01/01/2020
This is Marla. Marla is going to say it.
Marla fu***ng hates new year. She hates people trying to schedule ‘fun’, she hates the competitiveness of looking back at how much she might have (or not achieved), she hates the weight of expectation that somehow what she has done already wasn’t enough & this year she needs to ‘step it up’ & smash 2020.
Because the thing is, Marla might not have glittering results, frillies, championship qualifications & eleventy billion sponsorship deals but Marla knows this. She did her fu***ng best.
Yes, sometimes that felt like it fell majorly short. There were still dressage tests that were twatlaps of chaos, show jumping rounds where she couldn’t see a stride even if there had been a massive flashing sign saying ‘Oi Twatchops THIS is the spot you want’ & Cross country rounds where her f**k ups picked up faults & even going training there were visits from The F**kening that left her doubting whether she should even still be riding, let alone attempting to event. But Marla knows this every time she went out & put a saddle & bridle on her horse, she wanted to do her best. And you can’t apply a shiny social media filter to & a hashtag to that...because, quite frankly, that is enough.
Marla has learnt that not everyone is going to like her & she can’t change that ( she also gets it because quite often she doesn’t like herself either) but she has a crew of people who, despite her loud, brashness & potty mouth, quite like having her around. They are the people cheering with her when she’s happy, sending her messages when she might be feeling low & inspiring her with a year planner filled in with what she should be aiming for. These are the people that matter, because to these she is enough.
Marla loves her horses. She appreciates the privilege of having them in her life. This last year she has realised that having that beautiful head looking over a stable door happy & healthy means more than any competition result, that doing your best for the horse in your life is more than any frilly. It is enough.
So if any wants Marla she is saying this. She is tiptoeing forward to 2020, with more wrinkles & grey hair, a slightly fatter arse (by the next decade that f**ker is going to have its own postcode) but with a dream, a passion & the knowledge that she is enough.