in my heart.
But the joy you have brought me, the comfort, laughs, & inside jokes- I will gladly host this monster to have known your friendship.
As Iāve grown Iāve realized that most relationships {all?} are impermanent in some way. They change, evolve, end. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. & while my heart wants to rail against this; hold you all as close to me as I can forevermore, I can not. So instead I say this-
I love you, I will always love you. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing- I love you š¤ š