02/02/2020
This is way too good not to share! It reminds me of a sweet Chocolate Lab named Jackson!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
The injustice.
The outrage.
The inhumanity.
Bentley the Begging Biscuit Bandit is busy baying, bellowing, beseeching and bemoaning my barbaric and brutal biscuit betrayal.
Imagine the horror of being told that you are limited to a paltry three (3) biscuits per UPS delivery.
Imagine the horror of being forced to wait almost *forty five minutes* between eating your breakfast and the arrival of the United Puppy Snacks truck. Forty. Five. Long. Minutes. Of absolute torment and hunger. A veritable lifetime!
This fraudulent four legged feigner of famine is singing his siren song of starvation in the desperate hope that I will relent...just this once...from enforcement of the Three Biscuits Per Delivery Rule. Just this once.
But it’s a tough world out here in the mean streets of Newberg, Oregon and I have to hold firm. If I let even one dog take advantage of me, the word will quickly get out among the local canine con artists that I am a softie, an easy mark that can get pushed around and manipulated by any gluttonous grifter with a sad story. I cant let that happen. Not even once. I have a reputation to uphold. I gotta keep these dogs in line. So I pay the requisite 3 biscuit toll in order to leave the vehicle and make the delivery, steeling my resolve against the veritable onslaught of howls and protestations that emanate forth once the biscuit box has been closed.
But then I see his eyes.
Those soft, pleading eyes that pierce my very soul and turn my willpower into jelly.
It then occurs to me that, yes, while I must indeed hold firm to the Three Biscuits Per Delivery Rule, perhaps a loophole to that rule could be found just this once. You see, I paid the three biscuits and made the delivery. But now that the delivery has ended, perhaps *additional* biscuits could be dispensed...just this once...in the form of a “Return Safely To The Truck” fee, which would be a *completely separate* transaction from the Three Biscuit Delivery Fee and therefore not a violation of the Rule in any way!
Just this once...
By Scott Hodges.
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