09/24/2021
Giving our dog what THEY need:
How many of us truly give our dog(s) what they need? Sure we give them plenty of love, attention, food, and water but is that enough? I thought so but found out it was not at all what they needed and will use my own experience for this story.
In 2017 I adopted a 4 year old male Lhasa Apso named Baxter from a local shelter but for the wrong reasons. In 2016 my ex-fiance and me adopted a 12 year old male Shih Zhu named Logan from a local shelter and it was a great experience with him and I. Logan and me bonded immediately and became truly best friends. When I was home he was always with me and would be my shadow. Unfortunately my engagement came to an end in early 2017 and with Logan being in my ex's name he stayed when I left. I was beyond devastated and had a void that was more difficult than losing some people in my life. Since I worked every other weekend I had asked her about being able to have Logan on my weekends I didn't work and in return I would pay for all his food and split vet bills. This was not going to happen and I had to say goodbye for good to him. I now wanted to fill the void of losing Logan and seen an ad for Baxter at the same shelter we had adopted Logan from. I knew I wanted that size dog and within a few weeks was able to adopt Baxter.
Baxter came with many behavior warnings for aggression from previous abuse he had encountered but I felt I could help him. Sadly at that time I was in a bad place emotionally and only gave him what I needed and not what he needed. I showered him with love and affection and lets just say he ate very well although not always the best for him. I did not realize at the time I was making his behavior worse because I gave him no kind of guidance or structure. I spent every moment I was not at work with him and took him everywhere he was permitted to go. Although he was really good with me he was a terror with any other people and other dogs. Keep in mind with Logan he was 12 years old and now in his golden years so he was mellow with very low energy requirements so just hanging out on the couch together worked for him. Baxter still having decent energy at 4 years old was not getting nearly enough exercise and was coddled by me way too much. After a couple of aggression incidents I started doing a lot of research on dog behavior and started seeing the mistakes I was making. Again, I was only giving him what I needed and not what he needed.
I was nervous taking him anywhere that a person had to make contact with him because he would bite. That made vet visits and regular trips to the groomer an anxiety event for both of us. Although I drove Baxter around everywhere with me he was not getting what he needed in terms of burning energy and healthy mental stimulation. Since those days I have mended a lot of my ways with him and helped him by doing things for him. Before he goes to any appointment he gets a physical work out which has done wonders for him and he has had compliments from his groomer and vet. I did not want to give him medicine if I could help it and wanted to avoid issues down the road. I have learned that if I walk him enough that he starts panting his whole attitude changes and he sheds that negative anxiety energy. He is still very protective here at home but I have also learned that he is an Alpha dog along with being a naturally bred guard dog so he will always have some aggression in that regard. Once I realized what he needed things took a change for the better overall. I think that we as loving dog parents tend to treat a dog how we would want treated without realizing they are not getting what they need. They are dogs that have different needs than we humans have. I was not giving my dog what he needed and could not understand why he was not improving. Now that I realize his needs we have a healthier relationship and I do not dread dropping him off for appointments anymore.
